A mother, whose son took his own life while being ‘obsessed’ with revising for his GCSEs, has called for every school in Britain to have counsellors.
Emma Oliver’s 15-year-old-son, Daniel Long, from Leeds, killed himself due to the stress and anxiety caused by his exams.
The A-star student, who had wanted to be a lawyer, was terrified he would forget everything and as a result would spend hours on end studying at the kitchen table.
His struggle took its toll in February last year when he ended his life, with an inquest ruling that he died from exam pressure.
Now, his admin assistant mother is calling on the government to provide funding to have a counsellor readily available for children who may be struggling.
Emma Oliver’s (right in left image) 15-year-old-son, Daniel Long (right, with his sister Chelsea), from Leeds, killed himself due to the stress and anxiety caused by his exams
Emma Oliver, Daniel Long and sister Chelsea Oliver. The mother of the GCSE student, who took his own life due to exam pressure, is calling for all schools to have at least one counsellor to avoid similar tragedies
She has helped set up an online petition, in collaboration with her local radio, asking for a counsellor to be available in every English school. As of Monday, it had more than 4,500 signatures.
Ms Oliver said: ‘My son died by suicide in February last year and the coroner ruled it was due to the acute anxiety resulting from exam pressure.
‘He dreamed of being a barrister or a politician and was very clever. He was an A- star student.
‘Daniel was in his final year of school studying for his GCSEs. He’d mentioned in the past that he was worried about his exams. I just knew myself that he was feeling down.
‘I told him ‘you’re fine, you’ll easily pass’. I knew he was going to do well. He’d been getting As and A*s in his mocks and I had no concerns.
‘Whenever I tried to speak to him about it, reassuring him that it was just a piece of paper and wouldn’t define him, he’d just tell me I didn’t understand and felt like he wasn’t going to remember everything.
‘He was most concerned about his maths because he didn’t understand angles. People tell you it gets better in time. It doesn’t, it gets worse.
‘I wouldn’t wish this on my worst enemy which is why I’m doing what I’m doing. Just talking about it p****s me off.
The A-star student, who had wanted to be a lawyer, was terrified he would forget everything and as a result would spend hours on end studying at the kitchen table
‘I was annoyed that he couldn’t see further than his GCSEs.
‘He took his life all over exams but actually, in the long run, is it worth it?’
On the Sunday of his death, Daniel had seemed restless, walking up and down the stairs as his mum cooked a roast.
When she heard a loud bang, she raced over to find out what had happened to discover her son on the floor.
Ms Oliver said: ‘Before he died, he would be constantly sat at the kitchen table studying. He wouldn’t eat or go out with his friends.
‘I was cooking on the Sunday and Daniel had gone out the night before with friends. I said to him he could revise all day if he liked.
‘He was pacing up and down the stairs. I asked him if he was alright and he said he was fine, so I started cooking Sunday dinner.
‘Twenty minutes later I heard a loud bang.
‘I gave him CPR and managed to get a heartbeat, but the damage was already done and he died two days later.’
His struggle took its toll in February last year when he ended his life, with an inquest ruling that he died from exam pressure
Team Daniel who raised £12,355 for Martin House Children’s Hospice, and are give counselling to Daniel’s family
Following Daniel’s death, Ms Oliver claims his school offered little support to his close friends, most of who failed their GCSEs due to the shock and grief they were feeling
Following Daniel’s death, Ms Oliver claims his school offered little support to his close friends, most of who failed their GCSEs due to the shock and grief they were feeling.
Ms Oliver and Daniel’s friends’ parents allegedly begged the school for counselling but the waiting list was six months and so she had to arrange the counselling for them herself through Martin House Children’s Hospice.
Martin House provide bereavement support to families, often for two to three years after their child’s death. They also offer bereavement support to families whose child did not have the opportunity to use the hospice, like in the case of Daniel’s mum and sister, Chelsea Oliver, 23.
Ms Oliver said: ‘Now I’m trying to get a counsellor into every school. I know schools are big places and one probably isn’t enough but it’s a start.
‘I rang up the school (Bruntcliffe Academy, West Yorkshire) in January and told them that I was worried about Daniel but they never got back to me.. In the coroner’s inquest, the head teacher said ‘I’ve got 900 other students to look after.’
Emma said she will never come to terms with the fact that Daniel (pictured on holiday in Tunisia) – whose inquest at Wakefield Coroner’s Court on September 1, recorded a verdict of suicide – has gone
Ms Oliver and Daniel’s friends’ parents allegedly begged the school for counselling but the waiting list was six months and so she had to arrange the counselling for them herself through Martin House Children’s Hospice. Pictured is Daniel Long as a child baking cupcakes
His lungs, kidneys, stomach, pancreas and liver have now all had recipients – as Daniel (pictued as a toddler) apparently always wanted to help people
‘Since Daniel’s death I’ve been raising money for Martin House Children’s Hospice who provided me and my daughter with counselling and also helped Daniel’s friends come to terms with their grief.
‘I’ve had counsellors, teachers and parents all contact me saying how much they think this would benefit students. I’ve had many parents messaging me to say they’re worried about their children’s wellbeing.
‘Many agree their child would benefit from having someone outside of the family to talk to.
‘Daniel’s friends were really upset and shocked. Me and other parents rang the school to see if the kids could have counselling, but we were told it’d take six months. They never got it.
‘His close friends all took their GCSEs and most failed them and I’ve had to arrange the counselling myself for them through Martin House.’
Emma believes her son’s (pictured on his eighth birthday) problems started when he became obsessed with revising for his GCSEs in January last year
Last year, PAPYRUS, a charity for the prevention of young suicide, launched a campaign called Save The Class of 2018 which aimed to ‘build suicide-safer schools and colleges’ by providing free materials for teachers.
Chief executive of PAPYRUS, Ged Flynn, said: ‘Exam pressure can be extremely stressful for many students and for some it can become overwhelming, despite every support from their families, as was the case with Daniel, who was obviously a high-achiever and passionate about gaining the grades for his chosen career.
‘For some the thought of failure can become overwhelming.
‘Daniel’s mother is to be applauded in her drive to raise awareness that there is life after exams and that there are always other career options.’
For confidential support call the Samaritans on 116123 or visit a local Samaritans branch, see www.samaritans.org for details