A new child is stressful for any family, but one new father has revealed he is considering divorcing his wife because of how she’s behaving after giving birth.
Posting to Reddit’s Am I The A**hole subreddit, the unnamed 33-year-old man explained his wife, 31, constantly complained about how clumsy he was — which went from being a joke to being a possible cause for divorce.
‘I do drop things by accident when my hand hits it unknowingly and so I do agree with her,’ he wrote in the Reddit post.
‘But it’s not that bad that I’m knocking over things everyday.’
Posting to Reddit under the subreddit, Am I The A**hole, the unnamed 33-year-old man explained his wife, 31, constantly complains about how clumsy he is – which went from being a joke to being a possible cause for divorce
He went on to say he used to ‘laugh’ it off when his wife brought it up previously, but during her pregnancy she often started to say how she wouldn’t let him hold their baby because of how clumsy he was.
‘Again, I laughed it off at times and sometimes when I did take it seriously I told her there’s a difference between knocking over the TV remote and dropping a kid from your arms,’ he said.
‘Still, I did not think about it as much. But then my child was born and I was shocked at how reluctant she was to even let me hold the baby in the hospital.’
The man said he noticed his wife panicking when he was even around their daughter, and it started causing a lot of fights which were still continuing.
‘It’s been a couple of months and I have not been able to hold my baby more than thrice including once when I held her at the hospital,’ he complained.
He said his wife now slept in a different bedroom with their infant, and didn’t even let him hold her if he was sitting down.
‘She almost never leaves our daughter alone with me,’ he said desperately. ‘I suggested I’d use a child carrier to take her on walks but she refuses that too, often times suggesting that I’d tip over and fall face first.’
The new dad said he thought his wife was overreacting, and he suggested they went to therapy together. However, she told him that ‘talking won’t fix [his] body.’
Reddit users encouraged to man to seek medical help for his wife, many suggesting she could be suffering from postpartum depression
‘She keeps telling me that I’ll be the reason that our child would die if I ever held her and as a father I should realize how dangerous it is and comply with her,’ he wrote.
‘All this has really affected me and I’ve become a lot more self conscious. Every time I mess up doing something, she tells me that it’s proof that what she’s saying is right.’
The man said he was usually a calm person and had tried to reason with his wife many times, but he was at his wit’s end with what to do.
‘I love my wife and my child more than myself but I cannot continue this considering how I can’t even hold my own child, play with her, take her on walks, etc.,’ he said.
Upset about the situation he’s in, the upset father said after a recent fight he snuck into his daughter’s bedroom when his wife was asleep, which triggered a huge fight.
‘I went to my daughter, I didn’t hold her, I just held her hand and looked at her,’ he said, adding he was ’emotional’ and whispered a few things to her’ – which woke his wife up.
‘She screamed at first and then told me to leave the room immediately,’ the father recalled. ‘I told her that I was not going to hold her and that I was just there to see her and hold her hand.
‘She didn’t believe me and accused me of being ignorant and selfish. I did lose my temper too and I offloaded these entire two months of frustration onto her.’
The dad was remorseful about how he acted, admitting he felt ‘terrible’ about how he acted that night, and was now staying in a hotel because she told him to leave the next morning.
‘I wasn’t in a mood to argue either so I quietly left,’ he wrote. ‘I cannot seem to get over any of what has happened. And even though it hurts so much, I think I am going to part ways.’
There were many comments on the post, many of whom expressed their concern over his wife’s mental health.
‘Your wife is showing some concerning signs of postpartum anxiety,’ one user pointed out.
‘I’d give your health visitor/midwife/doctor a call and express your concerns before the anxiety manifests itself in more harmful ways. Although preventing a father from bonding and caring for his child is harmful already.’
Another chimed in with their own postpartum experience, saying that a divorce could alienate her further.
‘Divorce or separation is just going to alienate you from your newborn more, and your wife’s anxiety might progress in dangerous directions without your ability to intervene,’ they said.
‘I would strongly advise working it out with your wife and returning to this marital conflict when your wife is in a better headspace.’
‘Agreed, your wife needs to see a mental health professional,’ someone else wrote.
‘Heart goes out to you OP, that is brutal. I’m clumsy too but I’m a ninja with my 7 month old. Fatherhood gives you dad strength and lightening (sic) fast reflexes.’