Gemma Collins clashes with mum Joan

Gemma Collins clashes with her mother on her new documentary after Joan said that she turned a blind eye to her self harm because ‘life was busy’. 

The 41-year-old TV personality opens up about her self-harm in the upcoming Channel 4 show Gemma Collins: Self-Harm and Me and questions her mother’s ignorant approach to her struggles.

In a trailer for the show, the former The Only Way is Essex star tells her mum Joan: ‘I obviously needed some sort of help or support at that time.’

Joan responds: ‘Which you would have got if you just spoke about it, when you done it, we didn’t want to bring attention to it.’

‘Your and dad’s approach was like, ‘let’s never mention it’,’ Gemma continues. 

Gemma called her parents out for their approach and turning a blind eye to what was going on, which Joan justified by being too busy.

Tough: The 41-year-old TV personality opens up about her self-harm in the upcoming Channel 4 show Gemma Collins: Self-Harm and Me and questions her mother’s ignorant approach to her struggles

‘Life was busy,’ Gemma’s mum retorts, with her daughter firing back: ‘But what’s more important, life being busy or your daughter cutting themselves?’  

In the one-hour documentary, Gemma speaks about her troubled past with therapist Mandy Saligari as well as her fiancé, Rami Hawash and meets other people that went through a similar experience to her.

Her mum continued: ‘You seemed okay; you were always supported. The problem is obviously with you, it wouldn’t have been from home life or… you had everything. You was happy.

Difficult: In a trailer for the show, the former The Only Way is Essex star tells her mum Joan: ‘I obviously needed some sort of help or support at that time’

‘I don’t even know why you did do it. I just thought at the time were you copying someone off the TV.’

The Diva Forever star seemed frustrated at her mum’ attitude towards her struggles and reminded her that those who self-harm often ‘hide it’ from their loved ones.

She said: ‘Well self-harming people hide it. It’s hard for you to deal with I know

‘You can laugh because it’s probably your way of coping with it, and it’s fine. I get it, I get it, I understand.’

Awkward: ‘Life was busy,’ Gemma’s mum says, with her daughter firing back: ‘But what’s more important, life being busy or your daughter cutting themselves?’

In the previous trailer Gemma revealed that her fiancé Rami caught her cutting herself 10 years ago, when they used to date.

Gemma also admitted she never wanted to kill herself, and would cut herself as a ‘coping mechanism’ to relieve pressure, while confessing she fears her self-harming could return. 

Gemma has known Rami for over ten years, having previously dated the businessman in 2011 before they reconnected in 2020. 

Honest: In the previous trailer Gemma revealed that her fiancé Rami caught her cutting herself 10 years ago, when they used to date

And in the documentary, the TV star reveals her fiancé caught her cutting herself 10 years ago, and sit to discuss this moment and the impact it had on them.

She explains: ‘It was never about you, it was never about any of that. It was to do with me, obviously I was going through something and the only way I could relieve the pressure was to cut myself.

‘I never wanted to kill myself, that never went through my head. It was like a coping mechanism for me. 

‘So you know, when I just obviously, suddenly got famous and then people were coming up to me every five minutes. The pressure, the build-up, I couldn’t express myself properly.’  

Looking back: Gemma has known Rami for over ten years, having previously dated the businessman in 2011 before they reconnected in 2020

Gemma also reveals to Rami that she fears returning to self-harm as they look to the future and the possibility of having a family.

She says: ‘In the back of my mind because obviously we do want to go on to, you know, have a baby and stuff. I feel very happy with you and very settled with you and I think always in the back of my mind, you think oh shit, is it going to come back?’

Looking back on her history of self-harm, which she struggled with for two decades, Gemma says: ‘I don’t know why I self-harmed, I don’t know where it came from. I don’t understand it.

‘This is why I’m making this documentary, I want to finally put it to bed… It’s going to be really tough at times, but I am ready to find out why I did it.’ 

She adds: ‘The public don’t know Gemma, they know ‘The GC’. Everyone sees me as this strong character. I’m actually a very soft, sensitive person, very few people get to see that side of me.

‘I first self-harmed when I was at school. It was just something I did in private for 20 years. I haven’t cut myself since my early 30s…

‘After my 30s I think I went onto a different sort of harm with bad partners, bad relationships with food, it’s all different types of self-harm.’  

Elsewhere in the documentary, Gemma visits a support group in Essex to hear other people’s experiences of self-harm. She also meets Caroline Harrow, co-founder and CEO of the charity Harmless which provides support to people who do, or might be at risk of, self-harm. 

After attending Harmless’ centre in Nottingham, Gemma says: ‘When you come to these centres no one’s getting judged, it’s like a sanctuary for people who self-harm…

‘It just made me realise that people are there to help and I just sort of like, at the same time, kick myself because I wish I’d been able to get that help years ago or been brave enough to ask for the help. I could have saved myself a lot of pain.’ 

For support on dealing with self-harm see mind.org.uk/selfharm or call Mind’s confidential Infoline on 0300 123 3393. For further help or advice, please visit: https://www.channel4.com/4viewers/help-support

Gemma Collins: Self Harm and Me airs on Channel 4 and All 4 on Wednesday 16th February at 9pm. 

Show: Gemma Collins: Self Harm and Me airs on Channel 4 and All 4 on Wednesday 16th February at 9pm