I went from a traumatic childhood and stealing scraps from plates in cafés to owning a successful business – here’s how I did it

Rowena Calderwood was brought up by an anorexic mother who believed being overweight was a character flaw to be avoided at all costs.

She would hiss at Rowena when she ate or when her body changed shape and loudly criticise everyone in sight, analysing their physique.

For over two decades Rowena, now 39, saw herself through that lens – from the point of view of a mother so mentally unwell she believed the only thing she had control over was what she put into her body.

It wasn’t until Rowena hit rock bottom, and found herself stealing scraps from abandoned plates at cafes, that her view on food and health changed.

Speaking to FEMAIL the young mum, who now calls the Gold Coast home, revealed how she moved past her troubling childhood to build a successful business which gives back to Australia’s Butterfly Foundation. 

Rowena has often struggled to see her tough start as just that.

‘It is hard because it’s natural to compare it to something worse,’ she said.

‘But I remember growing up thinking it was scary but normal.

‘It was only once I got much older I realised how not normal it was – but by then there was nothing I could do about it.’

Her mother was a drug addicted alcoholic. She had anorexia and suffered from manic depression.

‘She would be okay and on lots of medication but then decide to come off it,’ she explained.

Rowena, pictured with her son, describes her childhood as scary. She says her mum cared about her slim figure more than anything else and taught her children to do the same 

Rowena’s mother was born into a powerful Iranian family, one step from royalty.

Her father served directly under the king and so she was brought up in the palace surrounded by riches.

Then when the military staged a coup in August 1953, she was forced to flee with her father, to the UK. 

Here they lived a much more modest life. Rowena’s young mother met her father, a man from humble beginnings, and fell pregnant. She ended up having two children.

She didn’t ever adjust to this ‘poverty’, then it got worse.

‘When my grandfather died all of his assets were seized, leaving my mother with nothing,’ she said.

Growing up in a palace meant her mother was taught appearances matter, above all.

‘She literally went from riches to rags, that was the beginning of her bad mental health,’ Rowena said. 

As she learned to navigate the UK as a commoner she gripped onto that and became obsessed with her weight.

‘The only thing she could control was what she ate and didn’t eat. She survived on coffee, cigarettes, drugs and alcohol,’ she said.

Rowena grew up watching her mother’s disdain for anyone out of shape and did her best to avoid becoming a target.

‘I didn’t disregard anyone of any weight except myself. I believed I was not good enough if I sat down and had side bits hanging out,’ she said.

She didn’t want to disappoint her mother by gaining weight and started to see her body as a problem.

‘I eventually unlearned it but I did look at people the same way for a long time,’ she said.

And for a long time Rowena did – then she became homeless and destitute which forced her to think about food and bodies differently. Now she wants to help others do the same 

Rowena left home at 15 and landed in Australia when she was 21.

When she was 23 she found herself with no money, no job and no one to help.

‘This was the time before iPhone. I was living in a tent and started thinking about things. About the comforts I used to take for granted like having bed sheets, or a chair,’ she said.

She lived off bread and jam for weeks. Eventually she was so hungry food became her biggest priority.

‘I remember walking past a café one day and stealing a sausage,’ she said.

‘And it got me thinking about all the stuff I had been taught about appearances.’

Rowena’s mindset around food began to change and she realised how important it was to fuel her body properly. 

She also became to accept the social importance of a meal. 

Rowena runs the Butterfly Effect – an event inspiring movement and highlighting the work of the Butterfly Foundation 

Rowena became a PT after recovering from her lowest point – this helped her move past her trauma – pictured a woman from an event 

But the young woman’s lowest point was still to come.

She had become so poorly her tooth crumbled in her mouth. She was in a huge amount of pain so decided to hitch a ride to the Gold Coast where she landed a job in a call centre.

Rowena worked there for eight years, early on the boss gave her an advance to fix her tooth, and she had a steady income while she figured out the next stage of her plan.

While living on the Gold Coast she further developed her understanding around food and discovered fitness.  This changed her life. She had never worked out before.

After heading to the gym for a few months she decided to become a PT.

Over the next few years she bought and sold gyms before setting up The Butterfly Effect event from one of them.

‘Women would come to the gym and tell me their goals – it was always to tone up or to look like someone or something,’ she said.

‘It was never about improving their health or longevity. Which I found really sad.

‘I wanted to bring women together, to focus on something bigger than how they looked.’

She realised everything her mother had taught her about bodies, appearance and being a woman was skewed by her own traumatic story – pictured a woman from her event 

She said people like her mother, and those who perpetuate similar beauty standards have a lot to answer for.

‘You see these women on Instagram pulling up their tops to show off their stomachs to promote health. But in truth they are not healthy, many of these women don’t have their periods and it always comes out that they have suffered from some kind of eating disorders,’ she said.

‘It is a warped thing to aspire to.’ 

Rowena in 2019 – she started her Butterfly Event in 2016 after seeing too many with unrealistic demands for their bodies 

The Butterfly Effect is a Cross Fit Games style event where female ‘athletes’ and their friends, who may or may not be as sports minded, work to complete a series of demanding physical tasks.

The tournament began in 2016 – where Rowena held space for 80 teams and has continued to grow ever since.

In 2018 Rowena took on a business partner, Karly Kentwell, who she says has been instrumental in the businesses huge growth.

Rowena with her business partner Kelly – who has helped the event grow since 2018

Now they host the event in all of Australia’s major cities as well as in the UK.

Globally 1400 women will take part in the event this year.

‘This year the Gold Coast event which has 275 teams of two and 1000 spectators sold out in four minutes,’ she said.

Rowena’s events raise money and awareness for the Butterfly Foundation, an organisation with a focus on eating disorders, body image and mental health.