Ten seconds in paradise led to a whole night of hell for Mikey, who triggered a premature evacuation when his lighting fast finish became the joke of the night.
Married At First Sight proved it’s willing to go to any lengths to deliver a legendary dinner party on Wednesday night, even with a cast that’s about as exciting as a Wayne Bennett press conference.
So will Ivan let his troll flag fly? Will Amanda drop her soy beef with the vegan? And can stone-faced $tacey keep her eyes on the prize?
Premature evacuation: Ten seconds in paradise led to a whole night in hell for Mikey, who triggered a premature evacuation when his lighting fast finish became the joke of the night
The 10-Second Man
Good time, not a long time: Prior to the dinner party, we checked in with typically camera-shy Michael, whose all of a sudden acting like he’s the first man on the moon
Before the dinner party, we checked in with typically camera-shy Michael, who was all of a sudden acting like the first man on the moon.
‘Yeah, we went all the way last night,’ he said, before flicking his cigarette butt in the principal’s face and driving off.
‘Best 10 seconds of my life!’ Natasha added, as Mikey’s confidence rocket came crashing down to earth.
Danny Zuko over here: ‘Yeah, we went all the way last night,’ he said, before flicking his cigarette butt in the principal’s face and driving off
How was Sex Week for youse guys?
Sex week: As always, the first topic of conversation at the dinner party was ‘how was sex week for youse guys?’ After hearing about Cathy’s wild romp, Mishel started ‘getting all these ideas’
As always, the first topic of conversation at the dinner party was, ‘How was sex week for youse guys?’
So Cathy spent the next hour detailing her kinky cowboy sex romp in explicit detail.
Mishel’s eyes looked like they were about to fall out of their sockets.
‘I was listening to Cathy talk about her sex romp and I’m getting all these ideas,’ she said.
‘No she’s not!’ her husband Steve yelled from the distance.
A few seconds of awkward silence ensued, and then…
‘Mikey lasted 10 seconds!’ screamed Natasha, who would have burst if she didn’t let it out.
Michael’s eyes looked like they were about to fall out of their sockets.
To be continued…
Nice try: ‘No you’re not! Her husband Steve yelled from the distance
The Born Again Vegan
Good girl gone bad: Amanda rocked up alone, dressed like she’s just come from a funeral – which isn’t far off based on the week she’s had
Amanda rocked up alone, dressed like she’s just come from a funeral – which isn’t far off based on the week she’s had.
Tash came bounding in a few minutes later and introduced herself to the new girl.
‘Hey, how’s it going, I’m Tash. Have we met? she said, shaking her bride’s hand.
‘I’M YOUR WIFE YOU VEGAN FLOP!’ Amanda replied, instantly jogging Tash’s memory with her trademark aggression.
The new girl: Tash came bounding in a few minutes later and introduced herself to the new girl: ‘Hey, how’s it going, I’m Tash. Have we met? she said. ‘I’M YOUR WIFE YOU VEGAN FLOP!’ Amanda replied
The Good Wife
Married At Fight Night: At dinner, Ice Cube baron Michael was trying to start as many fights as he could
At dinner, Ice Cube baron Michael was trying to start as many fights as he could.
His probing questions brought the worst out of Steve, who momentarily forgot that the whole idea of the show is to act like you don’t hate your wife until the sponsored post cheques have cleared.
‘Be quiet!’ he barked at Mishel, who was merely trying to add her two cents into a situation she knew nothing about.
After ruining yet another marriage, Michael leaned over to Stacey for a celebratory kiss. She hated this.
Think happy thoughts: After ruining yet another marriage, Michael leaned over to Stacey for a celebratory kiss. She hated this
Stacey really is putting in a captain’s knock here, smiling through the pain of being married to an eight-year-old trapped in a millionaire’s body.
I wonder what she $ees in him?
What’s their secret? Stacey really is putting in a captain’s knock here, smiling through the pain of being married to an eight-year-old trapped in a millionaire’s body. Wonder what she $ees in him?
Premature Evacuation
Backfire: In the explosive main event, Mikey’s 10-second performance blew up in his face
In the explosive main event, Mikey’s 10-second performance blew up in his face.
It was a completely staged moment that saw pot-stirrer Michael act like he was offended that Natasha outed her husband’s fast finish.
This is the same Michael who yelled, ‘See you in 10 seconds!’ Whenever Mikey went to the bathroom.
‘Don’t sex shame your lad!’ It was a completely staged moment that saw pot-stirrer Michael act like he was offended that Natasha outed her husband’s fast finish
‘Don’t sex-shame your lad!’ he screamed at Natasha out of nowhere.
He got in Mikey’s ear next, telling him how Natasha’s acid tongue had turned him into the laughing stock of the experiment.
Mikey, who had been joking about his performance all night, suddenly – as if being directed to do so by a producer – decided he was embarrassed and needed to leave.
Stirring the pot: He got in Mikey’s ear next, telling him how Natasha’s acid tongue had turned him into the laughing stock of the experiment. Mikey walked off after deciding he was offended
Ivan chased after him to try and talk him off the ledge. Seriously, Ivan? That’s like asking for James Bond and getting Austin Powers.
So why send Ivan out? Because a) he’s a producers pet and b) he’s easily the best actor out of the entire cast – he is a real estate agent, after all.
Seriously, Ivan managed to convince the cast that the dingy on-site portaloo was a ‘bright and spacious self-contained bathroom, immaculately maintained and situated just a stone’s throw away from the vibrant city centre.’
Ivan to the rescue? Ivan chased after him to try and talk him off the ledge. Seriously, Ivan? That’s like asking for James Bond and getting Austin Powers
The camerawork is a dead giveaway as well. This is the only ‘reality’ show I’ve seen that uses fixed camera angles that typically require scenes to be shot twice – once when the character is face-on and again to get the ‘over the shoulder’ shot.
After miraculously talking Mikey off the ledge, Ivan came back in to speak to Natasha.
‘You’ve really embarrassed Mikey, he feels betrayed’ he said with a near-perfect delivery.
So why send Ivan out? Because a) he’s a producers pet and b) he’s easily the best actor out of the entire cast – he is a real estate agent, after all
Spacious: Seriously, Ivan managed to convince the cast the dingy on-site toilet was a ‘bright and spacious self-contained bathroom, immaculately maintained and situated just a stone’s throw away from the vibrant city centre’
Natasha storms off in tears, delivering a Logie-winning performance of her own.
Wait, why on earth is Natasha storming off? Isn’t 10-second Mikey the one who’s been humiliated?
Well, if you’re a producer, there’s really only one option: You go with the only one capable of delivering a satisfying performance that climaxes at exactly the right moment.
Logie winning: Natasha eventually storms off Wait, why on earth is Natasha storming off? Isn’t 10-second Mikey the one who’s been humiliated?
The real reason: Well, if you’re a producer, there’s really only one option: You go with the only capable of delivering a satisfying performance that climaxes at exactly the right moment