A mother has shared heartbreaking photos of herself with her lifeless baby son after he passed away from Sudden Infant Death Syndrome, in hopes of helping educate other parents about the condition.
Krystyn Johnson, 21, gave birth to Mayson on August 22 last year. The mother, from Boise, Idaho, remembers him as ‘a bright light with the biggest smile on his face all the time’.
‘He loved life and learning how to do new things,’ Krystyn, who also has two-year-old twin girls, recounted on Love What Matters.
Ordeal: Mother Krystyn Johnson, 21, has shared heartbreaking photos of herself with her lifeless baby son Mayson after he passed away from Sudden Infant Death Syndrome
‘He loved to follow his sisters around the house and see what they were up to. He always wanted to be a part of what was going on in the world around him because he loved it so much.
Son: Mayson was born on August 22 last year and died on April 16 this year
‘I saw a bright future for him. I saw it all; tee-ball practice, birthday parties, learning how to ride a bike, going to prom, falling in love. I saw it all in this bright, amazing, happy, and healthy little boy.’
But on April 16 this year, Krystyn went to the DMV, leaving the baby with his father Trevian Johnson, 23. Around 9 am, she got a panicked phone call from her mother telling her Mayson had stopped breathing.
‘My mom goes, “Kyrstyn, you need to get home. It’s Mayson, there’s an emergency with Mayson,”‘ the mother told People. ‘My first reaction is that it must have been some accident. I didn’t assume it was this big medical emergency.
Sharing: The mother chose to share the photos of Mayson in hopes of helping to educate other parents about SIDS
Memories: Krystyn, from Boise, Idaho, remembers Mayson as ‘a bright light with the biggest smile on his face all the time
Remembrance: It was important for Krystyn to mark Mayson’s first birthday in August this year, four months after his death
‘She goes, “Trevian went to wake [Mayson] up and he was unresponsive, he was not breathing. This is very serious, he has not taken a single breath or heartbeat since the [paramedics] arrived.”‘
That phone call, Krystyn told Love What Matters, ‘broke [her] in a way [she] never thought was possible’.
‘The first responders and doctors did everything they possibly could, but my sweet little man was gone,’ she added.
‘I remember running into the ER, asking about my son in between sobs, and being sent into a room where the doctor came in, looked me in the eyes and said, “I’m sorry.” Just like that, every part of my soul and the person I was completely shattered; and I felt every part break piece by piece.’
At the hospital, Krystyn went into the room where her son was lying, ‘still and peaceful as if he was almost asleep’ and took him in her arms.
Tribute: Krystyn brought balloons to her son’s grave site to mark his first birthday
Family: The mother was accompanied by her daughters, two-year-old Violet Ann and Lilah Nicole
Siblings: Mayson’s sisters Violet Ann and Lilah Nicole participated in the celebration of his birthday
Growing up: The twin sisters will turn three on October 10 this year
‘I remember thinking to myself, you never appreciate feeling someone you love laying warm next to you until they’re not warm anymore. He was so cold,’ she recounted.
The hospital took free ‘goodbye pictures’ of the mother and her son to help her process her loss.
Five months later, the mother says she has lived ‘in shock and despair’ and moving through stages of grief. In August, she wanted to mark Mayson’s first birthday and reached out to a photographer who agreed to take pictures of the occasion.
‘After seeing these photos I realized that maybe, just maybe, I can take my experience, educate, and end the stigma of infant and pregnancy loss,’ Krystyn added.
‘To show other bereaved parents they are not alone. Everyone says they are sorry and they are there for you, but time moves so quickly and those people move on. Yet you feel stuck and alone, so very alone.’
Saying goodbye: Krystyn has pledged to make sure her son’s name isn’t forgotten. Pictured is Mayson’s coffin
Bonding: As Kyrstyn remembers it, Mayson was fond of following his sisters around the house
Future: The mother intends to continue celebrating Mayson’s birthday and life
Not forgotten: For Mayson’s first birthday, Kyrstyn got a cake featuring an elephant with angel wings
Determined: ‘I will not let my son, Mayson, be forgotten, and I will use his name to make a difference in some way,’ Krystyn said
The mother has now pledged to continue celebrating Mayson’s birthday and life, and to make sure his name is not forgotten.
Duo: Kyrstyn has been able to rely on the support of her boyfriend of almost nine months, Max (right)
She has created a Go Fund Me campaign in hopes of starting a nonprofit to help raise awareness about SIDS and support bereaved parents.
Kyrstyn has been able to rely on the support of her boyfriend of almost nine months, Max, whom she described as her ‘rock’.
‘Maybe one day we can find an answer to why we lost our brightest sunflower that could ever exist in our lives, but we can’t do that unless we talk about it and raise awareness,’ she wrote.
‘I know it’s hard and uncomfortable, but hard and uncomfortable talks can lead to amazing changes. I will not let my son, Mayson, be forgotten, and I will use his name to make a difference in some way.
‘Be kind, you never know what the random stranger next to you is being faced with in life currently, and have compassion.
‘Hug your children tighter and teach them to be kind as well. In the end, we are all fighting our own battles, but we should never suffer alone.’