Donald Trump’s got a lady problem: Most women are siding with Kamala Harris.
And in the final days of this impossibly close race, even as the former president takes a slight lead in the national polls for the first time ever, you’d think he’d shift his pitch to the chicks with the yips.
Nope.
At a rally in Wisconsin on Wednesday, your friendly neighborhood garbage-man wearing a bright orange reflective vest said: ‘Whether the women like it or not, I am going to protect them.’
Geez, Donald. Can you soften it a smidge?
At a rally in Wisconsin on Wednesday, your friendly neighborhood garbage-man wearing a bright orange reflective vest said: ‘Whether the women like it or not, I am going to protect them.’
Rather than shoring up the shaky female half of the electorate, he’s gone and juiced his boy base with some of RFK Jr.’s leftover testosterone.
Case in point, that big, blustery Madison Square Garden rally last weekend where Trump trotted out Hulk Hogan (that was retro cheeky at the RNC in July, but in late-October it feels a bit freaky).
Couldn’t they have tapped gushing granddaughter Kai Trump for a New York moment? Where was the lovable grandpa we all swooned over post-assassination attempt at that Milwaukee convention?
Instead, we got an insult comic and some random sausage swingers to call Kamala the ‘anti-Christ’.
That sent podcaster queen Megyn Kelly into a megynecological tailspin.
‘It was too bro-tastic… Do they have no women advising their campaign?’ she asked.
Well, actually, they do. The whole she-bang is helmed by Trump’s de facto campaign manager Susie Wiles. And in 2016, it was Kellyanne Conway who steered him to victory. The problem: when The Donald sets his mind on something, even a coven of witches can’t break the spell.
But the gender gap is real. A recent CBS News poll showed that, while Trump does have a double-digit advantage among men, he is underwater with women by a staggering 12 points. Clearly, he is leaning too much into the Old Spice crowd.
If Donny wants to recapture the hearts of these fleeing females, he better grab them by the… issues.
Former Trump lady-rival Nikki Haley went on Fox News this week and offered some unsolicited advice: ‘This is not the time to get overly masculine with this bromance thing they’ve got going. 53 percent of the electorate are women. Women will vote. They care about how they’re being talked to and they care about the issues!’
Case in point, that big, blustery Madison Square Garden rally last weekend where Trump trotted out Hulk Hogan (that was retro cheeky at the RNC in July, but in late-October it feels a bit freaky).
Last month, a grassroots pro-Harris group started putting Post-it notes in women’s restrooms and on tampon boxes on store shelves across the country urging the gals to secretly vote for Harris.
‘Your husband/wife/partner/family can’t see or control your vote. Remember this on November 5,’ one of them read.
It’s not exactly a screaming display of bold feminism (and a Post-it was certainly no way for Jack Berger to break up with Carrie Bradshaw!) but – as every man knows – a little effort can go a long way with the XX-chromosome set.
Former Republican Congresswoman Barbara Comstock (who has gone full Never-Trumper) claims there’s an army of closeted Commie-la voters out there, who are all too eager to make ‘herstory’ by secretly cancelling out their husbands’ Trump votes.
But while Barb may be barking up the wrong ballot box, Michelle Obama’s vociferous brand of Girl Power certainly resonated with rallygoers in Michigan last weekend.
Pleading with the ‘fellas’ in the room, she boomed: ‘Before you cast your votes ask yourself what side of history do you want to be on?’
This Sister Act may prove to be a formidable force if Team Trump lets them run wild without a response.
Perhaps it’s time for a little pillow talk.
Keep ’em guessing
Singing hunk Shawn Mendes has addressed the is-he-or-isn’t-he gay rumors that tend to plague the phenomenally famous. But he hasn’t necessarily clarified queries.
‘There’s this thing about my sexuality, and people have been talking about it so long’ – go on, Shawn – ‘I think sexuality is such a beautiful, complex thing, and it’s so hard to put into boxes’ – yes… – ‘the real truth about my life and my sexuality is that, man, I’m just figuring it out like everyone.’
I think what he’s figured out is that as long as he’s coy, vague and sexy he can date whoever he likes and keep us all wanting more!
Tragic anniversary
It’s hard to believe it’s been a year since Matthew Perry’s passing.
Marking the morbid anniversary, his mom Suzanne opened up in an interview with Today.
‘I couldn’t help him,’ she wept.
Any parent who endures the torture of slowly losing a child to addiction lives in constant fear of the day the substances take full, final control.
‘There was an inevitability to what was going to happen next to him,’ Suzanne said. All this broken woman can do now is bravely warn other parents so they, too, can recognize the signs before their babies slip away for good.
Gisele’s cooking
Über-model Gisele Bundchen, 44, has a third bun in the oven thanks to her mysterious jiu-jitsu lover.
The former Mrs Tom Brady, 44, might be a geriatric mother-in-waiting but she’s reportedly planning for a home birth. She’s also been accused of spiking the football in the chiseled face of her ex-husband who appears to have found out about the pregnancy when the rest of us did. Talk about roughing the passer!
Über-model Gisele Bundchen, 44, has a third bun in the oven thanks to her mysterious jiu-jitsu lover.
Trash talk
You think your ‘garbage’ don’t stink?
The waning days of the 2024 election are being dominated by finger-pointing over who has insulted America more.
Was it roast-comic Tony Hinchcliffe, who torched Puerto Rico as a ‘floating island of garbage’ at Trump’s Madison Square Garden rally? Or President Joe Biden who compared Trump supporters to trash?
Here’s the thing: Hinchcliffe is a professional clown. Biden is an elected one.
Make-up hack!
Speaking of awkward MSG moments: Did you catch Donald and Melania’s on-stage mime-smooch?
They looked like two electric eels trying not to shock each other.
Barron is evidence that they’re not completely averse to affection. Perhaps they’re just terrified of smudging the other’s foundation.
Barron is evidence that they’re not completely averse to affection. Perhaps they’re just terrified of smudging the other’s foundation.
Eastern tryst
And for your sleazy October Surprise…. Wacky Tim Walz reportedly had a steamy fling with the daughter of a Communist Party operative while he was teaching in the Far East more than four decades ago.
‘We talked for hours and hours, we stayed in bed, we had sex. He continued to buy me gifts,’ Elmer Dud’s alleged ex-lover Jenna Wang told the Mail last week.
The Great Wall came crashing down when Walz allegedly broke Wang’s heart after she asked him to put a ring on it.
As any Minnesota farm boy knows – there’s no reason to buy the cow if you can get the milk for free. But that doesn’t make it right.
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