Melbourne mystery pooper: Horrified family finds half-naked woman performing a disgusting act on their doorstep: ‘Can I have two minutes?’

A Melbourne renter has revealed how her husband arrived home from a football game to find a half-naked woman he didn’t know defecating on their doorstep. 

Lynette Nimo, who goes by Netty, said the woman even had the audacity to ask her confused husband Azza for ‘two minutes’ to finish her business after he stumbled upon her.

‘When my husband told me I was just like, ”What?” I really didn’t understand at first,’ Ms Nimo told Daily Mail Australia on Thursday.

Ms Nimo said her husband caught the tram back to Kew on Saturday night after going to a football game when he walked up to the entry of their unit complex about 10.45pm and encountered the ‘random woman’.

According to her husband, the woman was half-lying on the ground, propped up on her elbows, and her pants were around her ankles.

‘My husband was shocked and he’s like, ”Are you okay?” and she was like, ”Can you give me two minutes?”,’ she said. 

‘He was like, ”Pardon?” and she’s just, ”I need two minutes” and so he’s walked back out the front near the mailboxes.’

Melbourne resident Netty shared the story of the bizarre encounter out the front of her house

The mystery woman then pulled her pants up and walked off down the street.

‘She just slowly walked by my husband and gave him a little wave and then she goes ”bye”,’ Ms Nimo said.

He walked back to the front door and found the woman had done a ‘huge poop’ on the door mat. 

The couple are seeing the funny side of the encounter and have decided against making any kind of formal complaint.

‘It’s a nice area so it’s very strange,’ she added.

‘When my husband walked into the flat, he told me and I didn’t believe him. So he said it’s down near the door, go and have a look.’

Netty said the woman had not been back to explain or apologise.

‘The landlord is a nice guy, we get on well and so I texted him to tell him what happened,’ she added. 

‘He offered to clean it up because it wasn’t the fault of any of the residents.’

The woman's work left outside the front door of the unit complex

The woman’s work left outside the front door of the unit complex

She added that he later went through the building’s security footage to find out what happened.

‘He actually showed me the video on his phone of the CCTV and she was there for a while before my husband showed up,’ Ms Nimo added. 

In a bizarre twist, Ms Nimo said after she posted a video to TikTok about the incident, she discovered new graffiti on the downstairs mailboxes. 

‘There was written ‘Chelsea loves Adam’ so we’re wondering if it was like revenge over a broken relationship or something,’ she revealed.

Commenters on her video shared similar encounters they had also had. 

‘My postie once took a dump down the side of my house. It was a huge and I was definitely not impressed,’ one said.

Another added: ‘I went to the park by our house last week and someone had done this – on the park bench seat!’