HARRY COLE: Civil servants take time out of coronavirus duties to draw up ‘risk assessment’ of a dog

Taking time out from emergency coronavirus duties, fretful civil servants have drawn up a two-page ‘risk assessment’ for another pressing health-and-safety issue: the arrival of a dog – possibly to accompany a blind visitor – at a Government department.

Thankfully, there is a ‘low chance of death or life-changing injury’ as a result of the pet’s visit, according to the ultra-cautious mandarins at the Department for International Trade.

However, control measures have been put in place in case of long-term ‘psychological injury caused by accidental harm of dog or dog property’. 

Further actions were ordered, with ‘email reassurance to staff that they will not be held responsible’. 

Other risks included ‘slips and falls on dog or dog property’, meaning the visiting canine will be banned from bringing its favourite toys to Westminster.

‘Dog-causing injury through biting’ is also deemed a headache, along with any staff phobias.

Of course, there is the sensitive issue, too, of dog waste, with the jittery pen-pushers emailing yet another warning not to touch any unwelcome gifts left on the ministerial carpet. 

On the day of the visit, a further email must be sent to staff to remind them of the dog’s presence. Barking!

Jeremy Corbyn screams that the NHS is not for sale, but that has not stopped his son cashing in on the brand. 

Last month I revealed Tommy Corbyn, 25, was resurrecting his rocky career as an entrepreneur after his cannabis business, the National Hemp Service, went up in smoke with debts of £100,000. 

A new firm was launched and now Companies House documents show it has revived the NHS acronym. 

The venture will also sell products containing the non-psychoactive components of cannabis such as cannabidiol (CBD). 

But is Corbyn Cannabis Inc equally doomed? The Food Standards Agency is considering a ban on CBD-derived products.

Jeremy Corbyn screams that the NHS is not for sale, but that has not stopped his son (above) cashing in on the brand

Awkward scenes at the UK Picture Editors’ Guild Awards as Labour MP Jess Phillips tore into Boris Johnson for giving Andy Parsons a job as his personal snapper. 

She appeared not to know the grumpy-looking photographer was in the audience as she branded him a ‘shill’ (Brummie-speak for trickster). 

What price freedom? Well, £902 to be exact. That’s how much I hear it cost to transport the 599-page EU Withdrawal Agreement from Brussels to London for Boris Johnson to sign and then be sent back again in January. 

The weighty tome took the Eurostar and even hitched a ride in a ministerial limo to the station. 

Has Lindsay lost his bite?

Westminster’s enfant terrible blogger Guido Fawkes was hauled over the coals last week after publishing ‘ground zero’ snaps of the sealed office of virus-hit Minister Nadine Dorries. 

Commons bosses are jumpy about pictures taken on the parliamentary estate, and the site’s editor Paul Staines was summoned for a dressing-down from Speaker Sir Lindsay Hoyle.

Warned that he would have his access pass removed if he did it again, Staines gently pointed out he had no such accreditation. 

It seems Hoyle, who presented a trophy at Crufts last weekend, above left, has a bark worse than his bite… 

Commons bosses are jumpy about pictures taken on the parliamentary estate, and the site’s editor Paul Staines was summoned for a dressing-down from Speaker Sir Lindsay Hoyle, pictured above