British backpacker Grace Millane belonged to BDSM dating sites and asked a former partner to choke her in bed, a jury heard today at the start of the defence for a man accused of murdering her during rough sex.
A statement from Grace’s ex-boyfriend given to police revealed he and the 22-year-old university graduate from Essex used a system of safe words and signals to make sure she was never in danger during the BDSM sessions.
The statement was read to the jury on Monday at the trial of a 27-year-old New Zealand man accused of strangling Grace to death at the end of a Tinder date.
British backpacker Grace Millane (pictured), 22, belonged to two BDSM dating sites and asked a former partner to choke her during rough sex, a jury heard today
The trial also heard statements today from police that they had traced messages sent from Grace on two BDSM dating sites, called Whiplr (shown above) and FetLife
Grace had been active on the site just an hour before meeting the defendant outside the SkyCity casino in central Auckland, according to data retrieved from Whiplr (file image)
The defendant, who also cannot be named for legal reasons, claims Grace died accidentally during consensual sex at his apartment in Auckland last December, and insists she asked him to put his hands on her neck during intercourse.
The trial also heard statements today from police that they had traced messages sent from Grace on two BDSM dating sites, called Whiplr and FetLife.
Grace had been active on the site just an hour before meeting the defendant outside the SkyCity casino in central Auckland, according to data retrieved from Whiplr.
In his statement read today, her former partner said he and Grace had researched how to practice choking safely.
‘When we researched it we knew the word was asphyxiation,’ he told police. ‘Grace and I discussed keeping hands wide and on the side of the neck, never on the front.
The defendant is pictured returning to the hotel with the suitcase he bought after Grace died
The trial also heard statements today from police that they had traced messages sent from Grace on two BDSM dating sites, called Whiplr and FetLife
‘Grace and I would have a safe word most of the time which we had discussed, something like “turtle” or something ridiculous. Grace and I used a tapping practice too. If Grace tapped me three times then it would stop.
‘Grace would tap out maybe one in four times.
‘Grace would be sure to do this and I trusted that anytime it was too much for Grace she would do this. Grace and I were careful to discuss not only the physical but the psychological aspects to practicing BDSM.’
The jury was also read a statement from one of Grace’s friends, who said the 22-year-old ‘enjoyed her partner to put his hands around her neck’.
‘I can’t really remember the exact words used but it was something like that, said in a jokey way as we talked about sex with our partners,’ she told New Zealand police.
‘Grace referred to enjoying a bit of rough sex sometimes when you’re having one of those nights when you’re really, really attracted to one another or when you were particularly turned on.
CCTV shows the defendant inside CityLife hotel in New Zealand with the suitcase loaded onto a luggage trolley – with Grace’s body stuffed inside
‘I had the impression that it was normally regular sex but maybe rougher when she was more turned on.’
But opening the defence, barrister Ron Mansfield told the jury: ‘All the evidence shows that Miss Millane was a loving, bright, intelligent young woman and she was.
‘That is her reputation and that should be her reputation and her memory at the start of this trial and at the conclusion if it.
‘The fact that we need to discuss with you what she liked to do in the bedroom should have no impact on he reputation at all.’
But, he said: ‘It’s important that we are fully informed. It’s not the time for embarrassment or immaturity.
‘If this couple engaged in consensual sexual activity which included pressure being applied to her neck with her consent and that went wrong, that is not murder
Shocking pictures played to the jury today reveal the moment police discovered the body of murdered British backpacker Grace Millane dumped in this muddy hole in the ground
‘Death through this mechanism may be thankfully be rare but it does happen and sadly it happened here.’
Mr Mansfield said the defendant admits Grace died from pressure he placed on her neck but said expert evidence was consistent with his account that it was consensual, not violent.
In a police interview, the trial heard last week, he said he only realised Grace was dead when he found her lying on the floor but admits then cramming her body into a suitcase which he buried in a shallow grave in the woods.
Mr Mansfield said his failure to call for help, disposal of Grace’s body and lies to police were due to panic.
‘He may have thought he wouldn’t be believed,’ Mr Mansfield told the jury, ‘but don’t prove him right.’ The trial continues.