Childbirth and the first few weeks with your baby are meant to be the most magical moments for a new mother.
But Prisha Mosley, 26, ‘feels like a monster’.
Her breasts were cut off at 18 after she was diagnosed with gender dysphoria, meaning she cannot feed her new son naturally.
In fact, her entire chest area is numb, robbing her of the sensation of cradling her son — who she has not named publicly — and forming that essential skin-to-skin contact that helps fuel the mother-baby bond.
Ms Mosley was born female. But the hormone drugs she was prescribed as a teen blocked her natural puberty and put her at risk of being sterilized indefinitely.
To her amazement, she became pregnant with her son last year. But the drugs stunted the growth of her hips and vagina, making them dangerously narrow for childbirth.
Her son’s shoulders became stuck in the birth canal and Ms Mosley had to undergo an emergency C-section to get the baby out safely.
Prisha Mosley, 26, beams with joy as she cradles her baby boy
Ms Mosley, who is also an ambassador for the Independent Women’s Forum, told DailyMail.com: ‘I had to take this medication to stop my body producing milk that also suppresses a hormone linked to bonding with my baby.
‘It makes me feel like a monster, it makes me feel like a bad person. But I didn’t have a choice.’
Ms Mosley is one of a growing number of so-called detransitioners, those who transitioned to a different gender but then returned to their original one.
During her childhood, she struggled with mental health issues and claims doctors told her that transitioning to be a boy would solve her problems.
But nearly a decade later, Ms Mosley changed her mind and decided to detransition — saying what she had really needed was therapy all along.
Now, she is dealing with the repercussions of the hormone therapy and surgery that have irrevocably changed her body, put her son’s life at risk during birth and severely limited the way she can care for him as a new mom.
She is pictured above holding her son, who has not been named. She says her transition is affecting not only her, but also her now two-month-old boy
In an interview with this website, Ms Mosley revealed how her now two-month-old boy could have suffocated during birth.
She also said how after birth she was deprived of the first crucial skin-to-skin moments between mom and newborn that bond them because the top surgery had left her chest numb and left her unable to breastfeed.
Ms Mosley said: ‘I feel nothing there. The nerves were completely severed.’
She added previously: ‘I know he’ll feel me, but my chest isn’t soft and pillowy the way it’s supposed to be. And when he’s there, I won’t feel anything.
‘I try not to but I think a lot about the fact that if I held my baby or if I set myself on fire, it would feel like the same exact thing. Nothing.’
The World Health Organization recommends skin-to-skin contact between mother and baby as soon as possible after birth and for eight to 24 hours per day thereafter.
Previous studies have shown that it boosts the survival chances for babies with a low birthweight or who were preterm, and suggest that it helps the mother and infant bond with each other.
The breast tissue that does remain in Ms Mosley has swelled with milk since the birth, making her chest appear like it has small rocks underneath it.
In places, the swelling is so severe that scars have opened up, revealing raw skin underneath.
Ms Mosley is pictured above in the hospital after giving birth via C-section. It was not possible for her to have a vaginal delivery because of the shape of her hips
Mosley, pictured left after the testosterone started causing her to grow facial hair and right as she was trying on men’s clothing
Ms Mosley gave birth to her son June 3, 2024, and he weighed 7lbs 5oz.
He was scheduled to be delivered in early June but Ms Mosley went into labor early and was rushed to the hospital.
She was in labor for four hours before doctors ordered a C-section, saying her son’s head was not in the proper position and that without it, he would have suffocated.
The C-section had been pre-planned because of her smaller hips, but was meant to take place a day later.
Ms Mosley was anorexic from the age of 12 years, meaning her hip bones had not developed and widened properly before she started to take testosterone injections — which could have further disrupted her growth.
Her vagina has also atrophied as a result of the testosterone injections, or shrunk, and is now ‘small’ leaving her struggling to use normal tampons. There were concerns over whether it could have also accommodated a baby.
The female pelvis reaches its full shape to accommodate a child between the ages of 25 and 30 — though this may be disrupted by gender-affirming care, which messes with hormones and disrupts development.
The University of California, San Francisco, says online that testosterone from masculinizing hormone therapy can cause fat to shift from the hips and thighs to the abdomen.
The institute also said that those who start the therapy in their late teens or early twenties may see subtle changes in bone structure in their face, suggesting the hormones can also cause changes to the pelvic bone.
Because so few people have detransitioned, there is limited conclusive evidence as to what starting and stopping testosterone does to the female body.
Ms Mosley told DailyMail.com her baby was ‘sick’ when he came out and was coughing excessively because his lungs were full of amniotic fluid.
During natural childbirth, this is normally forced out by the contractions of the uterus which compress the babies chest.
Because the new mom did not have breasts, she could not feed her newborn and the baby refused to drink formula milk, repeatedly throwing it up.
It was 24 hours before the panicked new parents were able to secure donated breast milk.
Doctors recommend beginning breastfeeding as soon as a baby is born to help with bonding between mother and baby and to stimulate milk production.
Ms Mosley’s remaining breast tissue became swollen after birth as her body naturally tried to feed her baby.
But the tissue is not connected to her nipples, which she described as decorative, meaning there was no way to get the milk to him.
She said: ‘I had milk that I couldn’t give to my baby that came every time he cried and screamed, that was trapped under scar tissue.
‘And it is the worst pain I’ve ever experienced in my life. I could see [the swelling] with my own eyes, and my boyfriend could see it, and it was so bad, it was like rocks under my skin. And some of my scars tore and there was dark red under them.’
Her little boy is now being fed on a combination of formula and breast milk donations.
Ms Mosley said that while she understands why some women only use formula, she was upset that she was not able to make this decision for her own child.
Her son now also has to use a pacifier to strengthen the muscles in his jaw, which usually comes from suckling during breast feeding.
She also spoke about the heartbreak of not feeling her son when he was pressed against her chest because of the top surgery, which she said damaged her nerves. The medication she took to stop milk production, called cabergoline, also numbs the chest.
‘Last night, I kept pressing my fingers in really hard into my chest, I eventually did it so hard that it hurt my rib bones,’ she said.
‘But I didn’t know I was doing it. I feel nothing.’
Doctors say it is essential to have skin-to-skin contact after delivering a baby, which is scientifically proven to boost bonding between mother and child.
Mosley bitterly regrets having both her breasts removed when she turned 18
Ms Mosley also has higher testosterone levels than normal for a woman, which she believes is linked to her gender treatments when she was younger.
There are concerns that these could have affected her son’s development, although this has not been substantiated. Ms Mosley said he is a healthy and happy baby.
For female babies, if a mother has high testosterone levels, studies suggest this may raise their risk of polycystic ovarian syndrome (PCOS).
Ms Mosley suffers from borderline personality disorder, a mental health disorder that leads to instability with moods, behaviors and self-image.
She decided she wanted to become a boy at age 16 years, when her name was Abigail, after struggling with her emotions for years.
It took her about a decade to find a therapist willing to work with someone with her disorder, but only two years for her to achieve a gender transition — and switch her name to Charlie.
She was put on masculinizing hormone therapy, which pumped her body full of testosterone at age 17 years — causing the appearance of facial and body hair and for her voice to deepen.
And shortly after turning 18 years old, she was then approved for her breasts to be removed in order to masculinize her chest.
She moved to Florida to live with a friend who had transitioned, but after a couple of years began to realize that she hadn’t needed to transition at all.
It was only when she started to get dialectical behavior therapy that she began to unpack what had happened, with this therapy focusing on talking through emotions to help those who experience then very intensely.
Estimates suggest there are 300,000 children aged 13 to 17 years old in the US who identify as transgender.
Many states have now blocked these youngsters from treatments like puberty blockers and hormone therapies — amid concerns over youngsters making irreversible decisions about their bodies.
In June 2022, Ms Mosley moved to Michigan to start a new job — which was where she met her now boyfriend.
The pair were unsure whether she could get pregnant because of the gender-affirming care she had received, and had not planned to have a child.
But after she started taking birth control to bring her estrogen and progesterone — the hormones involved in the menstrual cycle — back up, she unexpectedly became pregnant.
Prisha Mosley, now 24, is suing the clinicians who put her on cross-sex hormones
Mosley suffered from mental health problems before seeking answers in transgender ideology
Ms Mosley first revealed her pregnancy journey as part of the Independent Women’s Forum series called Identity Crisis.
She said the pregnancy was extremely hard, and that she was constantly nauseous and throwing up — which she blamed on a shift in hormones.
The Mayo Clinic says that early in pregnancy changes in hormone levels can cause morning sickness.
It is possible that because Ms Mosley already had too much testosterone due to gender-affirming care, she felt this much more intensely.
Her morning sickness started in week nine, and then continued for every day and night until the birth. On the operating table for the C-section, she said she vomited 20 times.
She also had to take several drugs during the pregnancy, like the hormone progesterone, because the gender-affirming care had ‘ruined’ her endocrine system.
Ms Mosley — who is an ambassador for the Independent Women’s Forum — is currently involved in a lawsuit against the doctors and health organizations that administered her gender-affirming care in North Carolina.
In the suit, she accuses them of fraud and civil conspiracy among others. Her case, filed in July 2023, has now been allowed to proceed by a court judge.
Revealing why she is speaking out, Ms Mosley said: ‘I don’t like doing this and I am not having fun, but I know I am not alone.
‘It just hurts so bad to know that other people feel like this and they can’t do anything. That’s why we are on the phone. It’s for them.’
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Read more at DailyMail.co.uk