Hollywood’s silver vixens: How middle-aged actresses have shaken off ‘cougar’ jibes to become the hottest sex symbols in film as they romp with younger men

It’s long been a sad truth in Hollywood that as soon as women reach middle-age, the number of roles open to them seems to decline.

But according to an expert, a slate of new films which feature women having romances with younger men, could spell the end of this tradition.

And these films also reflect the growing cultural acceptance of age-gap relationships where the woman is the senior partner, as well as showcasing more diverse experiences within relationships and sex, according to Hope Flynn, founder of female empowerment community and platform FeedMeFemale.

Among these flicks is The Idea Of You, which debuted on Amazon Prime earlier this year, and is based on Robinne Lee’s book of the same name. Starring Anne Hathaway, 41, and Nicholas Galitzine, 29, the steamy age-gap movie has received a flurry of positive reviews from viewers.  

In the film, Anne’s character Solène, 40, sparks up a romance with boyband member Hayes Campbell, 24, played by Nicholas Galitzine. She meets the musician when talking her teenage daughter  Izzy, played by Ella Rubin, 22, to Coachella at the suggestion of her ex-husband Daniel, played by Reid Scott, 46.

One of the multiple recent films featuring a relationship between a woman and much younger man is The Idea of You, available on Amazon Prime Video (pictured L-R: Nicholas Galitzine and Anne Hathaway in a scene from the movie)

Laura Dern stars in Netflix romance Lonely Planet, in which she plays a novelist who falls in love with a much younger man, played by Liam Hemsworth (both seen in the film)

Laura Dern stars in Netflix romance Lonely Planet, in which she plays a novelist who falls in love with a much younger man, played by Liam Hemsworth (both seen in the film)

Flynn told FEMAIL that the emergence of this group of films suggests that ‘age-gap relationships’ are no longer just limited to older men and younger women, ‘as we are seeing a rise in relationships that don’t follow traditional “age rules”.’ 

She added: ‘Gone are the days of the “cougar”, as these relationships are becoming more and more culturally accepted by society and our attitudes towards them have changed.’ 

This point of view was reflected by much of the viewer feedback of the film, which scored 92 per cent on movie rating website Rotten Tomatoes – with fans praising Hathaway’s outstanding performance, as well as the sizzling chemistry between the couple.

Reflecting the growing acceptance of these relationships, it was not the once-shocking premise of an older woman and younger man getting together that most reviewers focused on – rather it was the quality of the drama and the performances.

One viewer wrote: ‘Hathaway and Galitizine make their characters’ drama fresh and sexy as hell, a fact enhanced by a strong script that treats its characters like people.’

Meanwhile, another Rotten Tomatoes user added: ‘Primarily works for a simple reason: Anne Hathaway is exceptionally great at romcoms.’

Taking to X (formerly Twitter) another fan wrote: ‘Anne Hathaway can do no wrong in The Idea Of You. From her character’s sexually liberated Essex Hotel grown and sexy pop up romp, debilitating emotional breakdown over her husband’s infidelity and betrayal, to her viral mortified mom walk of shame at her daughter’s summer camp, Anne ticks all the boxes on this very real, rejuvenated art dealer slash Coachella mom scenario.

‘The Idea Of You while wrapped in a sugary boy band come up package of dance moves and predictable beats, turns the tables on something that’s still taboo, older women with younger adult men and it seems to still make some men mad. 

Nicole Kidman and Zac Efron play a couple with a two-decade age-gap in Netflix's romantic comedy A Family Affair, released earlier this year (seen in a scene from the film)

Nicole Kidman and Zac Efron play a couple with a two-decade age-gap in Netflix’s romantic comedy A Family Affair, released earlier this year (seen in a scene from the film)

‘If you want to watch two glamorous, sexy, chemistry filled leads navigate real life awkward scenarios with everyone’s eyeballs raging with judgement, make sure to stream it on Prime Video’.

And another added: ‘While the premise is fun and will leave you giddy, it’s also about embracing your true self in the very best way. Ah! Couldn’t stop smiling.’ 

Explaining what may be behind the rise of couples where the woman is the older partner, Flynn said: ‘Over the years women have become more and more independent, we are more educated than ever, we can pay our own bills and all of these things contribute to allowing older women to pursue relationships with younger guys as they no longer have to be dependent on a man. 

‘With women being more empowered than ever, this also allows us to enter relationships of our choice without fear of judgement about what others might think. 

‘Younger guys are also increasingly attracted to the independence and maturity that older women may have to offer. This can make for a good relationship as younger men nowadays have less pressure to be the sole provider within a relationship.’

She also noted that seeing more celebrities – such as Cher and Madonna – dating younger men, and seeing these kind of relationships publicised in the media, also contributes to making them more accepted.

A further recent film starring an age-gap relationship is Netflix’s romantic comedy A Family Affair, which was released earlier this Summer.

Nicole Kidman, 57, plays 50-year-old Brooke, while 36-year-old Zac Efron plays her much-younger love interest, Chris – the former boss of Brooke’s daughter Zara (Joey King), 24.

While Chris’ exact age in the film isn’t totally clear, it’s revealed they are around two decades apart in age – similar to the actors’ age gap in real life.

According to an IMDB synopsis of the movie: ‘An unexpected romance triggers comic consequences for a young woman, her mother, and her boss, grappling with the complications of love, sex, and identity.’ 

Nicole Kidman is the star of another age-gap relationship which is set for release in the UK at the beginning of 2025 - Babygirl (seen in the film alongside co-star Harris Dickinson)

Nicole Kidman is the star of another age-gap relationship which is set for release in the UK at the beginning of 2025 – Babygirl (seen in the film alongside co-star Harris Dickinson)

Speaking about the flick to People magazine, Kidman described the script, which was penned by Carrie Solomon and directed by Richard LaGravenese as a ‘breath of fresh air’. 

She said: ‘We’ve had it from way back with older men and younger women, that’s just always been the norm – it’s okay, it’s completely acceptable[…]The problem is we’ve not had the equivalent from all different viewpoints, with women telling the stories.’

Kidman also noted that it is essential to have ‘game men’ to tell these kinds of stories, saying Zac ‘came in and makes the film because he was like, “I’m here to have fun, to play, and to very much be a part of this and be there for you,” for both Joey and I.’

While the film did not receive as positive a reception as The Idea of You, Deadline’s Pete Hammond described the chemistry between Kidman and Efron as the movie’s highlight.

He added: ‘[Audiences] instantly believe the chemistry despite the 21-year age difference between the two stars.’

In a move away from the characteristic male gaze of Hollywood films, A Family Affair was praised by film critic Corrina Antrobus, who described is as a ‘modern romcom’.

She described it as delivering a ‘sliver of justice to films that haven’t exactly been kind to the portrayal of motherhood’. 

Antrobus added: ‘It has a representation of a mother as a woman with unapologetic needs, with sexual needs that sees a woman navigate what I think is a very genuine rite of passage in accepting that it’s now time to serve herself.’

Also released this Summer was Netflix’s Lonely Planet, a romance starring Laura Dern, 57, as a reclusive novelist who travels to a writer’s retreat in Morocco to try and unlock her writer’s block. While there, her character Katherine enjoys a life-changing relationship with younger man Owen, played by Liam Hemsworth, 34.

Discussing what attracted her to the movie, which was directed by Susannah Grant, Oscar-winner Dern said: ‘What drew me to the story was the exploration of identity and self-worth within relationships, especially in a world as intellectually charged as the literary scene.

The Idea of You, which premiered on Amazon Prime on May 2, received a positive response from viewers, who enjoyed the sizzling chemistry between the two leads

The Idea of You, which premiered on Amazon Prime on May 2, received a positive response from viewers, who enjoyed the sizzling chemistry between the two leads

‘The dynamic between the younger man and the older, established writer intrigued me because it’s not just about romance – it’s about finding someone who truly sees and understands you, which is something deeply human and relatable.’

Commenting on this dynamic, relationship expert Hope Flynn told FEMAIL that these films are ‘certainly shifting Hollywood’s usual storylines and flipping the typical Hollywood dynamic where older men are paired with younger women’. 

She added: ‘This allows for cool new narratives and power balances being displayed on screen and also creates more opportunities for older actresses.’ 

A somewhat grittier film set to join these releases, which also stars Nicole Kidman, is Babygirl, which was screened at the Venice Film Festival and Toronto Film Festival this year. It is set to have its full theatrical release at the end of 2024 in the States, and beginning of 2025 in the UK.

In the picture, which is written and directed by Dutch filmmaker Halina Reijn, Kidman’s character Romy, a high-flying New York CEO, risks her staid marriage to a theatre director (played by Antonio Banderas) by engaging in a steamy affair with a young intern Samuel (portrayed by Harris Dickinson).

The film, described as an erotic thriller, has already started generating a lot of buzz – and, like A Family Affair, it puts emphasis on female pleasure – so much so that Kidman described the role as her most ‘exposing’ to date.

Its writer and director Reijn told Vanity Fair that the one thing they had definitely accomplished was making a ‘really hot movie’, adding (with a smile) that while she can’t say whether it is good or bad – something that is up to viewers to decide – she is ‘sure’ it is erotic.

In an explicit scene, Kidman’s character is seen masturbating after having unfulfilling sex with her husband. For Reijn, it was important to see the character have a realistic orgasm. She told Vanity Fair: ‘In movies, you still so often see a woman have an orgasm onscreen that is anatomically not possible.’

Babygirl director Halina Reijn (pictured at the Venice Film Festival this year, accepting an award on behalf of leading lady Nicole Kidman) said the team had made a 'really hot movie'

Babygirl director Halina Reijn (pictured at the Venice Film Festival this year, accepting an award on behalf of leading lady Nicole Kidman) said the team had made a ‘really hot movie’

When Romy meets her new intern Samuel, who makes his attraction to her clear, the two embark on an affair described by Reijn as showing an ‘x-ray’ of kink, with the couple engaging in exploration.

She said: ‘They try to play these different, fun roles with each other, but they can also be scary and embarrassing. We don’t show this glossy fantasy; it’s actually an attempt to show the human side of all of that. In my eyes, it’s way more hot because it’s not just a perfect end result – which is often how it goes in the bedroom.’

During a press conference for the film, Kidman described how she tackled playing such an explicit role, in which her character willingly undergoes what has been described as ‘psycho-sexual torment’. Critics have described the actress as ‘brave’ for showcasing female pleasure.

‘I approach everything ­artistically, so I don’t think of the minutiae, just how do I give over to this character fully without censoring my director,’ she said.

Her role and performance in the film is reflective of ‘changes in modern sex and relationships’, according to Flynn, who explained that ‘women now have more autonomy and control over their bodies and their desires’. 

She added: ‘Films are showing this shift because women in real life feel empowered to pursue exactly what they want in relationships.

‘The focus is no longer just on a man’s pleasure, we are seeing more mutual satisfaction and more communication around consent taking place in these new films which is great.

‘It’s good that Hollywood is showcasing more diverse experiences within relationships and sex. We’re moving in a direction of more inclusivity and equality in relationships so it’s nice to see this being reflected on the big screen.’ 

In addition to the increasing prevalence of movies showcasing older women having relationships with younger men, an interesting point to note about this new generation of films is that the leading ladies and men are close in age to their onscreen counterparts. 

 This marks a departure from previous films showcasing age-gap relationships when a woman is older. 

For example, the classic movie of the genre is 1967’s The Graduate, in which a young graduate called Benjamin – played by Dustin Hoffman – has an affair with older woman Mrs. Robinson, played by Anne Bancroft.

While Benjamin’s age in the film was 21, the actor’s actual age was 29.  Meanwhile, Anne Bancroft was 35 – some 10 years or so younger than the age of the character she was playing.

Bancroft’s deftly nuanced, and highly reviewed, performance makes her perfect in the role – yet casting an actress so much younger than the character prompts questions about how ageing in women is viewed in Hollywood.

It’s common in films for older actors to be paired with much younger actresses – for example, when Wolf of Wall Street started filming, its leading man Leonardo DiCaprio was 40-years-old, while his co-star Margot Robbie was just 22.

Their real-life counterparts – Jordan Belfort and Nadine Macaluso (who did meet when Nadine was 22) are just six years apart in age.

The casting of older actresses in these new movies marks a change in direction for Hollywood. In what could be described as a classic older woman age-gap relationship movie, The Graduate, star Anne Bancroft was some 10 years younger than her character - and her co-star Dustin Hoffmann was older. There was just six years age difference between the two performers (both seen in a scene from the flick)

The casting of older actresses in these new movies marks a change in direction for Hollywood. In what could be described as a classic older woman age-gap relationship movie, The Graduate, star Anne Bancroft was some 10 years younger than her character – and her co-star Dustin Hoffmann was older. There was just six years age difference between the two performers (both seen in a scene from the flick)

However, according to Dr Jonathan Wroot, Senior Lecturer and Programme Leader for BA Film Studies, at the University of Greenwich, while films starring older actresses appear to be a current trend, he asked ‘is it anything new?’.

Dr Wroot continued: ‘Outside of these films, Michelle Pfeiffer has been appearing in Marvel films, and Demi Moore is soon to be seen in the glitzy body-horror film, The Substance.

‘I personally think this cycle of older female actors in romantic leading roles perhaps says more about their celebrity status and personae, more than a supposed current trend. Let’s not forget that Elizabeth Taylor, Joan Collins, Sophia Loren, and many other famous female stars, have acted well into their later years.’

However, Flynn sees the casting in this recent slate of films as a positive change, saying: ‘Traditionally, romantic roles have always gone to younger actresses – and women who were 30+ didn’t even get a look in or were sidelined into playing supporting roles such as the mum or the older sister.

‘The more we document and make relationships between older women and younger men visible, the more demand there will be for actresses in their 40s, 50s etc. This change gives older actresses like Nicole Kidman and Anne Hathaway the opportunity for more leading roles.

‘This “trend” also helps us to embrace the idea that women don’t lose their value or attractiveness with age and it’s nice to see this being reflected in Hollywood.’

Flynn concluded: ‘Hollywood still has a long way to go in terms of casting but it’s a step in the right direction of representing older women. 

‘And with roles such as Nicole Kidman’s in Babygirl being created with her specifically in mind, this just shows you that there is very much an interest in “older” actresses and seeing that they contribute massive value to our screens.’ 



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