A woman was left humiliated when her best friend, as the bride, lost her temper at the guest’s four-year-old son after he made a mess out of the wedding cake on her big day.
Rather than reaching out to make amends, the woman, 29, felt that her longtime friend, 28, should apologize first for ‘screaming’ at her in front of her son, husband, and the other wedding guests.
The woman, OP for short, decided to take to Reddit’s notorious r/AmItheA**hole forum to gauge whether this was a reasonable expectation, titling the post: ‘AITA for not apologizing to my friend after she screamed at me and my kid at her wedding?’
She went on to offer the ‘important context’ that her friend ‘did speak to me during her wedding planning about being unsure on whether or not to allow kids at her wedding.’
A woman was left humiliated when her best friend, as the bride, lost her temper at the guest’s four-year-old son after he made a mess out of the wedding cake on her big day
The bride became enraged after the woman’s son was caught red-handed digging into the wedding cake – but the woman felt that the bride should be the first to apologize (stock image)
The bride also has two sisters with kids around the same ages as OP’s son, whom, OP added, the bride practically views as her own nephew as well.
‘But, she wanted to be able to let loose and enjoy her wedding without worrying about any kids messing things up,’ the post continued.
‘I gave her my opinion, saying me and hubby allowed kids at our wedding and wouldn’t have it any other way.
‘The kids were still family and deserved to be included.
‘After that, and speaking with her sisters, she and her husband OKed kids for the wedding,’ OP described of the decision-making process to allow kids at the wedding.
‘Now, the ceremony went swimmingly. BFF’s nieces sat with me, hubby, and son, as her sisters were in the bridal party. I brought quiet activities to keep them entertained and everybody behaved. I even cried from how lovely it was,’ the woman described.
At the reception, the bride’s nieces went back to their parents, while the woman and her husband looked after their own son.
‘Dinner went fine, and then the couple took to the dance floor for their first dance.
After thousands of comments, the broad consensus was that the woman was the a**hole, with Redditers declaring YTA – short for, ‘You’re The A**hole’
‘Afterwards, everybody was welcomed to the floor to dance for a bit before cake cutting.
‘At this point, the kids were running around and playing with each other and it was a fairly secure space and I knew almost everybody there, so I felt comfortable with my son playing with the other kids while hubby and I had fun dancing,’ the woman went on.
Her husband was the designated driver, so the woman let loose with a couple glasses of wine, as had the bride.
In the blur of celebrating, the couple seemingly momentarily lost track of her son.
Then, the bride and her groom approached the cake – while OP and her husband had a crowd blocking their view as they approached.
‘Suddenly, I hear BFF SCREAM son’s name. Hubby and I push forward to see what’s wrong.
‘I see my son with frosting around his mouth and on his fingers. The cake had a small chunk taken out of it.
‘I try to apologize, but BFF turns around and yells, “This is YOUR FAULT. Your son RUINED my cake. He’s only here because YOU told me it would be worth it to include the kids!”
‘I yelled back, telling her that it was just an accident and the rest of the cake was still edible. That this was her nephew she was screaming about.
‘She told me I was no friend of hers and he wasn’t her nephew, in front of everyone. She told me to leave or she’d call security,’ the woman went on.
By then, both the woman and her son were crying and she, her husband and son left the wedding.
Afterwards, the woman heard from one of the bride’s sisters who apologized on behalf of the bride but was adamant that the guest also ‘needed to apologize’ to the bride.
‘I think sorries are out the window now after her outburst. I told her sister so and said I expect an apology first before I’d say anything to her.
‘Not only did she blow up at me in front of everyone, but at my son. I’m humiliated but even more angry on his behalf. So, AITA if I refuse to apologize first?’ the post concluded.
Reddit was quick to reach the consensus that the woman was in the wrong, dubbing her YTA – short for You’re The A**hole.
The post amassed thousands of comments, with some best and most succinctly encapsulating the broader sentiments expressed in the feedback.
As one fumed: ‘YTA. Your child is very young and in need of supervision. It doesn’t matter how secure the location is, there are a lot of things that are NOT secure (like cake, glasses, etc) in the venue.
‘Not only should you apologize, you should have apologized right then and there instead of reacting with “The rest of the cake is still edible (because gross. I doubt your kid had washed his hands in awhile) and “It was an accident.”
‘It wasn’t an accident. Your kid is young so it wasn’t malicious but it certainly wasn’t an accident. You also need to pay at least part of the cost of the cake because that tier was not edible.’
A second echoed: ‘YTA. Your son taking a big bite out of the wedding cake wasn’t an accident. He did it because he wanted some cake and didn’t want to wait. He’s four, but you could have told him not to touch the cake. This would have been avoided if you’d been supervising him properly.
‘You do need to apologize to your friend for being neglectful to the point where your son ruined the wedding cake. Parents like you who let their kids run rampant then don’t take real responsibility are the reason so many people don’t want kids at events like this.’
A third scolded: ‘YTA. She allowed kids based on your assurance that having kids at the wedding would be okay. It’s most especially egregious when the one person who said kids deserved to be included to be the one whose kid f**ked over her wedding celebration.
‘It is a big deal. It is a once in a lifetime event. Hopefully she is not getting a second wedding. You’re an a**hole for not watching your kids after blabbering how they should have kids at the wedding. And doubly so for not apologizing.’
Another piled on: ‘YTA to a raging degree, and surely you know that. Not because you advocated having kids at the wedding but because you weren’t even vaguely aware of what your son was doing.
‘Your son did ruin their cake. How you responded made you double TA, and then refusing to apologize made you triple TA. I’m so sorry your son has a parent as irresponsible and such a bad role model as you.’
And as a fifth put it: ‘YTA – You and your husband didn’t parent your child. This wasn’t an accident, this was negligence/incompetence on your part. You are the reason people want child free weddings. Don’t get me wrong, your friend sucks too, but this was entirely preventable by your husband and you.’
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