Can we really be only on Week Two of the Tory leadership run-off?
It feels as though we’ve learned more about Boris Johnson and Jeremy Hunt over the past few days than is entirely healthy.
We know Mr Hunt is known to his wife as ‘Big Rice’. We know Boris likes making little cardboard buses with smiley faces painted on the side. We even know how rarely the former London Mayor changes his socks.
And just to think, we have another three weeks of this.
Yesterday, Mr Hunt laid out his not-unimportant plans to deal with Brexit inside think-tank Policy Exchange’s sweltering offices off Parliament Square.
Before his arrival, we were warned the fire alarm was about to go off. ‘It’s just a test so please don’t leave,’ implored a nervy bag carrier from Team Hunt.
Liam Fox was tasked with the introductions. No word on what job Foxy hopes to land should Mr Hunt make it to Downing Street but the International Trade Secretary’s treacle hose was turned up to full power.
Conservative party leadership contender Jeremy Hunt speaking about his Brexit plan yesterday
‘The man who will deliver for Britain,’ was how he welcomed the Foreign Secretary to the stage.
Mr Hunt insisted he’d been having fun on his baby-kissing tour of the country. Personally, I thought he appeared a little worn. His skin looked pallid. Even those eyebrows of his, normally forever hopping up and down with startled enthusiasm, had lost their spring.
First up, a joke. ‘As an entrepreneur… there’s a new line for you this morning,’ the man who can’t stop telling us he was once an ‘entrepreneur’ chuckled.
Not a sidesplitter, admittedly, but with Mr Hunt you take whatever laughs you can. Then it was on to the raw meat of his Brexit plans.
He confirmed that he was determined to test Brussels’ nerve by preparing for the UK to leave on October 31 without a deal.
He would seek an improvement on Theresa May’s failed withdrawal agreement but if no headway is made by September 30, then phone lines to Barnier, Juncker et al will be severed. Listening on, Margot James (Stourbridge), who said recently she would do ‘whatever it takes’ to avoid a No Deal Brexit, wore a stare worthy of a Madame Tussauds waxwork.
Boris Johnson enjoys a drink as he meets customers during a visit to Polhill Garden Centre yesterday
There would be no summer hols for civil servants, Mr Hunt continued. All August leave for government departments would be cancelled unless they produced a signed chit from the relevant permanent secretary confirming their Brexit homework was up to speed.
At THIS point, I’m fairly sure I heard the collective sound of waste-paper baskets being booted across office floors along Whitehall.
Mr Hunt also wants to set up a No Deal taskforce, with similar powers to the Government’s emergency committee Cobra.
Action stations! It felt like one of those scenes in a disaster movies when the President starts announcing contingency plans as an asteroid hurtles towards Earth.
Naturally, there were some pops at Boris. The chance of No Deal was not a million to one, as Boris recently opined. ‘I have laid out my plans, where are his?’ Mr Hunt said.
‘Now here’s the really fun bit,’ he drawled as questions went to the floor. Someone asked him if he had the personality to be prime minister.
Mr Hunt’s cheerleaders went into overdrive. ‘Yes, of course,’ yelped Vicky Ford (Chelmsford).
‘People don’t want a showman, they want a statesman,’ said Mr Hunt unshowily. There was some particularly enthusiastic clapping here from Alistair Burt (North East Bedfordshire) who was practically leaping up and down in his seat.
For guidance, Mr Burt, who resigned as a minister in the Foreign Office, pines for a return like an abandoned puppy.
Health Secretary Matt Hancock arriving for a cabinet meeting at 10 Downing Street last month. Could he have dropped his opposition to No Deal Brexit in return for the keys to Number 11?
Boris was a great guy and immensely talented, Mr Hunt fibbed. But he was frit. Further whoops.
‘It’s time for some mojo from BoJo,’ he then declared. He’d already showcased this quip on BBC1’s Andrew Marr Show the day before but he felt it bore repetition.
Conservative Party members receive their ballot papers this weekend. Why this contest needs to drag on for another fortnight after that is a mystery.
Could Hancock get the keys to No 11?
Health Secretary Matt Hancock dropped his opposition to Boris Johnson’s stance on Brexit and business yesterday, amid mounting speculation he could be appointed as his Chancellor.
Mr Hancock, once a prominent Remainer, was an outspoken critic of Mr Johnson during his own campaign to lead the Conservative Party.
In May, he savaged Mr Johnson over his notorious ‘f*** business’ jibe, saying the party should be ‘backing business not bashing business’. He added: ‘To the people who say ‘f*** business’, I say ‘f***, f*** business’.’
But yesterday, he appeared to have had a dramatic change of heart, saying it was time to ‘look forward in life’ rather than focus on Mr Johnson’s past comments.
Asked about Mr Johnson’s previous attack on business, he told the BBC: ‘He’s an extraordinary communicator. He communicates more than almost anybody.’
Corbynista plot to oust Johnson from his seat
Hard-left supporters of Jeremy Corbyn will launch a fresh bid to oust Boris Johnson at the next election if he becomes prime minister.
Momentum, which helped propel Mr Corbyn to the Labour leadership and has more than 40,000 members, intends to flood Mr Johnson’s Uxbridge and South Ruislip seat with activists. The group also plans to target swing voters with a social media campaign.
At the last election, Mr Johnson saw his majority cut in half to just over 5,000 votes. If he defeats Jeremy Hunt, he would have the smallest majority of any British PM since Ramsay MacDonald in 1924.
Becky Boumelha, a member of Momentum’s national coordinating group, told The Independent website: ‘We’re launching a campaign to make sure Johnson goes down in history as the first sitting prime minister to lose his seat.’