A Massachusetts couple in a four-way open relationship with another duo in Maine have revealed how polyamory has made their financial life easier – while other throuples say their unorthodox living arrangements have slashed childcare costs.
Polyamorous couples have felt the financial benefits of having more than one partner – as they can remortgage their homes, pay less rent, and also properly budget how much cash they spend on their third, fourth, and fifth partners.
Willie Burnley Jr., who is a polyamorous Somerville city councilor, told the Boston Globe: ‘The meme is that the only way to afford rent nowadays, is to be polyamorous.’
Some couples have even knocked off their childcare costs – since having more than two adults in a home means there is always someone to watch the kids.
Polyamorous couple Scott Legault, 58, and Petra Jackl are happily married, but they also live in their Warwick, Rhode Island home with Legault’s girlfriend
Willie Burnley Jr., who is a polyamorous Somerville city councilor, told the Boston Globe : ‘The meme is that the only way to afford rent nowadays, is to be polyamorous’
Polyamorous couple Scott Legault, 58, and Petra Jackl are happily married, but they also live in their Warwick, Rhode Island home with Legault’s girlfriend.
As a result they refinanced their mortgage to include all three names on the document – which ended up working better in terms of their personal finances.
The trio identify as a ‘vee,’ in which one person, in this case Scott, is a hinge between two other people who are not dating one another.
Sparrow Alden, 59, is married to her wife of 33 years, and the pair have figured out how to deal with not wasting too much money on their extra partners’ dates.
Alden also dates other boyfriends out of state as part of her polyamorous marriage.
She and her wife put all of their income into a shared bank account, and then Sparrow takes a monthly allowance of about $100, which is a dedicated budget for her to spend on her other dates.
Alden told the Globe: ‘It was just total transparency.’
Rhode Island resident Matthew Burdick shares a girlfriend with his wife, Melanie Carrazzo – and on top of that, he has several other relationships on the side.
Burdick said: ‘Love is infinite, but time and finances are not. You have to just decide what your priorities are.’
Carrazzo said of money in multi-person relationships: ‘It’s still a tough conversation, but part of polyamory is facing the tough conversations and actually having them.’
Kaden McPherson, 30, and her husband live in an apartment in Fall River, Massachusetts, where the rent is expected to rise this year. As a result of their paychecks being squeezed, they are in talks of moving in and buying a home in Rhode Island with another married couple.
The second couple in the foursome live in Maine – and are described as their ‘other other’ half. She said that financially, having more partners works ‘very, very well.’
McPherson explained: ‘My mother, she was like, “I barely can handle your father sometimes, how do you handle three people?” I said, “It gets kind of interesting, but from a financial standpoint, it works out very, very well.”‘
Heather Reid-Barratt, 38, from New Hampshire is in a throuple with her spouse and another partner – who the duo share together.
Kaden McPherson, 30, (left) and her husband live in an apartment in Fall River, Massachusetts, where the rent is expected to rise this year. As a result of their paychecks being squeezed, they are in talks of moving in and buying a home in Rhode Island with another married couple
Marissa Barlow, 36, is one of McGirr’s new poly partners. She describes herself as ‘soly poly,’ meaning she lives alone. As a result of not splitting any of her finances, she always pays for half of her dates
Reid-Barratt and her spouse have an 11-year-old together. They’ve realized that with the new partner moving in with them, they won’t have to worry as much about child care costs.
She told the Globe: ‘That’s such an alleviation of having to pay for somebody to come over.’ She said the financial help of being in a trio ‘a benefit that I did not expect.’
Fritz McGirr was monogamously married to his partner until 2021. Following their separation, he wanted to try polyamory. Now, ‘all topics’ are on the table, including money, which was a contentious issue in his marriage because his wife was a higher earner than himself.
Marissa Barlow, 36, is one of McGirr’s new poly partners. She describes herself as ‘soly poly,’ meaning she lives alone. As a result of not splitting any of her finances, she always pays for half of her dates.
She said that it is crucial to have a open conversation with her partners about money.
Meanwhile, a polyamorous woman who lives with her husband and her boyfriend has also shared a fascinating insight into the trio’s finances.
Jennifer Martin, from Richmond, Virginia, told Business Insider about how opening up her marriage had finally helped her achieve financial freedom as she and her two partners embark on buying a house together.
She and husband Daniel, who married in 2008 before welcoming two children, had been struggling financially due to the cost of living, student loans, high inflation and wages.
But the mom told the outlet: ‘While other people my age may be sacrificing dreams of homeownership, children, and a career they love, one trick up my sleeve has helped me more than anything: polyamory.’
Fritz McGirr (pictured) was monogamously married to his partner until 2021. Following their separation, he wanted to try polyamory. Now, ‘all topics’ are on the table, including money, which was a contentious issue in his marriage because his wife was a higher earner than himself
The couple first decided to try dating other people in December 2013 – opting for partners who were already in ‘primary relationships.’
‘We didn’t think we’d live with future partners. But when I met Ty in 2018, my perspective began to change. The five of us became very close-knit, like a family,’ she explained.
Jennifer issued the distinction that the group are not a throuple in that Daniel and Ty do not date each other – she instead dates the men separately in an arrangement that she refers to as a ‘vee’.
Two years after meeting Ty, the group decided to make the leap and all start renting a house together, citing finances as a key factor.
Jennifer had previously been earning $70,000 but decided to quit her full-time writing job to go freelance and find time to work on her own book about polyamory and Christianity.
This meant that her earnings were now more inconsistent – earning just $25,000 annually.
Daniel earns $55,000 as a private school teacher and Ty rakes in $75,000 as a process manager at a bank.
Jennifer and Daniel share a joint bank account, savings account and credit card and file their taxes jointly.
But the mom-of-two also shares a savings account and several credit cards with Ty ‘to show financial attachment in case we run into legal issues involving polyamory.’
The trio split the $1,537 a month rent between them – Jennifer and Daniel paying $837 and Ty $700.
The married couple pay the trio’s cellphone bill and groceries with Ty covers the cost of utilities and WiFi.
Jennifer Martin and husband Daniel (left), who married in 2008 before welcoming two children together, had been struggling financially before meeting Ty (right)
Healthcare costs and necessities for Jennifer’s children are covered by the group but items such as cars and clothes are paid for individually.
Jennifer claimed that the trio are yet to have a ‘substantial disagreement’ about money but that the process of buying a house as a group has proved to be a little complicated.
‘It’s not finalized yet, but Ty and Daniel are on the mortgage application.
‘I’m not because my income as a self-employed freelancer is too recent for the mortgage company to consider – it requires two years of self-employment.
‘But putting Daniel and Ty on a loan together is another way to ensure we’re connected legally and financially.’
Jennifer has said that if she and Daniel passed away the couple want Ty to continue parenting their children.
Equally, if Ty died he would want his assets to go to Jennifer and children.
She concluded: ‘Polyamory has been life-saving to me financially, especially as someone who’s married and had kids young.
‘Until a third person was contributing to my family’s budget, I never dreamed of being able to own a house. With three incomes, it’s easier to get by.
‘Sharing your resources among loved ones, whether you’re romantic or not, might seem scary, but it’s a great way to support each other.’