Jana Hocking: There’s a dirty X-rated little secret a lot men have that they’re not telling you

Question for the blokes, when did you decide watching your partner have sex with another man was the hottest thing on the planet?

Seriously, I ask with genuine curiosity.

I should probably start at the beginning because this question is quite blunt but trust me, I have my reasons for asking it.

It all began on a boring Monday night when I decided I wanted to spice things up a little.

I took to my Instagram with haste, setting up a questionnaire for my followers that simply stated ‘tell me a saucy secret’. Within seconds my DMs were filled with people telling me their most sordid, juicy secrets. I was hooked I tell you, hooked!

People started telling me about their affairs, their bedroom antics, their kinks and their embarrassing sexual blunders. I was in heaven.

I saved their answers, keeping the senders’ identities anonymous, and posted them to my stories with a sexy picture I thought matched the secret.

People started really engaging with the stories. The reactions to these secrets were strong. I loved dissecting each secret with my followers and joining in with the shocked outrage at some of the more outlandish stories.

Since that quiet night a few months ago it’s become quite the Monday night event. If I’m even a few minutes late past my usual 7:30pm posting I get DMs from followers far and wide (including famous sports players, the occasional soap actor and even a cheeky politician) asking where the secrets are. It brings me great joy.

Thanks to the weekly inundation of secrets, I’ve discovered some real patterns to my followers behaviours. The first being that a heck load of you all are having affairs. Honestly, my inbox is rife with juicy adultery stories.

Jana’s inbox became crowded with confessions from men all over the world – with many admitting they like to hear about their partner’s previous sex lives

‘I can see how it’s kinda hot seeing your partner be sexually adored by someone else,’ Jana says

The second is that a LOT of men enjoy fantasising, or actively watching their partners have sex with other men. It really gets them going. Curiously I pondered if I would enjoy that kind of kink, and I’ve decided the answer is yes.

Now don’t get me wrong, I’m not signing up to a swingers club anytime soon.

Although I did almost end up in one once. It was with my ex from about seven years ago. We were getting a little worked up about the idea. He managed to find a very fancy pants exclusive one in Melbourne.

We agreed that if it was out of town we were less likely to get recognised so why not book a trip down south (metaphorically and logistically). Flights were sorted, the very expensive tickets were purchased, the extensive background check the club required was complete, and then… he chickened out.

Which upon reflection was an absolute blessing because I tend to get a horrendous case of the green-eyed monster. Yes, I admit the jealous gene runs through my veins. So sure, I can fantasise about it but actually watching another woman hook up with my man, nope absolutely not! I’m quite certain it would have ended in tears.

I can see how it’s kinda hot seeing your partner be sexually adored by someone else. I get a bit flustered just thinking about it. 

One man sent in this confession which appeared to almost be too much for Jana

This fantasy is just the tip of the iceberg when it comes to thinking about your partner with someone else. 

It turns out many blokes are now taking it a step further with a new kink called ‘hotpast’ which involves the women telling their male partners about their sexual history while they’re having sex with them. 

 Whether that be telling their partner the sordid details of a one-night stand they once had, or purposely having sex with their partner in the same spot (and position) they did with their ex, its making guys go wild.

In fact there’s even a Reddit thread with nearly 86,000 members strictly dedicated to the topic ‘hotpast’. It’s where men go to share ‘hotpast’ stories of their partners previous sexual endeavours. The description reads ‘This subreddit is for people whose fetish is hearing about or fantasizing about the sexual past and sexual exploits of their partners prior to the current relationship’.

‘Curiously I pondered if I would enjoy that kind of kink, and I’ve decided the answer is yes,’ she said

However, there are strict rules to this stream. Members are not to share stories of cuckolding (being turned on by being cheated on), swinging, or cheating stories. Nope, members are only allowed to share stories of their partners’ pasts.

Umm… that feels low key disrespectful. It’s one thing to whisper your sexy past into your partner’s ear, it’s another for your partner to then air it all over the internet.

Either way this new kink is fast picking up steam with members sharing stories like ‘My wife had a threesome at university’ and ‘My partner once gave a famous football player a bj’.

So much for the narrative we’ve been told all our lives that men are turned off by any woman with a saucy past. Turns out there’s a number of men who can’t get enough of it.

This newfound fact brings me joy, and a thirst for plenty more saucy secrets. Let’s see what next weeks round will bring.