- Jeff Guenther, from Oregon, said you should never use the word ‘always’
- People will become defensive if told they ‘always’ do something, he said
- READ MORE: Expert reveals why ‘no contact’ after break-ups is good for you
A relationship therapist has revealed the four things he would never do to his partner.
Jeff Guenther, a couples counsellor from Oregon, told his 2.8 million followers on TikTok of the thoughtless remarks his clients make to their partner that are bound to build resentment.
The first thing Guenther said he would never do is give a partner the silent treatment.
‘That can be incredibly triggering to people that had parents who punished them that way. It can be traumatizing,’ he said.
Never give your partner the silent treatment, couples therapist Jeff Guenther said
‘It’s childish and mean and is meant to create anxiety. I hate it.’
Many of Guenther’s followers in the comments asked how to avoid giving their partner the silent treatment when they have a habit of withdrawing in conflict, to which he advised: ‘Ask for space and let them know you need it to feel better so you can reconnect.’
The next thing Guenther refrains from doing at all costs is ‘telling them why my ex was better than them.’
‘That’s just unnecessarily messed up and what is the point of this?
‘You’re opening up a can of worms where your sweetie is going to constantly think that you’re comparing them to your last partner all the time.’
He added: ‘If you have to do that, which you shouldn’t, keep it to yourself.’
Guenther also recommended against teasing your partner or putting them down on a regular basis.
‘Light teasing can be OK if you’re both consenting to it, but if making your partner feel bad about themselves is the primary way you show your love, it’s going to backfire one day when they start feeling pretty insecure about themselves.’
And lastly, he warned against talking in extremes, and saying things like ‘You’re always like this’ or ‘You never do that.’
‘Words like “always” and “never” always make someone defensive,’ Guenther said. ‘It’s never a good way to start a conversation, trust me.’
‘And 99 percent of the time it’s just not true, that they always or never do something,’ he added.
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Read more at DailyMail.co.uk