My ex-husband is demanding I drop his surname because his new fiancée doesn’t like it – but I want to have the same moniker as our three children

A woman has revealed she’s in a bitter dispute with her ex-husband over her surname as he urges her to revert to her maiden name because his new fiancée is jealous.

Taking to Reddit, the anonymous woman, 39, who appears to be from the UK, explained she and her husband, 38, divorced after they ‘grew apart’ as people, and the decision was mutual. 

They currently co-parent their three teenage children and they had a great relationship despite their split – up until he began dating his new 24-year-old partner.

Since he became engaged to the new partner, her ex-husband of 12 years has demanded she change her surname because his new bride-to-be doesn’t want another woman to share the name. However, the anonymous mother-of-three is reluctant to agree because she wants to keep the same surname as her children. 

After she posted her dilemma on the forum, others shared their thoughts on her situation – with many people taking her side as they blasted her ex for being unreasonable.

A woman revealed on Reddit that her ex-husband is demanding she change her surname back to her maiden name because his new fiancée is jealous she kept his (stock image) 

The post read: ‘My ex-husband has been dating this women for three years. For context, she is 24 years old. My ex and I were married for 12 years, and have been divorced for five years, we have three kids together who are now teenagers. 

‘My ex and I got divorced because we were young when we met and got married and we grew apart as people. 

‘It was a mutual decision, and we agreed our kids came first and have always co-parented very well. This has been the case up until the last year when his girlfriend moved in with him. 

‘Previously we would do holidays and kids birthdays together, now when she is present they won’t even sit near me at our kids’ sporting events. I have always been nice to this woman, despite my kids expressing they do not like her and they feel their dad acts differently when she is around.’

The mother added her ex told her early on into the relationship that his new partner didn’t like her and felt ‘intimidated’ by her. 

When her ex-husband popped the question to his new partner last Christmas, she claims her three children were ‘less than thrilled’ about the engagement because he had not consulted them before proposing. 

The man’s girlfriend then demanded that his ex-wife must change her surname before they get married next year – because she doesn’t want to share a surname with her. 

Taking to Reddit , the woman, 39, who appears to be from the UK, explained she and her husband, 38, divorced after they 'grew apart' as people, and the decision was mutual

Taking to Reddit , the woman, 39, who appears to be from the UK, explained she and her husband, 38, divorced after they ‘grew apart’ as people, and the decision was mutual

The woman explained: ‘My ex called me yesterday saying he is giving me a heads up that I have a year to change my last name back to my maiden name as his fiancée is expressing her distaste and concern for her and I to have the same last name when they get married. 

‘I told him we agreed in our divorce that I could keep his last name until I felt the need to change it, and that is what is listed in our paperwork. I also told him I don’t want to have a different last name than our kids. 

‘He said I’m being unreasonable and refusing to see how this would make his finance uncomfortable. I told him I can’t see it from her side because I am a grown up, and not an immature child like she is. He told me I could ask anyone about this situation, and everyone would agree with her.’

She then asked other people if she was unreasonable for not wanting to comply with the name change. 

Commenters on the post were largely on the woman’s side, with many saying the man’s new fiancée was being out of line for demanding she change her name – especially as she shares it with her children.

One person said: ‘He needs to come to terms with the fact that this isn’t HIS name, it’s YOURS now too. I’m sure other people exist in the world with the same last name. He needs to get over it.’

Another said: ‘The solution is pretty simple. He can change his last name to his fiancée’s. Problem solved.’

Someone else said: ‘Just spin it back on him and say that you will feel uncomfortable if his fiancée has the same name as your children so she can’t change her surname to theirs. 

‘If he says you sound unreasonable then tell him that how he sounds coming to you with that request because the sec you said your ‘I dos’ to him years ago that his surname became yours and you will keep it and use it as you see fit.’

A fourth wrote: ‘NTA. It’s not his name anymore; it’s your name. If his fiancé doesn’t want to have the same last name as you, that’s fine. 

‘She doesn’t have to take his name. Or they can change both of their names to Mr. and Mrs. Big Crybaby. But no, he does not have the right to force you to change your name. Your feelings don’t matter less than hers just because she’s the new Mrs. Crybaby.’