Is it inappropriate to ask for cash instead of birthday gifts? Mum’s party request divides parents

A mum has divided opinion after asking her child’s birthday party guests to contribute cash rather than buy a present. 

The Sydney woman said she would prefer money contributions so she can buy her four-year-old daughter something she really wants rather than receiving ‘a huge amount of toys’. 

Parents thought the ‘rude request’ went against proper party etiquette and would make invitees ‘uncomfortable’. 

However, not everyone thought asking for cash was a bad idea and said they would much rather put a ‘fiver’ in a card than have to shop around for a gift.  

‘My four-year-old is turning five soon and we are planning a birthday party for her. Is it okay to mention in the invite that we would prefer cash contributions rather than gifts?’ the mum asked in a post.

‘The intention is to have a compilation and then get her to go shopping for her a gift of her choice. We just live in a two-bedroom unit, so we don’t really have space for a huge amount of toys.’

She asked if other mums had ever done the same for their kids’ birthdays and for advice on how to politely ask for money without offending guests. 

But many were quick to slam the suggestion arguing it would put parents in an ‘awkward position’ as they tried to figure out how much to contribute. 

‘I personally think it’s a little rude and if you ask for cash then it could make people uncomfortable,’ one woman said. 

‘This is awkward, especially if it’s a daycare/school friend that you don’t know that well. What’s acceptable? Also, I think part of the joy at their age is opening up the gifts and it being a surprise,’ a second pointed out. 

The Sydney woman said she would prefer cash contributions so she can buy her four-year-old daughter something she really wants rather than receiving ‘a huge amount of toys

‘It’s rude unless you specify a low amount they should give,’ a third agreed and another said: ‘I would find it a bit off-putting’. 

One mum said she had never heard of a cash request outside of weddings while another suggested the woman invite a smaller group of people if she didn’t want too many toys.

While some didn’t think asking for money was out of line they suggested less ‘awkward’ approaches.

‘Definitely just put some specificity around the dollar amount, like $5-$10 or something and say it’s going towards buying her a gift,’ one member recommended.

‘We were invited to a party that said ‘no boxed gifts’. Everyone gave a gift card or cash,’ a second recalled and a third added: ‘You could set up a registry or wishing well to make it easier for people to decide how much to spend.’

Someone said they had once set a ‘no plastic rule’ for presents and received books and puzzles while another suggested asked for experiences like movie tickets, zoo passes or indoor play sessions.

However, others were completely supportive of the mum’s money ask saying it ‘reduces waste’ and prevents kids getting unwanted or duplicate gifts. 

‘I’m so into cash for presents. They get so much crap they rarely play with, it’s better for them to choose one decent present that they will appreciate,’ one woman said. 

‘We asked for cash instead of a gift for our daughter and have used this money on her swimming/dance classes instead. We were moving and expecting a baby so the ‘stuff’ would not have been appreciated,’ another added. 

‘I don’t see anything wrong with asking for cash instead of gifts. Makes it easier for parents gifting the child!’ a third wrote.