A nine-year-old girl who is preparing for her First Communion had her dreams of the perfect day shattered when her Catholic school barred her from wearing the all-white suit that she had specifically chosen for the special event.
Cady Mansell was left heartbroken when her school, St. John the Evangelist Parish in St. John, Indiana, learned about her highly anticipated outfit, and told her she would be uninvited to the communion if she came wearing the suit, which they claimed is in breach of dress code rules.
Her devastated mother Chris took to Facebook-based forum Pantsuit Nation to share her child’s grief, and was shocked by the overwhelming support from fellow users, which quickly made her post go viral with over 20,000 comments.
Power pose: Cady Mansell, nine, picked out this white suit to wear to her First Communion – only to be told by her Catholic school that she was banned from wearing it
Suited for the occasion: Cady’s mother Chris took to Facebook to share her daughter’s experience in a post that quickly went viral with over 20,000 comments
The mom shared Cady’s school audacious rescinded invitation in her Facebook post on October 10th revealing that the wardrobe guidelines were never made clear, and felt like a stab against Cady’s fashion choices.
‘My nine-year-old daughter attends a Catholic school and is supposed to be making her First Communion this Sunday. She has a love for suits and wears them often. Since there wasn’t initially a dress code given for the event, we assumed she could wear a suit. We went all out and made a weekend out of finding her the perfect outfit … one that makes her feel beautiful and confident,’ Chris wrote.
‘Unfortunately, her school and church heard about the suit and told us today, three days before the event, that my daughter is uninvited to attend First Communion as long as she plans on wearing a suit because it violates the dress code that was just released last week. My sweet girl is heartbroken,’ she added.
Chris revealed that Cady has loved suits since she was just four and that the duo had been planning the perfection communion outfit ever since August; they found a white pantsuit from Nordstrom and had the special look altered to fit the youngster like a glove.
‘Cady was really excited about the suit. We made a big deal about getting it, just as I do when I take my teenage daughter to get her prom dress. She was so proud of it,’ mom Chris told Yahoo.
Cady didn’t think twice about wearing a suit for her big day, after all the dress code released to the students on August 16th only mentioned that girls could not wear spaghetti straps and had to wear a white sweater over the straps.
On September 21, after learning about Cady’s fashion choice, the school released another dress code notice.
Cruel: Cady’s family was shattered when the church told them that she couldn’t participate in the event unless she sacrificed her beloved outfit – or took part in a communion by herself
Fresh starts! Cady and sister actually moved schools to a more accepting option after their old school made the decision to ban Cady’s white suit from communion
Soft smile! Cady’s mother says that her daughter is allowed to pick her own style options, and she encourages her to embrace her own look
‘It wasn’t until a week before [communion] that we were emailed the dress code that said girls must wear dresses. By then it was too late and too expensive. I thought we’re just going to go with it because what are they going to do?’ Chris said.
When the school principal asked to see Cady’s mom – who worked at the Catholic school as a teacher’s aide – she said she ‘never’ thought the meeting would be about her daughter’s choice of communion outfit.
In the meeting, however, she was told that the church pastor requested Cady go by the dress code for the communion, and that if she insisted on a suit she would have to take part in a separate ceremony after the official event, and would not be able to participate in the Mass, or sit alongside her peers, or even appear in the group photo.
‘The Mass is a big part of communion. This goes against everything [the pastor] teaches. I thought even more than that, that’s ridiculous — why would I be ashamed of my daughter? And that’s really the message they’re conveying,’ she explained to Yahoo!
The following day Chris’ husband took Cady to her First Communion practice where he got into a scuttle with the pastor who, the couple says, told him, ‘You’re raising your daughter wrong.’
‘She doesn’t have the mental development and maturity to make decisions like this. You’re doing her a disservice by not making her wear the dress. You’re the parent — she gets no say-so,’ Cady’s father revealed the pastor told him, much to his fury.
The pastor warned that if Cady arrived wearing her beloved suit, the family would have to leave the church – an ultimatum that Cady’s father had no problem taking.
Confusion: ‘Why can’t we just let them be? Can we just let a little girl wear a suit?’ Cady’s mom said of the school’s frustrating decision, revealing she gave up her job there after the incident
Support system: Cady’s father said that the church pastor told him, ‘You’re raising your daughter wrong’ and it was at that point that the family decided to move to a new church
Mom and me! Cady and mom prove to have a closer relationship, and the two are grateful for the online outpour of support for Cady and family
‘I think we’re already leaving your church,’ he said in response, according to his wife.
Now Chris is taking to Facebook to share her story and to stand proudly behind her daughter’s choices.
‘Excluding children from their peers over a pair of pants is not how you make lifelong Catholics. Making children feel bad about being different is how you create bullies, addicts, suicide victims,’ she declared in picture caption on Facebook.
‘I refuse to be a part of it. My daughter, her sisters, my family, will not forget this. You think this girl is going to grow up and join a Catholic church? This kind of garbage is why people leave Catholicism and never look back,’ she added.
She also shares that she’s overwhelmed with how viral the story has become and is grateful for the outpour of support. However to invasive comments she pleads that story-followers just let her children be.
‘Since the story came out, a lot of people think she’s trans. We don’t know if she is. She’s nine, and the only thing she identifies herself as is a Jedi and a storm trooper! Why can’t we just let them be? Can we just let a little girl wear a suit?’ she wrote.
As for Cady, she’s just excited to be viral for the time being.
‘First of all Cady is jazzed to be internet famous, if even for one day. But seriously, I read her a few beautiful messages from people all over the country and she is floored that strangers would be so interested in her journey and love her so much,’ mom Chris shared on Facebook.