I’m a sex expert – here is the biggest mistake lovers are making in the bedroom

A sex expert has revealed the biggest mistake lovers are making while getting tangled up in the bed sheets.

Sarah Riccio, 34, is a sex positive activist and professional sex toy tester who is determined to help people have the best sex of their lives. 

The New York-based intimacy pro says there are still so many misconceptions surrounding sex, and many people are still unsure about the different ways to be intimate.

‘Most still think of sex as just penis-in-vagina penetrative intercourse but the truth is that’s just one specific example of sex — there are so many ways to have sex,’ Sarah enthused.

She added a major issue is that lovers aren’t grasping the concept of foreplay, causing their sexy time to be less enjoyable. 

‘Most adults don’t actually know what foreplay is,’ she declared. ‘People think it’s just mouth and hands before the “real” sex, but that’s actually “coreplay.”‘

According to the sex-pert, ‘true foreplay’ includes all the non-physical things you do to build arousal before physical play.

‘They should really call it “beforeplay,”‘ she joked.

Sarah insisted that if an activity results in an orgasm, it shouldn’t be branded foreplay.

‘Foreplay shouldn’t be considered a bonus part of sexual play, but an essential part of play that really sets the stage for a fulfilling experience,’ she said.

Sarah said misunderstanding what foreplay is can often can lead to situations where people – particularly women – find themselves not fully in the mood when intercourse begins.

‘They’re not naturally lubricated, or penetration hurts, because their arousal hasn’t been properly set up,’ she explained. 

Sarah’s unusual line of work began as a bed tester, which involved her trying mattresses and bedding for manufacturing companies. It was there that she’d eventually meet her now-business partner, Rose.

Sarah Riccio, 34, is a sex positive activist and professional sex toy tester who is determined to help people have the best sex of their lives

However, she noted that mainstream porn can be harmful because it perpetuates harmful ideas about consent, anatomy, and pleasure

However, when she spotted an ad for a sex toy tester on Craigslist in 2018, she jumped on the idea. 

‘Thankfully it was legit,’ she joked.

In 2020, both Sarah and Rose lost their jobs due to the pandemic and launched their sex toy website Delicto in summer 2021, which sells sex toys and provides advice and reviews on them.

‘I thought the only thing I loved more than sleep was sex – so that’s where we headed,’ she joked.

In her line of work, Sarah provides comprehensive reviews of all the latest sex toys – and has personally tested over 150 different sex toys.

Their site provides sex education, and tips and tutorials on how to use them.

‘When the business first launched, we had our ups and downs, and one point we thought should we just go back to work for the man? But now we are bigger than ever,’ Sarah proudly boasted.

The sex expert has many opinions on all things surrounding intimacy, also sharing her strong thoughts on porn. 

In 2020, Sarah and Rose (pictured) lost their jobs due to the pandemic and launched sex toy website Delicto in summer 2021, which sells sex toys and provides advice and reviews on them

‘Lots of people think porn is bad, no matter what, but in the last decade, the industry has made some great strides,’ she argued.

She highlighted the rise of ‘ethical porn,’ which sees sex workers and performers starting their own businesses.

The sex expert said that X-rated platforms like OnlyFans have shed a new light on intimacy and made the conversations surrounding it more positive.

‘It’s kind of like the farmers market of porn where young people can learn about kink or anatomy in a healthy, positive way,’ she pointed out.

However, she noted that mainstream porn can be harmful because it perpetuates harmful ideas about consent, anatomy, and pleasure and projects unrealistic body standards.

‘[For example] a lot of women and people with vulvas are convinced that if they don’t have tiny labia, something is wrong with them,’ Sarah explained.

At the end of the day, Sarah encourages everyone to open their minds to broader their definitions of sex and to engage in conversations that are less shrouded in shame.

‘I wish we, as a collective, would feel less shame about talking about sex,’ she said. 

‘Whether with ourselves or with each other.’