Married At First Sight’s resident ‘love expert’ John Aiken reveals the two words you should NEVER use during an argument with a partner
He’s one of Married At First Sight’s relationship experts, so it’s safe to say John Aiken knows a thing or two about making them work.
In an open editorial for 9Honey on Wednesday, the 51-year-old relationship specialist revealed the two words you should never say to your partner during an argument.
‘We can all get caught up in the heat of the moment and say things we shouldn’t to our partner. After all, we’re only human, and sometimes buttons can be hit during an argument that get us seeing red,’ he began.
Expert advice: He’s one of Married At First Sight’s relationship experts, so it’s safe to say John Aiken knows a thing or two about love
‘However, there are two words you must never use when bringing things up with your loved one: “always” and “never”.
‘These two words may seem harmless enough, but they can sabotage a good conversation, and have a tendency to make things go from bad to worse.’
According to John, it’s important to think about the language you’re using during a sensitive conversation with your partner.
Don’t go there: In an open editorial for 9Honey on Wednesday, the 51-year-old relationship specialist revealed the two words you should never say to your partner during an argument. Pictured, MAFS’s Sam Carraro and Coco Stedman
‘We can all get caught up in the heat of the moment and say things we shouldn’t to our partner. After all, we’re only human, and sometimes buttons can be hit during an argument that get us seeing red,’ he began
He explained that using phrases like ‘”you always…” or “you never…”‘ during an argument will only get the other person further riled up.
‘Rather than being open to your point of view, they will get on the defensive, dig their toes in and look to fight back,’ he added.
‘Instead of getting your issues out on the table, your partner will likely push back and everything will become a stalemate, and you’ll walk away feeling frustrated and shut down.’
‘There are two words you must never use when bringing things up with your loved one: “always” and “never”,’ said John. Pictured, MAFS’s Bryce Ruthven and Melissa Rawson
John said the problem with words like ‘always’ and ‘never’ is that they ‘encompass everything’ rather than pinpointing the root of the problem.
He explained that terms like ‘always’ and ‘never’ makes your partner feel like everything they do is wrong and upsetting.
The MAFS star recommended using ‘softer’ words like ‘sometimes’ and ‘often’ as an alternative, explaining that it will make a ‘huge difference’ in how you’re heard.
Playing nice: The MAFS star recommended using ‘softer’ words like ‘sometimes’ and ‘often’ as an alternative, explaining that it will make a ‘huge difference’ in how you’re heard. Pictured, MAFS’s Brett Helling and Booka Nile