I worked as an escort and guarantee a man’s job has everything to do with how well he performs

As a former escort, I guarantee a man’s job can dictate what kind of lover he is. 

Here are my five favourite professions – and the one I would always avoid.

Forget good looks and charm, I can tell how good a man is in bed by what he does for work. 

I know which professions to avoid at all costs to avoid a flop between the sheets and what kind of job adds a little va va voom in the bedroom. 

Disclaimer: Don’t take this too seriously; it is firmly tongue in cheek.

1) Lawyers

I said once when God created psychopaths, he made them lawyers. If you want a night of unforgettable bad boy sex, forget dating apps, hang out at the local court. 

From divorce lawyers to criminal barristers, they have the gift of the gab, they’re naughty and they want to push their boundaries. 

Maybe it’s hanging out with the crims they represent, lawyers don’t just find trouble, they create it. Guaranteed a good time.

2) Accountants

Let’s face it, crunching numbers is boring, so accountants will do anything for a thrill. 

They’re usually open minded, kinky (and that doesn’t just mean taking their cardigan off), and they can calculate your needs in a measured yet sexy way. 

They spend hours in front of a screen so they are always happy to see you.

Samantha rated lawyers, accountants, doctors, cops, and academics favourably in terms of their bedside manners

3) Doctors

If a doctor doesn’t know how your body works, no one will. 

Despite being guilty of God complex, doctors and particularly surgeons, know what to do and when to do it. 

While they can be mechanical at times, they are clean, smart and efficient. 

They always have nice hands and clean fingernails.

4) Cops

If you like bad boys, the cop is your lover. There are two kinds of cops – the nerds and the ones that make criminals look soft. 

They’re usually covered in tattoos, clean shaven, and if you like being dominated, the cop is your lover. 

I’ve yet to meet one who hasn’t broken the law. Warning: Your fun is short lived – they’re usually asleep in seconds as they’re always on shift.

But the former call girl admitted to always avoiding real estate agents to steer clear of the short end of the stick

5) Academics

You weren’t expecting boffins to be good in bed, but bookworms have brains and that’s a turn on. 

Often tortured souls, academics are sensitive to your needs and their bedroom talk is pure poetry. 

They don’t have much money so they know how to keep you entertained at home for hours.

And to avoid: Real estate agents

Don’t be fooled by the sports car and flashy smile – real estate agents will waste your time in and out of the bedroom. 

Everything they have is on loan and that includes their time – you will be one of many. 

They will tell you what you want to hear and have memory loss when you call them out on it. 

Bending the truth comes naturally to this breed and it is not unusual for them to have the morning sniffles, having spent most of the evening squeezed in the toilet cubicles with their colleagues.