A burlesque teacher who is a perfect match for her kidney patient fiancé has scrapped plans to donate her organ to him – because they’ve split up.
Mel Greenall and Jay Charles have agreed that the life-saving transplant should no longer go ahead because of the ill feelings between them.
Mr Charles, 40, beat odds of 100,000-to-one to discover his partner Ms Greenall, 45, was a match and he was due to undergo an operation in October.
But now Mr Charles, who has suffered two failed transplants, will have to start his search again and re-join the waiting list.
It could take him years to find another, as the demand for kidneys in the UK far outstrips the limited supply.
He admitted the pair were in desperate need of counselling and often ‘danced around’ speaking about the pending op, which created fear and anxiety.
The ex-teacher has blamed a lack of support from doctors as the main contributing factor to wrecking their five-year romance.
But Mr Charles claims the transplant coordination team simply ‘backed off’ once Ms Greenall, 45, also known as ‘Kitty’, discovered she was a match.
Now living in a one-bed flat in Whitby, he argued this led to resentment between the couple and ultimately doomed their relationship.
Jay Charles beat odds of 100,000-to-one to discover his partner Mel Greenall was a match and he was due to undergo an operation in October
Mr Charles, who spends three days a week travelling to a dialysis unit in Middlesbrough, said: ‘We simply didn’t see or hear from anyone. I couldn’t believe it.
‘As a couple struggling through renal failure together we desperately needed to speak to someone. Mel was donating a major organ to me, it’s a big deal.
‘I feel as though I’ve lost everything. Above all, though I’ve lost my life partner. I still love Kitty but I do understand why we can’t be together.
‘Renal failure is a severe lifelong illness – it’s difficult enough to live with without adding in all the social and psychological factors.’
He added: ‘Doctors repeatedly asked me if Mel would still carry on with plans to donate.
‘It was Mel and I that decided it would not be right because of the bad blood between us at the time.
‘Mel had told me she’d still donate but with so much ill feeling and resentment surrounding our breakup, I just felt it wouldn’t be right to go ahead.
Ms Greenall, a mother-of-two, told how she no longer recognised Mr Charles as the man she once loved after he became lost in his illness.
Mr Charles claims the transplant coordination team simply ‘backed off’ once Ms Greenall, 45, also known as ‘Kitty’, discovered she was a match.
Now living in a one-bed flat in Whitby, he argued this led to resentment between the couple and ultimately doomed their relationship
She said: ‘Jay was tired all the time. He’d come home from the hospital and just sleep.
‘I was having to do absolutely everything and it was becoming harder and harder for me to cope with what was going on.
‘When Jay was awake he was frustrated and angry. We’d argue a lot. Our money situation was becoming desperate too which didn’t help.
‘Our plight was reaching a pitch. I didn’t recognise Jay as the man I loved and the arguments were breaking me. It was a very difficult time for both of us.’
Mr Charles, of Whitby, North Yorkshire, was diagnosed with a rare blood condition aged 11 and has been in renal failure for 22 years.
Kidney failure is where the organ’s ability to do these things falls below 15 per cent of its normal capacity, causing toxins to build up in the blood.
The most effective treatment is a transplant, but demand for organs far outstrips supply.
And patients often endure waits of many years before doctors are able to find an organ that won’t be rejected by their immune system.
The University of California Davis Transplant Center claims the ‘chance of finding an exact match with an unrelated donor is about one in 100,000’.
Ms Greenall, a mother-of-two, told how she no longer recognised Mr Charles as the man she once loved after he became lost in his illness (pictured together)
He started seeing burlesque teacher Ms Greenall, also known as Kitty, five years ago after meeting at Whitby Goth Weekend.
However, four years into their relationship, Mr Charles became ill again after his second kidney transplant began to fail in October 2017.
He was told he needed a third one and his loving fiancée volunteered to offer to donate one of her kidneys.
Without a donated organ, Mr Charles would have had to stay on dialysis to remove a build-up of toxins in his blood until another could be found.
Match tests proved positive, and mother-of-two Ms Greenall was indeed a viable match for Mr Charles, who was stunned at the news.
She said: ‘I immediately asked the nurses on the renal unit if I could be tested to see if I would match… I knew I would. It was meant to be.
‘We’d always kinda joked about being perfect partners. Ever since day one, before I even knew that my transplant was failing.’
Mr Charles is now living in a one-bed flat in Whitby and spends three days a week travelling to a dialysis unit in Middlesbrough.