It’s time for the inspectors to do their jobs… they must ban venues that dish up unfit pitches, writes DAVID LLOYD

They’ve had heaters and fans pitchside this week ahead of the deciding Test between Pakistan and England. That’s hilarious. At 30 degrees, Rawalpindi is surely hot enough to dry the surface naturally.

Make no mistake, in using artificial methods to make it excessively dry, Pakistan are placing a massive gamble on the toss of a coin.

They will not want to bat last, and if the coin comes down the wrong way, they will have to deal with the potential of the ball spinning prodigiously towards the back end of this match.

Now, I’m all for using home advantage, with one proviso – that the pitch prepared is brand new. Not second hand, as was the case for the second match at Multan.

But Pakistan appear to be taking things to the extreme and in the words of Brian Clough, I would remind the ICC’s match referees and pitch inspectors: ‘Do your job!’

Ben Stokes (left) and Brendon McCullum (right) have been checking out the pitch that is expected to be spin-friendly

If this pitch proves to be so abrasive that it is unfit for Test match cricket this week, say so.

Pitch inspectors currently make their judgments on quality using four different categories, ranging from unfit to very good. Two unfit ratings for a venue over a five-year period result in a 12-month ban from hosting international matches.

My concern is whether these assessments are carried out under the auspices of the ICC or totally independently. I’m for independence.

And the consequence of having an unfit pitch in my book would hit harder, via an instant year-long ban. Losing hosting rights is financially crippling and therefore the most suitable deterrent.

Forget that this is Rawalpindi. It isn’t just about this week. Or this series. This would be applied worldwide. If it was Lord’s, and the pitch was deemed unfit, the same would apply.

As it happens, if they want an independent pitch inspector, ‘I’m free,’ as Mr. Humphries would say in Are You Being Served?

Although the ICC previously used my expertise on the selection of its elite umpires, as someone with a pitch in their back garden, and 60 years’ experience in the game, I feel suitably qualified.

Last week’s Test was dominated by Pakistan’s spinners as the reused pitch in Multan rapidly deteriorated

Home advantage is fine, but unfit pitches should be punished by the ICC

And I could give you names of others around the world with no axes to grind who could join me on a panel: Jeffrey Dujon from West Indies, Ravi Shastri of India, Australia’s Darren Lehmann, Shaun Pollock as South African representative. They all know Test match cricket.

So, what constitutes an unfit pitch? Well, number one, if a batsman can’t play proper cricket shots, two if the bounce is uneven and three if the ball spins or seams excessively, particularly early in a match. Given the preparation, this one will be under scrutiny from the off.

Some people will argue that when you go to Australia, the pitches are quick and bouncy and in the home team’s favour, but to me that’s what a cricket pitch should be.

Others will say they face green tops when they come to England, but I’ve never seen one in a Test match here and I’ve been around a long time.

What is true is that the UK’s weather hampers pitch preparation from time to time.

We live in a country that is wet and so, no matter what you do, it will start damp. Perhaps we should get some of those fans and heaters?