A New York-based psychotherapist has revealed how she uses lucid dreaming to process the grief of losing her father.
Attiya Awadallah told DailyMail.com: ‘When my father passed away suddenly in 2017, I never expected to see him again,’ she said.
‘But through lucid dreaming, I’ve had multiple encounters with him that felt as real as life itself. In one dream, he was fixing the water heater in the kitchen, and I was helping him by holding a flashlight—something that could have easily happened when he was alive.
‘It felt so real, almost like I was right there with him, just doing something ordinary together.’
Awadallah taught herself to be able to manifest the interactions – and she encourages others to do so if they too are struggling with the loss of a loved one.
Each night, as she tried to drift off, she would keep playing happy scenarios involving her father in her head. This ‘rehearsal’ primes your imagination, she claims.
The second step is to keep a dream journal and regularly think about your dreams throughout the day.
This blends the two states of consciousness – when awake and when asleep – and gave Awadallah more control over her dreams.
‘Writing down dreams as soon as you wake up helps strengthen your connection to them, making it easier to become more lucid over time,’ Awadallah said.
Arizona-born Awadallah says that the ‘powerful’ lucid dreams where she meets her father, who died suddenly in 2017, have helped her to process her grief
Attiya Awadallah and her father when she was a baby. He died suddenly in 2017, but visits her in her dreams
‘Drawing parts of the dream can also help deepen the connection. Sometimes, I use the voice-to-text function on my phone to capture details quickly if I’m not able to write as fast as I’m recalling.’
She added: ‘What worked for me was rehearsing the dream in my mind as I was falling asleep—imagining the scenario, like seeing my father and being in his presence. It’s like setting an intention before sleep,’ she said.
‘You can also revisit a dream you’ve already had and imagine how you’d want it to continue or conclude.’
Awadallah said that her father never says much during her dreams – and it’s ‘about his presence’ rather than communicating.
Lucid dreaming is the state of being aware and conscious while dreaming, usually during rapid eye movement (REM) sleep.
And about 55 percent of people have had at least one lucid dream in their lifetime.
The experience has been studied since the 1960s but has long been part of the practices of Tibetan Buddhism, which sees lucid dreaming as mediation and a way to enhance awareness in the real world.
While Awadallah said seeing her father in that state has helped her grieve less, there are times she doesn’t know she is only dreaming.
‘It’s a surreal mix of comfort and loss, leaving me with emotions that linger long after I wake up,’ she said.
‘These dreams don’t take away the pain of loss, but they have become an unexpected part of my healing process.
‘They allow me to experience moments of connection and offer a way to process my grief by re-experiencing his presence in a way that feels tangible.’
Awadallah, however, does not consciously try to dream about him anymore, but believes that lucid dreaming can be an ‘unexpected gift’ in helping to deal with such experiences.
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