The princess and her 32-year-old fiance Jack Brooksbank will marry on October 12 in St George’s Chapel, Windsor
Eugenie who? She’s doing what? How many tickets? Are you having a laugh? A flock of eyebrows were raised when Princess Eugenie’s grandiose wedding plans were announced last week.
Despite being ninth in line to the throne and about as constitutionally important as one of the Queen’s corgis, the 28-year old princess clearly has her heart set on a full-throttle, trumpet- tootling extravaganza, complete with all the royal trimmings.
Instead of shuffling off to tie the knot discreetly in parts unknown — as perhaps befits her relatively lowly royal status — the princess and her 32-year-old fiance Jack Brooksbank will marry on October 12 in St George’s Chapel, Windsor.
And it is not just the location that has embarrassing echoes of the recent nuptials of the Duke and Duchess of Sussex.
Just like Harry and Meghan, Eugenie and Jack will also have a carriage ride through Windsor after the ceremony.
And just like Harry and Meghan, they have invited members of the public and representatives of their favourite charities inside the grounds of Windsor Castle to goggle appreciatively at all the royal swells. These lucky ‘golden ticket’ holders will have the best views of the bride and groom and all their celebrity pals, whether they like it or not.
This announcement was made by Buckingham Palace, who decreed that the couple were ‘delighted to announce an opportunity for 1,200 people from across the UK to share the experience of their special day’.
That number will include members of the Windsor community, residents of the castle and some royal household staff, along with children from the local schools.
On her Instagram account, the princess herself wrote that: ‘Jack and I are excited to be able to invite people to watch our wedding inside the Precinct of Windsor Castle.’
Very magnanimous of her, I’m sure. However, it does beg the question — who the hell does Princess Eugenie think she is?
She’s not exactly a huge star within the Royal Family firmament, and over the years she has done absolutely nothing to distinguish herself or to encourage public affection. Indeed, she is most famous for her ridiculous fashion faux pas, including an irrational fondness for wearing teapot-shaped skirts, a trait that is hardly likely to get them out cheering on the streets of Berkshire.
Her husband-to-be seems a lovely bloke, but is unknown to the great unwashed. Brooksbank is a former bar manager, whose great-grandfather was an equerry to Queen Mary. He may be a commoner — and he will not take a title after the wedding — but his distinguished family have pots of money. He now works as a tequila brand ambassador for George Clooney’s Casamigos company, the kind of glamorous, untaxing job that only posh boys can land.
Just like Harry and Meghan, Eugenie and Jack will also have a carriage ride through Windsor after the ceremony
Meanwhile, like her big sister Princess Beatrice, Eugenie is considered by Buckingham Palace to be a private individual; her name does not appear in the court circular and she gets no income from the Privy Purse.
In this vein, her parents the Duke and Duchess of York have always scrupulously maintained the conceit that their daughters are just another pair of typically modern, independent women, making their own way in the world with no special privileges attached.
Of course, no one outside the Yorks inner circle has ever been fooled by that. If the girls really want to be ordinary, why don’t they follow the example of the Queen’s adored niece, Lady Sarah Chatto? For years she has quietly just got on with her own life, living in her own house and doing her own job, without any palace-decreed fanfare.
In comparison, Eugenie’s upcoming wedding plans strip away that we’re-so-normal facade even further, revealing a hunger for glitz and royal glamour that is every bit as monstrous as Mother Fergie’s. The wedding even has some elements that make it seem like a state occasion, a turn of events which certainly feeds into the senior Yorks’ endless delusions of grandeur.
Princess Eugenie is not even the second royal after Harry to have a big wedding like this at St George’s. The Duke and Duchess of Wessex did it first, back in 1999. However, Prince Edward was fifth in line to the throne at the time, and there was still a huge amount of interest in him.
Brooksbank (left) is a former bar manager, whose great-grandfather was an equerry to Queen Mary
Prince Harry was fifth in line when he announced his engagement to Meghan Markle, and sixth in line when he married her in May. Yet she was a famous American television actress who had sparked much fascination, some of it fuelled by her ongoing dysfunctional family dramas.
And he, well, he is our beloved Harry; the wounded little boy who lost his mother, the handsome soldier prince who turned into the most relatable royal of them all.
There was huge, global enchantment with that wedding, certainly enough to validate the pomp and the enormous taxpayer-funded security operation that went with it. As lovely as Eugenie and Jack seem, is there really any justification for the opulence of these nuptials, as Princess Nobody takes Joe Soap to be her lawful wedded hubs?
Eugenie is considered by Buckingham Palace to be a private individual; her name does not appear in the court circular and she gets no income from the Privy Purse
Let us be frank. For her first 28 years on this planet, Her Royal Highness Princess Eugenie of York has done almost nothing of note. Nothing to startle the horses, admittedly — but nothing to impress the horses either.
A little light charity work here. A vague position in the art world there. Anybody need their coloured pencils sharpened? She’s your girl.
She has a 2.1 degree from Newcastle University, she has a good job at an art gallery and she has never — unlike her mother — caused the Royals any embarrassment.
Like her sister Princess Beatrice, she is swift to make a glamorous appearance at any fancy party and no one could quibble about her rigorous attendance at royal events, sometimes wearing a silly hat to cheer us all up.
She has a 2.1 degree from Newcastle University (pictured at graduation), she has a good job at an art gallery and she has never — unlike her mother — caused the Royals any embarrassment
Like a neatly groomed, determined seagull, Eugenie has spent nearly three decades drifting along in the richly foaming wake of the Queen, picking off what she can from the royal catch.
Who could blame her, for what else is a high-born gal like her to do? With her winning dimpled smile, her impeccable manners and her pampered arms spread wide, she has embraced the spoils of her birthright with enthusiasm. Yet the rest of the world has watched her development with rather less fascination, even if she is ‘terribly’ excited about her wedding and has been planning feverishly since the beginning of the year.
It would be churlish not to be truly happy for Princess Eugenie, especially as she and Mr Brooksbank seem genuinely besotted with each other. They have been together for seven years after meeting in the ski resort of Verbier and in that time he impressed his future in-laws by vowing not to propose until he had established his career and could provide for their daughter.
Tickets will go out to the public for free – so the wedding is likely to be well attended
At the moment, this does not exactly extend to providing a home. The couple have moved into a Crown Estate property (Ivy Cottage) at Kensington Palace in London, with all the lovely perks that ensues. Yes, they are paying a ‘commercial rent’ on the cottage, but one suspects it will be a fraction of the true market rate.
A similar property in the area would cost around £7,000 a week — £364,000 a year — and that is a lot of tequila, amigos.
In the meantime, the couple have reportedly become quite close with next-door neighbours, the Duke and Duchess of Sussex. According to Andrew Morton’s biography, Meghan: A Hollywood Princess, Eugenie and Meghan have bonded ‘over a shared love of art, dogs and late-night macaroni suppers’.
No doubt the Sussexes will be guests of honour at the October wedding. And, no doubt, the public tickets will be over-subscribed because, let’s face it, they are free. And there are enough royal fans and random tourists out there to take advantage of the offer.
One wishes the couple well, but wonders about the pressure this pumped- up event will put on Thames Valley Police, who have already had to bear the huge cost of policing Prince Harry’s wedding earlier this year.
Extra officers from London and other districts will be drafted in to cope. The local council, however, will probably be quite happy about the possible boost to tourism.
But won’t an awful lot of people, even while once more being dazzled by the pomp and pageantry in Windsor town, be asking themselves this once more — Eugenie who?