The mother of murdered toddler James Bulger has revealed how she believes she was visited by her son’s ghost while cleaning the house.
Speaking on Loose Women today, Denise Fergus, who was with her two-year-old son the day he was abducted from a Liverpool shopping centre, told of a moment when she had felt a tug on her nightdress as she scrubbed the bathroom sink.
Believing it was her younger son, Michael, Denise looked down – but found nothing there.
The heart-wrenching revelation comes just weeks ahead of the 25th anniversary of her son’s notorious kidnap and murder by ten-year-olds Jon Venables and Robert Thompson.
Speaking on Loose Women today, Denise Fergus, mother of murdered toddler James Bulger, told how she felt a tug on her nightdress, only to look down and find no one there
Denise believes the spirit of her son, pictured, has visited the family on a number of occasions
James was tortured and left for dead by 10-year-olds Jon Venables, left, and Robert Thompson
Speaking on the programme today, Denise said: ‘I don’t know whether I’m going mad. There was time I was cleaning around the bathroom sink and I was in my nightdress and I felt a tug.
‘I turned around to say to “Michael what’s up?’ Michael wasn’t there. So I was like this is weird. So I shouted down the stairs to my niece, “Is Michael down with you?” and she said, ‘Yeah”, so I was like, OK that room’s done now.’
It is one of a number of occasions that Denise has experienced James’ spirit.
Denise has penned a powerful new memoir, I Let Him Go, that addresses the day her son was snatched from the Liverpool shopping centre, and the lasting effect the shocking circumstances of his death has had on her family life.
‘It might be 25 years but it doesn’t feel like 25 years to me,’ Denise said on Loose Women. ‘I never got to see James grow up. He never got to know his first day at school, he didn’t get the chance to do that. I still see him as a baby, I can’t see him being a young man. It’s really weird.
The mother, pictured, was with son James (seen in background) the day he was abducted
Denise has opened up about her personal experience in a new memoir titled I Let Him Go
‘My other boys have grown up before my eyes. It’s amazing to see them. I love seeing that but there’s always that one missing.’
She explained that she wanted to share some of her personal memories of James so that everyone could see her son as ‘more than a picture’.
I’ve still got memories of James and they are lovely memories that I’ve got of him and I wanted to share those memories with everyone
‘I’ve still got memories of James and they are lovely memories that I’ve got of him and I wanted to share those memories with everyone,’ she continued.
‘They’ve given me so much support over the years I thought it’s about time now I put it in my own words in a book and share them with everyone.’
Of her favourite memory, Denise said: ‘I didn’t want to lose any memories at all of James, no parent does when they lose a child. But over the years they start going to the back of your mind without you even realising it.
Speaking on Loose Women Denise, centre, said she still thinks ‘what if’
‘Writing the book everything has come back to me, all the lovely memories. I don’t go back to the day he went missing, I don’t want to go back there. The memories that are put into the book are mine to keep. Now they’re in paper and I can look at them anytime I want and I can see them memories for myself.’
She added: ‘One particular memory I’ve got of him, he was sitting in front of the TV, the curtains were drawn in the house, I went out to get a drink, when I came back in, I’d given him a bag of Chipsticks, I looked at the curtains, and I thought, “What’s that?” He actually took all the chips and thrown them like darts all over the curtain and I said, “Really? You’re meant to have eaten them!”
Denise said she wanted to make sure people thought of her son, pictured, as more than just a photograph
Of the name of the book, ‘I Let Him Go’, Denise said: ‘I did, I let him go. It does [still go through my head], I was the last one with him. And yeah, my mind is full of “if only I’d stayed in that day”, “if only I’d taken the buggy”, which I always did – I always took the buggy, he was always strapped in it. It was just that one day I didn’t.’
Speaking of James’s disappearance, she said: ‘It was so, so quick. He came into the shop with me, he stood at the side of me, I had hold of his hand and I said to him, “Wait there, stay there”, and as I turned to get my bag and my purse to pay, I looked down and he’d gone.
‘The person that I was with, she was standing on the other side of the shop, I shouted over to her, “Where’s James?” and she went, “Oh, he’ll just be outside” and I’m going, “He shouldn’t be outside!” That’s when I run out and unfortunately I took the wrong turning. They were going one way as I went the other.
‘There’s only two ways you can go. Unfortunately I went the wrong way.’
Asked if she still feels somehow responsible, Denise said: ‘It doesn’t eat me up anymore, I’m not torturing myself because it wouldn’t be fair on my other three boys if I kept on thinking like that.
‘I didn’t want my feelings rubbed off on them. I wanted them to have normal lives, I wanted them to grow up and have the lives they should have. I didn’t want to carry the burden on me the whole time, but it’s still locked inside me, it’s still there.’
JAMES BULGER: THE MURDER THAT SHOCKED THE NATION
The murder of James Bulger was a vicious crime that shocked Britain.
Jon Venables and Robert Thompson were both 10 years old on February 12, 1993, when they abducted the two-year-old before brutally torturing and killing him.
The crime made the boys the youngest killers in modern English history.
The duo snatched James from outside a butcher’s shop in Bootle, Merseyside, in 1993, while his mother popped into a store for just a few seconds.
CCTV footage, pictured, captured the moment Venables and Thompson took James from the shopping centre in Bootle
James’ mutilated body was found on a railway line in Walton, Liverpool, two days later.
The boys were playing truant from school, and CCTV showed them observing local children at the shopping centre, appearing to be ‘selecting a target’.
They were then captured on camera taking the boy away at 3.42pm, before leading him on a two-and-a-half mile walk through Liverpool to the village of Walton.
Venables and Thompson were seen by 38 people during the walk, and were twice challenged by bystanders because James was crying and had a bump on his forehead.
The death of James shocked the nation and floral tributes were left in their droves at his funeral, pictured
But they were able to convince the concerned people that James was their little brother and continued on their way.
They led James to a railway line near the disused Walton & Anfield Railway Station where they began torturing him – including throwing paint in his eye, pelting him with stones and bricks and dropping an iron bar on his head.
After the body was found, police launched an appeal showing the low-resolution CCTV images of the boy.
The breakthrough came when one woman recognised Venables, who she knew had skipped school with Thompson on that day, and contacted police.
They were charged with murder on February 20 and forensic tests confirmed they had the same paint on their clothes as was found on James’ body.
Wreathes and a giant floral teddybear adorned his grave, pictured, in Merseyside
Around 500 protesters turned out for their initial magistrates’ court hearing due to the public outcry against the crime.
The subsequent trial at Preston Crown Court and the boys were considered to be ‘mature enough’ to know they were doing something ‘seriously wrong’.
Venables and Thompson were found guilty on November 24, 1993, with the judge describing them as ‘cunning and wicked’.
Reporting restrictions on their names were also lifted as it was considered in the public interest to do so.
Their parents were moved to different parts of the country and also received new identities due to death threats against them.