Mother-of-two sparks debate after admitting she is 'envious' of people with one child

A mother-of-two has sparked debate after admitting she is ‘envious’ of people who only have one child.

Writing on British parenting forum Mumsnet, the anonymous woman explained she loves her children but she wondered if anyone else regretted having another child after their first.

She admitted she looks at people who have just one child and ‘thinks they have the best of both worlds’ as they are parents but still can ‘focus on their careers.’

Views were mixed as some people said they ‘feel the same’ while others say they wished for more kids.

A mother-of-two has sparked debate after admitting on Mumsnet she is ‘envious’ of people who only have one child (stock image)

The woman wrote: ‘To be envious of people who stuck to one darling dhild? There’s obviously nothing I can do about my reality so just venting and wondering if anyone else shares my thoughts.

‘I have two much loved children, six and three. They are amazing. However I look at people with one and think they have the best of both worlds. They’re a parent but also have time for themselves, can focus on a career, more money etc.

‘Dear husband and I found our first child hard in the beginning, the sleep was atrocious, and just as we got back to normal we had another.

‘I was happy with one but felt a lot of pressure and guilt over not having another and so took the plunge.

Writing on the British parenting forum, the woman explained she loves her children but she wondered if anyone else regretted having another child after their first

‘I adore my second child of course but my life is now all about being a parent with no space left for me and my interests. I used to have a great career which I have now been out of for so long I’ll never properly get back.

‘My first child never expressed interest in a sibling, they don’t play together that much they’re usually bickering or doing their own thing, vying for my attention.

‘I wish everything was a bit calmer! Does anyone else ever feel the same?’

Some people who had more than one child agreed the wish that they only had one as it would of ‘been easier.’

One person wrote: ‘I feel similar. There’s few people I’d admit it to in real life but I wish I didn’t have four children.

Views were mixed however some people did say they ‘feel the same’ and wished that they only had one as it would of ‘been easier’

‘I love them all very much but I had them all before I was 24 and it’s been hard. We are OK now, I went to university later in life and we manage. But I do feel that none of them have had the attention they deserved in their earlier years, and that they may have missed out in many ways.

‘Selfishly, my life would also have been so much easier, and I think that I missed out on so much too.

‘Sometimes I think about how my life would be if I had only had one, at a much older age, or even if I had none and it makes me feel guilty for thinking these things. I do love them, and wouldn’t be without them now, but if I could go back I would have done things very differently. It’s a difficult thing to admit.’

While another said: ‘Yes I have four and often wish I only had one.’

Someone else wrote: ‘I know what you mean. I absolutely adore my second child, he and I are very close, and I wouldn’t be without him. But my life would be incredibly easy if I only had my first, who is now a very self sufficient teenager.

‘I don’t know if my second child (5 years younger) will be as easy a teen as she is to be honest. Having two is definitely more than twice the work of one.’

Some molthers to just one child agreed that having one was ‘perfect’ saying ‘it’s the best.’

Some ‘smug’ mums who just had one child agreed that having one was ‘perfect’ saying ‘it’s the best’

One person wrote: ‘Having one child was perfect for me, I could afford childcare for one – I was a single parent. I had more time to do my own thing and advance my career, he had all my attention, we were very cosy together and I was able to afford a nice home..

‘He is an adult now and he has never shown any interest in having a sibling. If I’d had two we would have had to live on benefits and would not have been able to afford a house of our own.’

Another wrote: ‘Smug singleton mum here. I agree that’s it’s the best. I wanted two but my husband wanted to stick so we did.

‘My poor colleague with three is very jealous when I talk about DD and I hanging out, pleasing ourselves. Sorry. If it helps there is a MASSIVE amount of judgement about my ”lonely” child.’

While a third wrote: ‘I am 1 and done. It’s great. And better for the planet.’

Many others disagreed saying they wished they had more children or were glad that they did have more.

Many others disagreed saying they wished they had more children or were glad that they did have more

One person wrote: ‘I have 1 who’s 9 , I think about having another all the time, I feel sad I will never experience having a baby again , I wish I would have cherished that time more and I’m only 29 !

‘Then I think about money , my career will take a hit , there will be a huge age gap I will have to do another 10 -11 years of school runs. My DD doesn’t want a sibling now she used too she has a cousin who is exactly one year apart and they are very close.

‘I think at this point having another child would be selfish and purely for me to experience having a baby again at an older more well off age. I don’t think it would benefit my existing DD.’

Another said: ‘I was an only child and there was no way I was going to replicate that situation for my kids (if I could help it!).

‘I have 3 and would probably have more if my husband wanted to (he doesnt). 1 child would be easier for me but it’s not what I wanted for my kids. I understand I’ve been very blessed with my circumstances and not everyone had the same Lonely experience that I had growing up.’

While someone said: ‘This is really interesting as I’m on the other side. I have 1 and wished we’d had more – ds has ever expressed interest in a sibling and we realised we could have an easier life with 1 but I do still wish sometimes

While others admitted there are pros and cons to only having one child as they child could be lonely without siblings

‘Question though- those who have more than 1 and wish you only had 1… do you wish you only had the first and not subsequent or do you wish one of your 2nd / 3rd etc was the only?’

While others admitted there are pros and cons to only having one child as they child could be lonely without siblings.

One person wrote: ‘I know people who have only had one through circumstance and feel guilty that dc will grow up without a sibling / friend and also in later life be saddled with possible elderly parents etc.

‘One has its pros but it can also have its cons – as with all things in life! ‘

Mother-of-two sparks debate after admitting she is ‘envious’ of people with one child