Laura Bishop, 20, opens up about her battle with anorexia

A 20-year-old woman who was convinced she could gain weight just from using lip balm has opened up about her crippling battle with anorexia.

Laura Bishop, from Albury NSW, revealed how she developed the eating disorder from the constant pressure to be thin at the tender age of 17.

As her condition deteriorated, the woman was so emaciated, she could only shop in the children’s section when she no longer fitted into women’s clothing.

Her illness saw her become obsessed with calorie counting – to an extent that she avoided chewing gum and using lip balm amid fears of adding the kilojoules to her waistline.

Speaking to Daily Mail Australia, the paramedic student – who dramatically lost half her body weight – spoke of how she managed to overcome the condition after falling into the grips of anorexia.

Laura Bishop has opened up about her battle with anorexia after losing half her body weight

The 20-year-old woman said she was convinced she could gain weight just from touching oil

‘To put it into perspective, I wouldn’t chew a piece of gum as I was terrified the two calories it contained would make me gain a few kilos,’ she told FEMAIL.

‘I wouldn’t use lip balm because I thought it contained kilojoules and I would scrub my hands raw if I ever touched oil because I was convinced that the fat could seep through my skin.’

The paramedic student – who dramatically lost half her body weight – spoke of how she managed to overcome the condition

Eventually, she developed a ‘fear’ of getting ‘fat’ so she removed meats, bread, dairy and even fruits from her diet.

‘As I crept into the underweight range, I was so happy that I vowed to myself that I would eat less in order for the number to go down quicker,’ Laura recalled.

And as her weight loss spiralled out of control, she was consumed by the eating disorder – an illness that saw an obsession with calorie counting and restricting her diet to next to nothing.

‘Never in a million years would I have thought I could’ve developed an eating disorder,’ she said.

She suffered excruciating pain, hair loss, dizziness, headaches, and her skin colour even turned grey after becoming ‘trapped in my own little world of torture’. 

‘At the time, I was a very sick girl both physically and mentally,’ she said. 

‘I was covered in bruises, my skin colour turned grey and the headaches never seemed to fade away.

‘I had to cut my long hair short as most of my hair had fallen out in handfuls. I had no more fat on my body to burn that my body started to eat away at my muscle, leaving me weak and in excruciating pain.

‘Even walking to my letter box became a struggle, leaving me feeling weak and unsteady. Every single bone was visible on my frail body that people were too scared to hug me.’

A normal heart rate for adults ranges from 60 to 100 beats a minute – but Laura’s heart rate plummeted to just 33 beats per minute.

‘Anorexia takes everything away from you – your period, your hair, your ability to function… but I just couldn’t stop,’ she said.

As her condition deteriorated, the woman was so emaciated, she could only shop in the children’s section when she no longer fitted into women’s clothing

She suffered excruciating pain, hair loss, dizziness, headaches, and her skin colour even turned grey after becoming ‘trapped in my own little world of torture’

The young woman said she became so fragile, she was advised by her doctors to stop driving and defer university until she recovered.

‘I remember waking up at 3am one morning with intense pain in my chest and legs. I was so scared,’ Laura said.

‘But instead of calling an ambulance, I just laid there in my bed, curled up in a ball saying to myself that it was just anxiety and it would soon pass.’

The then sporty teenager was exercising excessively and eating less – slowly falling into the grips of depression, without realising what she was doing to herself.

‘An eating disorder is a mental illness, the physical aspects are just the side-effects. In saying that, the other battle to my eating disorder was my mental state,’ she said.

‘Last year, I no longer wanted to exist, I was depressed and truly unhappy with the person I was that I was using my obsession with weight loss and food as a coping mechanism for my struggles.

‘I would leave the house at 10pm to go to the gym and force myself to run on the treadmill for two hours. 

‘Some days I would starve myself until dinner, eating only a tin of tuna and spinach while lying to my parents that I had eaten lunch also.

‘People who didn’t know I was struggling were so envious of my willpower, though this was only feeding my hunger to be the thinnest I could be.

‘I isolated myself from people, becoming trapped in my own little world of torture. I cried myself to sleep almost every night and would experience terrifying nightmares waking up in sweat and tears.’

She became fixated to calorie counting where should would know the contents of a celery stick and a sausage sizzle off the top of her head

Laura decided to speak out about about her healing process in the hope of inspiring others

Laura said she was always a ‘fit and active’ teenager, who loved playing sports and was a social butterfly at school.

But growing up, she always felt insecure where she would go to extreme lengths to hide her body from everyone, including her family.

‘Growing up I have always been self-conscious and have always had very little confidence in myself,’ she said.

‘In my early teenage years, I would avoid going swimming at any cost because there was not a chance I would wear swimwear in front of people, let alone my family.

‘In summer, I would wear long dresses to cover my muscular thighs and if I were to ever leave the house, I would sacrifice the ability to breathe by wearing body shaping underwear. 

‘I was envious of people who were smaller than me – the girls who were confident enough to wear bikinis and shorts down to the beach. I believed that it was just my body type and that I could never be a size eight.’

She had many events leading up to her ‘development’ of anorexia, including her sister’s debutante ball, a beach holiday and starting university in a new city.

‘I no longer wanted to be the “fat” sister standing next to my smaller sisters in photographs,’ she said.

‘I didn’t want to be told to buy the bigger size when trying clothes on in the shop and I definitely didn’t want to be the one sitting by the pool instead of in it.’

Her illness saw an obsession with calorie counting where she even avoided chewing gum and using lip balm amid fears of adding the kilojoules to her waistline

And so, she set herself ‘realistic goals’ such as losing 20 kilograms and fitting into a size small dress within six months.

‘As I started eating healthier and walking the dog regularly, progress was slow so I started researching different types of weight loss programs,’ she said.

‘I looked at what Victoria’s Secret models ate and “How to lose 10kg in 10 weeks”.’

But one of her tipping points came after she was told to lose weight by a personal trainer when she decided to sign up for a membership card at a local gym.

‘The personal trainer asked me a few questions on why I was joining. Filling out the long form, she asked me: “So why are you joining up?”,’ Laura recalled. 

‘I replied, “To gain strength and feel better about myself”. Though she looked at me and said, “Oh, and what about losing some weight”. 

‘I remember walking out feeling ashamed and embarrassed. Staring at myself in the window reflection of my car, I became aware of myself and afraid of what people saw of me.’

As her weight gradually dropped, Laura said she was bombarded with compliments about how ‘skinny’ she had become.

‘At the start, I felt immense pressure to stay thin from the people surrounding me. Every kilogram I lost, people started to notice and compliment on how much better I was looking,’ she said.

‘My friends, family members, and even strangers down the street would stop and mention my weight loss, praising my hard work and effort. 

‘Even when I was in the depth of anorexia, I would get messages from girls through social media requesting all my exercise and diet tips – and that really hurt me most.

‘The compliments were the fuel to the fire of my eating disorder, and I couldn’t stop.’

She has made a remarkable transformation to her body as she continues with her recovery

She became fixated to calorie counting where should would know the contents of a celery stick and a sausage sizzle off the top of her head.

‘If there were a competition in calorie counting, I was almost certain that I would be crowned champion,’ she said.

‘I could tell you the calories in pretty much anything, like how a single seedless grape contains three or that a row of chocolate holds 132.

‘I could tell you the content in a stick of celery, a Bunnings sausage in bread, a teaspoon of oil or something as stupid as a Mentos breath mint.’

When analysing nutrition labels, she would record calorie intake on ‘absolutely every single food item I ate’.

‘It became my forte, I was dropping kilos in no time. Everything started to become a fear and I grew a belief that eating food would make me fat,’ she said.

‘As the list grew bigger of my forbidden foods, I ended up only feeling safe eating a handful of vegetables each day and removed meats, bread, dairy and even fruit out of my diet.’

The then sporty teenager was exercising excessively and eating less – slowly falling into the grips of depression, without realising what she was doing to herself

Far from getting better, Laura said she didn’t believe she was ‘sick enough’ to seek help until she broke down in front of her parents.

‘When I was at my absolute lowest, I still didn’t believe I was sick enough to receive help. Though I knew I was struggling,’ she said.

‘I was too afraid to admit it and was too ashamed to ask for support. I would always end up in tears so I started to wear baggy clothing to hide my body.

‘My mum was the first to notice a change in myself. She would look at me with fear on her face and tell me that I was looking sick.

‘But it wasn’t until one night, my Dad called to say they needed to have a serious talk with me – a night I will never forget.’

Her parents pleaded with her to seek professional help – and if she didn’t recover, she would be admitted to hospital.

‘My family would drive three-and-a-half hours every weekend to visit me in Canberra just to ensure I was getting better,’ she said.

‘I am so grateful for everything they have done for me, they a truly one of the greatest inspirations in my life.’

She revealed how she managed to overcome the illness after falling into the grips of anorexia

And her childhood dream of becoming a paramedic inspired her turn her life around.

‘I am so passionate about my degree and caring for others,’ she said. 

‘When it was my first class, we were allowed to look around the ambulances and practice using the equipment and stretchers. As I was so weak, I went to lift the stretcher and could not lift it from the ground.

‘I was also told to resit the fitness test required to study the degree. That was a big turning point for me, and a motivator to get stronger.’

And more than a year on, Laura has made a remarkable transformation to her body as she continues with her recovery.

‘My mind set has definitely changed. I am seeing myself as what my body can do, not for what it looks like,’ she said. 

‘I feel strong and have never had so much energy in my life. I have honestly surprised myself with how far I have come, especially in my studies.

Looking at a skeletal photograph of herself, Laura said she can’t help but feel ‘sad’ of a sick girl who was ‘not living her life. 

‘When I look at a before-and-after photo of myself, I feel sad as I am taken back to the memories of what I was going through at the time,’ she said.

‘I see a frail and lifeless young girl who was not living her life. When I see a photo now, I am immediately taken to my smile and see how my eyes glow with happiness.

‘I can see a girl who is bound to have a good time and make everlasting memories with the people she loves. 

‘I am becoming happier with the way I am and slowly accepting myself. I am stronger than ever, fitter than ever and have found passion and hope.

‘Though some days I fall a step back, I push myself harder to push myself two steps forward.’

The young woman said she has never felt so ‘energetic’ and ‘healthy’ in her life – as she hopes sufferers can draw hope from her experiences

The young woman said she has never felt so ‘energetic’ and ‘healthy’ in her life – as she hopes sufferers can draw hope from her experiences.

‘If there was a cure for any eating disorder, I would have already sold my soul for it because I truly do not wish this upon my worst enemy,’ she said. 

‘For me, each day becomes easier and a little less dark. As each day passed, I would uncover a little piece of Laura as if it was like sun rays pouring through clouds.

‘Today, I am so much stronger and have so much more energy and spirit. I am living proof that one can achieve almost anything. 

‘I am proud to say that I can run, I am studying the course of my dreams, and I can finally smile again.’

Laura has decided to speak out about the illness, and share her before-and-after photos of her healing process in the hope of inspiring others.

‘Even in the sea of people that surround us, I just want you to know that you are definitely living with this alone,’ she said. 

‘Even though you may feel as it is just you against this whole wide world, it is only just this horrible sickness that is stopping you from experiencing the life this world has to offer. 

‘No one will ever understand the true feeling of an eating disorder until they have fallen into the hands of one and no one will ever understand how hard it is to live each day when your mind is constantly filled with thoughts that bring you down. 

‘But being open about your feelings will not only help you but the ones who love you make a sense of what helps.

‘I just want you to know that as hard as it is to think it right now, things do become easier. It is going to take a lot of time, a lot of commitment and a whole lot of determination to reach this point but I know in my heart that you will get there.

‘Recovery takes a long time, it is a lengthy process and will not happen overnight. An eating disorder does not define who you are, you are still the person under the grey cloud that covers.

‘Of course, there are going to be those incredibly hard days where you just want to fall back into the hands of anorexia, but I found that slowly finding a little piece of me each time definitely makes recovery worth it.’ 

For confidential support 24/7, please call LifeLine on 13 11 14.