A mother whose baby daughter was tragically stillborn has shared a heartbreaking picture on the day she would have started school.
Joelle Skinner, from Queensland, was 41 weeks pregnant with her little girl Zayli in December 2013 when she was told the baby no longer had a heartbeat.
The mother-of-six took a poignant photograph to pay a touching tribute to her late daughter on what should have been her first day of kindergarten.
The group snapshot shows her four children – Isi, 13, Eden, 11, Jyrah 10 and seven-year-old Amali, dressed in uniform, as lined up next to a hat – where Zayli should have been standing as a five-year-old schoolgirl.
Mother Joelle Skinner shared a picture of her children (from left to right: Isi, 13, Eden, 11, Jyrah 10 and seven-year-old Amali) standing next to a hat – on what should have been the first day of school for her late daughter Zayli who died in the womb at 41 weeks in December 2013
The family spending their final moments with Zayli in hospital in December 2013. From left to right: Jyrah, husband Ben, Eden, Joelle with Zayli, rainbow daughter Kylan, now three, and Isi
Little Zayli tragically died in the womb, leaving her mother with a few moments to build memories of her in candid photographs
‘I knew this day would come, I’ve been dreading it for the last five years,’ the 37-year-old mother told Daily Mail Australia.
‘On the day, I just got on with making lunches, brushing hair, doing what I needed to do to get them off to school.
‘I dropped off the other kids for their first day. I tried not to look, but I saw them, the little preppies and their anxious parents all ready for their first day. And Zayli wasn’t there where she should be.’
The grieving mother said she has been able to find solace by sharing her words via her Facebook page Jedi Mum Tricks.
‘Posting how I’ve been feeling has been very therapeutic for me ever since Zayli died. It helps me so much to get those circling thoughts out of my head,’ she said.
‘And I’ve been told quite often that my posts have helped others process their own grief and give them permission to talk about it too.
‘I keep busy making lots of toys and DIYs for my business Jedi Mum Tricks. It keeps my mind off the overwhelming weight of grief. But it’s still there, it’s always there.’
In December 2013, the mother was rushed to hospital where she was told her unborn baby daughter had suffered SIDS – a sudden infant death syndrome.
She gave birth to her stillborn daughter Zayli.
‘I was 41 weeks pregnant when I went into labour after a healthy pregnancy. There was no indication of anything being wrong with Zayli ever,’ she recalled.
After giving birth to her stillborn baby Zayli, the family spent some final moments with her
Last Christmas Day, the grieving family got together at the cemetery in honour of little Zayli
‘Until we arrived at the hospital and they couldn’t find her heartbeat. We were never given any answers, only that it was like prenatal SIDS, just an unexplained death.
‘It was like the ground was removed from beneath me and I began free falling, I still feel like I’m in free fall now. Nothing will ever be the same.
‘Our world fell apart.’
As the school term returned on January 29, the mother said she wanted to take a snapshot of her children standing next to a hat in memory of little Zayli.
‘I knew I needed to include her somehow. It was such a milestone first day and it would just be wrong to not have her part of it,’ she said.
‘We happened to have a spare hat the kids took home by mistake last year, so I just grabbed it and placed it where she would have been standing.
‘The kids had no idea what I was doing and then when I told them, they loved the idea. It was perfect, she is part of our life.’
Ms Skinner’s children and her rainbow daughter posing for a picture – as they ‘unintentionally’ left a space for Zayli, ‘right where she would have stood’
‘Before our world fell apart’: The family took maternity portraits during Ms Skinner’s pregnancy with Zayli in late 2013
For any parent going through the same grief, Ms Skinner said: ‘Don’t expect to ever get over it’
She shared her powerful words online, urging parents who took their kids to school on the first day to ‘appreciate what you have, hold onto them that little bit tighter’.
‘And to all the little preppies starting school, I wish you well, I hope you love your teachers and find some wonderful friends,’ she wrote.
‘Signed, grieving Mumma of the most beautiful preppie who will be missing from your class.’
For any parent going through the same grief, Ms Skinner told Daily Mail Australia: ‘Don’t expect to ever “get over it”.
‘Grief is a lifelong journey, a scar in our hearts, a limp we walk with, it is the price of love. Other people will expect you to move on, don’t listen to them, carry your baby close always,’ she said.
‘I love my baby girl Zayli with all my heart and will speak of her whenever I get the chance.’