Melbourne Mad Monday video: Glen Waverley sex act is nothing compared to footy lads: Jana Hocking

Confession time: I’ve seen ‘that’ video – the one doing the rounds on Twitter and popping up on WhatsApp groups all over the country involving two footy players in a pub during Mad Monday celebrations partaking in an act of a ‘sexual nature’.

It’s alleged that one of the men lost a bet and in the grainy footage you see that his ‘punishment’ was to place the winning man’s genitals in his mouth for roughly ten seconds, while the ‘winner’ gives his mates a thumbs up and they cheer him on.

My first reaction was ‘huh’?! My second reaction was ‘why?!’ and my third reaction… if I’m honest was… ‘WTF?!’ Sure, on paper it appears to be a sexual act, but upon viewing the video, I can say with absolute certainty that there was nothing sexual about it. 

There was no moaning, no sexual peak and certainly no ‘excitement’ from either of them. It just gave off real ‘Lads! Lads! Lads!’ vibes, with all the cheering and laughter that was, rather immaturely, intended. 

Shocking footage emerged from the Glen Waverley footy club’s raucous Mad Monday celebrations where one young man performed a sex act on his teammate

But there’s no denying the content, one man put another man’s genitals in his mouth. In a packed pub. Surrounded by others. In what appears to be daytime hours.

So riddle me this… why do guys perform sex acts on each other but yet… ‘It’s not gay!’ Seriously. The mind baffles.

Well actually, upon further pondering it doesn’t. I remember a straight guy friend laughing and telling me about how he and his friends at uni would help each other ‘release tension’ late at night.

I’ve also listened intently as a former Rugby player friend joked about the ‘lad’ activities that went on during trips away. 

One of the Glen Waverley player’s lost a bet to his teammate – forced to perform the lewd act in the middle of a packed public pub

One story left me slightly shocked. He revealed late at night, following post-game celebrations one of the players knocked on his door, presented his ‘manhood’ and said ‘Do you want on?’ while pointing at his over-excited anatomy. 

I asked him if the player was gay, and he laughed and said no, he just wanted to ‘sort out the situation going on in his pants!’ Can’t say any of my female friends have put me in a similar situation.

And finally, I even recall one friend who had been to jail explain that ‘gay at the gates’ is simply the term for guys in prison who have intimate relations with each other until they are released and return to ‘straight’ partnerships.

So, the real question is, does this make them gay? Bisexual? Fluid? Or controversial thought… actually still straight?!

According to Author Jane Ward, an associate professor of women’s studies at the University of California, the answer is yes, heterosexual men can take part in acts of a homosexual nature and still be straight!

‘One story left me slightly shocked. He revealed late at night, following post-game celebrations one of the players knocked on his door, presented his ‘manhood’ and said ‘Do you want on?’ while pointing at his over-excited anatomy,’ Jana said of a footy mate

She explains that homosexual contact has been a regular feature of heterosexual life for men, ever since the concepts of homo- and heterosexuality were first created – not just in prisons and dorms, and the military, but in biker gangs and even conservative suburban neighbourhoods.

In her book ‘Not Gay: Sex Between Straight White Men’ Ward suggests it’s time to simply stop thinking ‘well, they must be secretly gay’ — and argues that society’s conception of male heterosexuality is an unrealistic one.

For example, in one interview she was asked about male ‘hazing’ practices that are often carried out in the Navy, and she revealed that when men get together and lark about in a sexual manner, they really aren’t thinking of it as sexual at all. 

So there’s no sense of ‘oh my God, I’m doing this gay thing’. Instead, they’re thinking, ‘I’m doing this gross thing’. ‘I’m doing this hilarious thing’. ‘It’s sort of like making out with a fish or something’. ‘It’s just not perceived as sex.’

Or here is another theory I recently queried with a friend… is this type of behaviour just another way to ‘live on the edge’?

Huh!

Or here is another theory I recently queried with a friend… is this type of behaviour just another way to ‘live on the edge’?

The endorphins that come with running around, tackling each other on a footy field would be hard to replace. An entire match is built around putting your body on the line and flirting with danger.

One high tackle could land you the wrong way, one misplaced ankle could see you on crutches for months. If you enjoy the high dose of adrenalin that a risky ball sport provides, do you tend to go seeking that ‘high’ off the field as well?

We’ve seen stories in the press for years about professional sports players risky off-the-field antics. Pushing each other to do more outlandish things, even filming them to add an extra dose of adrenalin. Add alcohol and a ‘pack mentality’ and you’ve got the ingredients for a roguish night.

So perhaps that’s why it’s called ‘Mad Monday’ because it’s exactly that… mad!