Madonna’s brother’s death marks end of the only ‘real’ relationship she’s ever had: How Christopher Ciccone turned singer into an ‘evil queen’

Their relationship was so intimate that it was more like a ‘marriage’ than a brother-sister dynamic. 

Christopher Ciccone, who died on Friday aged 63, worked as his sister Madonna’s backing dancer, personal dresser and art director until their very public feud erupted in 2000.

He described being the ‘one person’ who could take it when the singer screamed at him backstage and how he was the only one in her circle who knew the truth about her passed, which she frequently ‘mythologised’.  

However, the sibling’s relationship began to fracture in the late 1990s – as Christopher began to grow increasingly resentful over having given up his artistic dreams to support his sister’s career. 

In 2000, Christopher famously labelled Madonna an ‘evil queen’ in a leaked email, where he lamented ‘giving up [his] f***ing life’ for his sister’s ‘mediocre talent’.

Eight years later, Madonna’s estranged brother reportedly earned ‘seven figures’ to team up with author Wendy Leigh to co-write the tell-all book Life with My Sister Madonna.

In the 352-page book, Christopher made a cruel jibe about his sister’s ‘fat’ midriff during The Virgin Tour back in 1985 and said Madonna would become a ‘basket case’ when being interviewed on TV.

What’s more, he also described the vicious cycle where dancers would ‘fall under Madonna’s spell’ only to later be ‘hurtled out in the cold’ after getting ‘too close for comfort’.

Here FEMAIL looks back at some of Christopher’s most scathing public jabs at his sister before their reconciliation in 2012. 

Christopher famously wrote a tell-all about his famous sibling titled Life with my Sister Madonna, which caused a falling out between the pair; they are seen in 1995

‘I gave up my f***ing life to make you the evil queen you are today’ 

In 1985, Christopher turned his back on his promising career as an artist in New York to become his younger sister’s backing dancer. He would later work as her dresser and then became the art director for her 1990 Blond Ambition tour.

However, he became resentful over turning his back on his own artistic career to support his sister. 

Christopher wrote in a scathing email in 2000: ‘You have never in the entire time I have worked for you since 1985 paid me even close to what I was worth.

‘I gave up my f***ing life to help make you the evil queen you are today… 15 years listening to your b****ing, egotistical rantings, mediocre talent, and a lack of taste that would stun the ages.

The singer posted a carousel of photos on Instagram featuring her and Christopher, who died following a battle with cancer

The singer posted a carousel of photos on Instagram featuring her and Christopher, who died following a battle with cancer

Pictured: Madonna going to her first communion in 1967 with her siblings - as Christopher sits in the front seat

Pictured: Madonna going to her first communion in 1967 with her siblings – as Christopher sits in the front seat

‘Every ounce of talent you have, you have sucked dry from me and the people around you… I certainly have never worked for you for the money…

‘Now you accuse me of lying and cheating you… you’ve got some f***ing nerve… as usual… you have lost all sense of reality… 

‘I guess I always thought that one day you’d see my worth and behave accordingly… but you never did… a little f***ing respect was all I ever wanted from you and you couldn’t even manage that.’

In his book, Christopher claims he only became a backing dancer in the first place because someone dropped out and Madonna desperately needed a replacement. He says he was only paid $200 for the Lucky Star video. 

Detailing some of his worst experiences working with his sister, Christopher said Madonna called him a ‘piece of s**t’ for not pushing out the little finger on her long black gloves.

On another occasion, he claims Madonna left him close to tears when she yelled: ‘Hurry the f*** up or I’ll f***ing fire you right now’.

Madonna said of her brother's final days on Instagram: 'I did my best to keep him alive as long as possible. He was in so much pain towards the end. Once again, we held hands We closed our eyes and we danced.Together'

Madonna said of her brother’s final days on Instagram: ‘I did my best to keep him alive as long as possible. He was in so much pain towards the end. Once again, we held hands We closed our eyes and we danced.Together’

Although he considered quitting the job, Christopher said he was the only person Madonna could really speak to – and therefore decided to ‘endure the abuse’.

During his time as Madonna’s dresser, her brother says that his peers would have struggled to cater for so many costume changes – but it was necessary for the amount the star sweated on stage.

As part of the job, Christopher would have to pick up his sister’s ‘sweaty underwear’ off of dressing room floors – and admitted he would be ‘humiliated if anyone in his life knew’ about it. 

Everyone assumed he was by his sister’s side as a companion and assistant, rather than her dresser, and he did not set them straight.  

Jibe at Madonna’s ‘fat’ midriff 

In his tell-all book, Christopher delved into how Madonna dealt with negative reviews for her The Virgin Tour in 1985.

Pictured: Madonna during her The Virgin Tour in 1985 - when critics cruelly wrote about her 'fat' midriff in reviews

Pictured: Madonna during her The Virgin Tour in 1985 – when critics cruelly wrote about her ‘fat’ midriff in reviews

Madge wrote on Instagram on Monday: 'He was a painter a poet and a visionary. I admired him. He had impeccable taste. And a sharp tongue, Which he sometimes used against me but I always forgave him. We soared the highest heights together. And floundered in the lowest lows. Somehow, we always found each other again and We held hands and we kept dancing' (pictured in 2008)

Madge wrote on Instagram on Monday: ‘He was a painter a poet and a visionary. I admired him. He had impeccable taste. And a sharp tongue, Which he sometimes used against me but I always forgave him. We soared the highest heights together. And floundered in the lowest lows. Somehow, we always found each other again and We held hands and we kept dancing’ (pictured in 2008)

Although Madonna would ‘pretend not to care’ and throw the newspapers in the bin, Christopher said his sister would seek always reassurance from him 10 minutes later.

He wrote: ‘She will ask, “Christopher, do you really think they were right? Does my midriff really look fat?”

‘I tell her that of course they were wrong, of course it didn’t – even though it did – and she is happy.’

That same year, Madonna famously posed naked for Playboy – and Christopher admitted that it occurred to him that his sister was no longer ‘extremely skinny’.

Around this time, Madonna began booking TV appearances – and Christopher said his sister became a ‘basket case’ in front of the camera if she wasn’t performing.

‘Stingy’ with her family 

At the time Christopher was writing his book, Madonna had an estimated net worth of $600m and would happily donate millions to charity.

But when it came to looking after her own family, Christopher claimed Madonna wasn’t quite so generous.

In Life With my Sister Madonna, Christopher detailed how their maternal grandmother treated all seven children equally – despite his sister’s enormous success.

Madonna, centre, in 1970 with, from left, sister Paula, Uncle Chris, brothers Christopher and Marty, sister Melanie, stepmother Joan and father Silvio

Madonna, centre, in 1970 with, from left, sister Paula, Uncle Chris, brothers Christopher and Marty, sister Melanie, stepmother Joan and father Silvio

The 66-year-old Queen of Pop was closer to Christopher than any of her seven siblings, first hiring him as an uncredited back-up dancer in her music videos for Holiday (1983) and Lucky Star (1984, pictured)

The 66-year-old Queen of Pop was closer to Christopher than any of her seven siblings, first hiring him as an uncredited back-up dancer in her music videos for Holiday (1983) and Lucky Star (1984, pictured)

When Madonna first became famous beyond her wildest dreams, Christopher says he suggested that she pay off their grandmother’s mortgage and employ a cook and driver to look after her in her twilight years. 

According to the scorned author, their grandmother’s ‘refusal to deify’ Madonna could be the reason why the star only ever sent her $500-a-month for help with her household bills. 

He added: ‘When I think about Madonna’s wealth, I can’t help but think she’s being stingy with the grandmother who helped raise us.’ 

In addition, Christopher claimed Madonna went back on her promise of letting him stay with her when he first moved to New York to become an artist – and eventually making him sleep on the floor.

Pictured: Madonna performing on stage at Wembley Stadium for her 1993 tour Girlie Show - when Christopher was still working for her

Pictured: Madonna performing on stage at Wembley Stadium for her 1993 tour Girlie Show – when Christopher was still working for her

Madonna publicly outed Ciccone in her 1991 interview with The Advocate: 'My brother Christopher's gay, and he and I have always been the closest members of my family' (pictured in 1991)

Madonna publicly outed Ciccone in her 1991 interview with The Advocate: ‘My brother Christopher’s gay, and he and I have always been the closest members of my family’ (pictured in 1991)

How Madonna ‘outed’ Christopher 

In her 1991 interview with The Advocate, Madonna famously outed her brother – telling the reporter: ‘My brother Christopher’s gay and he and I have always been the closest members of my family.’

In his book, Christopher opened up about how he struggled to understand his sister’s decision to share such a personal detail of his life.

He wrote in his book: ‘Without asking me, without giving me a say in the decision, she has taken it upon herself to out me. 

‘I know that she hasn’t for a moment considered whether my homosexuality is public knowledge, the reality that our grandmother doesn’t know about it, and neither does our extended family nor anyone outside our circle of friends.

‘Besides, it has always been my choice whether, when, or when to come out, not Madonna’s.’

Pictured: Madonna with her brother Christopher Ciccone - who passed away of cancer aged 63 last week

Pictured: Madonna with her brother Christopher Ciccone – who passed away of cancer aged 63 last week 

‘Madonna’s voice is too thin and lacks soul’ 

Elsewhere in his book, Christopher made a dig at Madonna’s singing voice and labelled her a ‘showman’ who didn’t undergo rigorous training.

He explained: ‘My sister’s unwillingness to submit to the drudgery of regular singing lessons is a by-product of the supreme self-confidence with which she was born.’

During one of her tours, Christopher said that his sister came to realise that her voice was ‘too thin for the demands [she was] placing on it’.

As such, he claimed Madonna relied heavily on backing singers Niki and Donna to ‘mirror’ hers and ‘provide the soul’.

He continued: ‘Niki has a better voice than Madonna. Her voice is fully trained, and Madonna fights to keep her at bay because Niki is fully capable of drowning her out and often does.’

To prevent her backing singer taking any limelight, Christopher claimed his sister ordered Niki’s microphone be switched off.

Madonna and Christopher Ciccone during The 70th Annual Academy Awards in 1998 - when their relationship began to fracture

Madonna and Christopher Ciccone during The 70th Annual Academy Awards in 1998 – when their relationship began to fracture

Madonna is ‘utterly unable to laugh at herself’ 

What’s more, Christopher went on to criticise his sister’s inability to be ‘truly funny’ – something he puts down to the tragic loss of their mother when they were children.

Madonna was named after her late mother, who was French-Canadian and sadly passed away of breast cancer aged 30.

The singer, who was only five at the time, has said she would be a completely different person if her mother had not died so young.

In 1966, Madonna’s father Tony married the family’s housekeeper Joan Gustafson and they had two children, Jennifer and Mario.

Tony’s eldest children adjusted with difficulty. Madonna, particularly unhappy about her father’s remarriage, rebelled, straining their relationship for many years.

In his book, Christopher says that his sister is the ‘world’s worst joke teller’ and he can’t help but cringe when she ‘always botches the punch line’.

In 1993, Madonna embarked on her Girlie Show tour, which involved dressing up as a clown for a section of the show. 

Although Christopher witnessed his sister being ‘worshipped’ by the crowds of fans, he admitted that Madonna’s ‘sad clown eyes betray a profound truth’ about her.

According to him, Madonna’s ‘soul will always be pervaded by a secret sadness’.

As well as being ‘utterly unable to laugh at herself’, Christopher added that his sister’s favourite phrase to tell her team was: ‘This isn’t a democracy.’

Pictured: the cover of Christopher Ciccon'es 2008 book Life with My Sister Madonna, which was written following a falling out

Pictured: the cover of Christopher Ciccon’es 2008 book Life with My Sister Madonna, which was written following a falling out

Exposes Madonna’s ‘fabricated’ rags-to-riches story 

In 1975, Madonna enrolled at the University of Michigan on a dance scholarship – but dropped out two years later to move to New York.

In interviews, the star would say that she moved to the Big Apple with just $35 and strolled to Times Square because she didn’t have anywhere else to go.

However, Christopher says this is ‘pure mythology’ and insisted his sister was a ‘middle-class girl with plenty of contacts in Manhattan’.

According to Christopher, his sister may well have slept at the Music Building – but only in the hopes of catching the attention of a producer.

Madonna’s brother also claimed that his sister fabricated stories about having to babysit her siblings because she was the oldest girl of the family. 

Pictured: Madonna performing in Rio de Janeiro, Brazil in May 2024. In his tell-all book, Christopher also criticised how Madonna treated her dancers on tour and described how he watched them 'fall under her spell' time and time again

Pictured: Madonna performing in Rio de Janeiro, Brazil in May 2024. In his tell-all book, Christopher also criticised how Madonna treated her dancers on tour and described how he watched them ‘fall under her spell’ time and time again

How Madonna ‘used people’ to get what she wants 

In March 1981, Camille Barbone became Madonna’s first manager – and the pair worked together for the next 11 months.

In his book, Christopher claimed that his sister would happily flirt with Camille – who was openly gay – to get what she wanted. 

He added: ‘I doubt that she and Camille had more than a business relationship, but true to Madonna’s pattern, I am certain she dangled just the right amount of sexy bait necessary to hook Camille.’

What’s more, Christopher claimed that Madonna took no interest in his personal life ‘unless it impacted her or served her career in some way’ – and proceeded to largely ignore his partner Danny.

When she was cast in the 1985 movie Desperately Seeking Susan, Madonna’s manager’s told Christopher that his services were no longer needed.

He added: ‘I still feel slightly abandoned, another emotion I am starting to associate with my sister, but it isn’t a big thing.’ 

Madonna’s ‘cold’ treatment of dancers 

Following her brother's death at the age of 63 last week, Madonna posted this undated image on Instagram

Following her brother’s death at the age of 63 last week, Madonna posted this undated image on Instagram

On top of this, Christopher also criticised how Madonna treated her dancers on tour and described how he watched them ‘fall under her spell’ time and time again.

The star’s brother outlined the five stage process – which began when dancers became ‘disillusioned with the cold world outside’ before ‘luxuriating in the sunlight of Madonna’s warmth and attention’.

After this, Christopher said the ‘coldest place of all’ was to find yourself in his sister’s inner circle, which she would then find ‘too close for comfort’.

As a result, he says Madonna would see these chosen dancers as a ‘liability’, who she would cast aside abruptly and never see them again.

On Sunday, the singer posted a carousel of photos to her Instagram featuring her and Christopher, who died following a battle with cancer.

In a lengthy caption she honoured her sibling and noted the pair had been able to reconcile prior to his death. 

She wrote: ‘My brother Christopher is gone. He was the closest human to me for so long. Its hard to explain our bond. But it grew out of an understanding that we were different and society was going to give us a hard time for not following the status quo.’

In his 2000 email to his sister, Christopher wrote: 'Now you accuse me of lying and cheating you… you've got some f***ing nerve… as usual… you have lost all sense of reality… I guess I always thought that one day you'd see my worth and behave accordingly… but you never did… a little f***ing respect was all I ever wanted from you and you couldn't even manage that'

In his 2000 email to his sister, Christopher wrote: ‘Now you accuse me of lying and cheating you… you’ve got some f***ing nerve… as usual… you have lost all sense of reality… I guess I always thought that one day you’d see my worth and behave accordingly… but you never did… a little f***ing respect was all I ever wanted from you and you couldn’t even manage that’

Madonna said in her tribute to her brother: 'The last few years have not been easy. We did not speak for sometime but when my brother got sick, we found our way back to each other. I did my best to keep him alive as long as possible. He was in so much pain towards the end. Once again, we held hands. We closed our eyes and we danced together. I'm glad he's not suffering anymore. There will never be anyone like him. I know he's dancing somewhere' (pictured in 2022)

Madonna said in her tribute to her brother: ‘The last few years have not been easy. We did not speak for sometime but when my brother got sick, we found our way back to each other. I did my best to keep him alive as long as possible. He was in so much pain towards the end. Once again, we held hands. We closed our eyes and we danced together. I’m glad he’s not suffering anymore. There will never be anyone like him. I know he’s dancing somewhere’ (pictured in 2022)

‘We took each other‘s hands and we danced through the madness of our childhood. In fact dance was a kind of superglue that held us together.

‘Discovering Dance in our small Midwestern town saved me and then my brother came along, and it saved him too. My ballet Teacher, also named Christopher- created a safe space for my brother to be Gay, a word that was not spoken or even whispered where we lived.’

She went on: ‘When I finally got the courage to go to New York to become a Dancer. My brother followed. And again we took each other’s hands, and we danced through the madness of New York City!’

‘We devoured Art and Music And Film like hungry animals. we were in the epicenter of all of these things exploding.’

‘We danced through the madness of the AIDS epidemic,’ the lengthy tribute continued. 

‘We went to funerals and we cried, and we went dancing. We danced together on stage in the beginning of my career and eventually, he became my the Creative. Director, of many tours. When it came to good taste, my brother was the Pope, and you had to kiss the ring to get his blessing.’

‘We defied the Roman Catholic Church, The Police, the Moral Majority and all Authority figures that got in the way of Artistic freedom!’

‘My brother was right by my side. He was a painter a poet and a visionary. I admired him. He had impeccable taste. And a sharp tongue, Which he sometimes used against me but I always forgive him.’

‘We soared the highest heights together. And floundered in the lowest lows. Somehow, we always found each other again and We held hands and we kept dancing.’

‘The last few years have not been easy. We did not speak for sometime but When my brother got sick. We found our way back to each other.’

‘I did my best to keep him alive as long as possible. He was in so much pain towards the end. Once again, we held hands We closed our eyes and we danced. Together.’ 

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