Madison Beer, 24, reveals she contemplated suicide at 16

Madison Beer gets vulnerable in her upcoming memoir The Half of It, due out April 25.

In an excerpt shared with People, the 24-year-old music artist – who was spotted at Coachella – details a moment when she contemplated suicide at the age of 16 in 2015.

Part of the extract reads: ‘Once, on a particularly heavy day, I climbed over the edge of my balcony in LA and stood there, a million thoughts running through my head as I stared down at the ground, my eyes going in and out of focus.’

The harrowing experience took place at the juncture of her split from her record label and having her private, explicit photos leak online.

The pop star told the publication earlier this year, ‘I really wanted to write this book now because I thought sharing some of the ups and downs in my life might be able to help other people navigate and relate.’

Beer came to fame as a teenager when Justin Bieber posted a link to one of her covers. She released her debut single, Melodies, in 2013. In 2018, Beer released her debut EP, As She Pleases.

Madison wrote in one part of the literary work, ‘While negotiating the details of going independent was rocky, the emotional turmoil of being dropped was harder to work through.’

She exercised transparency as she continued, ‘It wasn’t just a bump in my career—it was a hit to my personal life, too. 

‘Coupled with the trauma of having my nudes leaked, it completely shattered the image I had of Los Angeles and the industry.’

The Harper Books-published excerpt went on, ‘These two big, life-altering events happening back to back knocked me off my feet, tilted my world on its axis, and left me feeling like I had no idea who I was. 

‘I didn’t know who I could trust anymore, and I didn’t even know I needed to seek help for the way I was feeling.’

In another part of the writing Madison explained what happened once she was discovered on the balcony.

‘Once, on a particularly heavy day, I climbed over the edge of my balcony in LA and stood there, a million thoughts running through my head as I stared down at the ground, my eyes going in and out of focus. I don’t think I would have jumped. 

‘It was more about knowing that I could—that I had a way out if it became too much. Still, I lingered there for a long while, chilled by the fact that I wasn’t all that scared of being up so high.’

Dark: The harrowing experience took place at the juncture of her split from her record label and having her private, explicit photos leak online

Motivation: ‘I really wanted to write this book now because I thought sharing some of the ups and downs in my life might be able to help other people navigate and relate,’ Madison said 

She wrote that her brother discovered her and immediately called for their parents.

‘My little brother found me and screamed for my parents, and as I climbed back over, listening to them all freak out, I was only confused why they were making such a big deal out of it. 

‘The thought of killing myself was so normal to me at that point that I had forgotten it wasn’t something everyone pondered on a daily basis,’ she penned.

Elsewhere she reflected, ‘It was a lot of conflicting emotions for a newly sixteen-year-old girl to try to shoulder on her own. I felt like I was my own worst enemy. 

‘I retreated more and more into myself, and it was the beginning of some of the darkest years of my life, starting at age sixteen and following me into my twenties. 

‘There were many times—just like the night my nudes were leaked—that I felt so backed into a corner I thought the only way out was to end my life.’

The book was first announced in February, with Madison stating then, ‘I hope by sharing my honest journey that perhaps someone that wanted to hide behind a keyboard to be mean or poke fun at someone else’s expense thinks twice before they hit “send.”‘

She added, ‘I hope that we can find the strength to support each other and that we can work to treat others in the way we would want to be treated.’

Cozy: Madison posed with a copy of her book in a recent Instagram post

Dedication: Madison dedicated the piece of writing to her family and her younger self

In her most recent Instagram post, Madison wrote to her 35.8 million followers, ‘less than two weeks. The Half Of It will be yours so so soon. my memoir, my story, my life and conversations i’m finally ready to have. pre order in bio !!! x.’

Her mother Tracie Beer showed support as she wrote in the comments, ‘This book will truly help so many people in so many ways!’

The proud parent added, ‘So proud of you for being so vulnerable.’

In February Madison took to the photo-sharing platform to post the dedication page, and front and back covers.

She said in a heartfelt caption, ‘my memoir, The Half of It, will be yours april 25th. it feels truly surreal to be announcing this book and i am so excited to share my story with you in a way i never have before. 

‘from the reality of being signed at twelve, to everything that followed, where i am now, and my journey of reconciling with everything that came before. it has taken me a lot of extremely dark times to get here but i feel incredibly ready to tell you these chapters of my story. i hope you love it. i can’t wait to reintroduce myself to you.

you can now pre order my book using the link in my bio. can’t believe this day has come. thank you already.’

All set: The singer-songwriter posted a photo of a shelf holding copies of her book

Back cover: The back cover of the book featured an up-close snapshot of Madison’s closed eyes

The Biebs link: Beer came to fame as a teenager when Justin Bieber posted a link to one of her covers. She released her debut single, Melodies, in 2013. In 2018, Beer released her debut EP, As She Pleases. Seen in 2022