My husband’s colleague introduced herself to me as his ‘work wife’ – am I right to be furious?

A woman has revealed how she was left irkedafter her husband’s female colleague introduced herself as ‘his work wife’. 

Taking to British parenting platform Mumsnet, the irritated wife revealed that the woman patted her husband on the tummy at a summer work event and made a comment about her ‘packing his lunches from now’ on because his wife ‘makes them too large’. 

The woman revealed that she snapped at her husband’s co-worker and said ‘who the hell are you?’ before the woman made a swift exit from the awkward conversation. 

However, now her partner is annoyed with how she reacted, calling her ‘rude’ for overreacting to an innocent comment. 

Asking for advice, she questioned whether she was unreasonable to have reacted in such a way, saying she can’t decide if she is furious with her husband or devastated that he’s upset with her. 

The post read: ‘We went to a summer work event yesterday afternoon hosted by DH’s work. It was a catered dressy garden party sort of thing and I’d been looking forward to it for ages, bought a new dress etc. 

‘About 10 mins in a woman came up to us (well actually more to him as I was two steps away getting a drink at that precise moment) and said hello. When I turned back round she gave a very effusive “so lovely to meet you” and then rolled straight into saying “but I do have a bone to pick with you – you need to stop packing John so much to eat as its going straight on here!”. 

‘She bloody patted his tummy!!! Then carried on saying something about maybe she should bring his lunches in from now on, followed by the most awful laugh that made me want to punch her in the face. 

‘I think I said either “what the hell?” or “who the hell are you?”, I can’t remember which. Either way her face fell and she started trying to soothe me.’ 

She continued: ‘She said that she clearly came across wrong, it’s just that she’s his work wife and she was just being relaxed as she feels like she knows me already from John talking about me so much. The whole interaction was maybe 20 seconds. She suddenly ”saw a friend she wanted to catch” and made a very fast exit.’

The poster went onto say that her husband was ‘furious’ with her for ‘being rude’ to his work colleague and they spent the rest of the evening not speaking. 

She added: ‘Today he’s said very coldly that my behaviour is making him question things, which I assume to mean question our marriage. I can’t decide if I’m furious with him or devastated that he’s upset with me, or both. 

‘I still have no idea who this woman is who feels comfortable enough to be patting my husband on the tummy. Am I that unreasonable to have reacted like I did?’

Taking to the parenting platform, the irritated wife revealed that the woman patted her husband on the tummy at a summer work event and made a comments about her packing his lunches from now on because his wife makes them too large

People rushed to the comments with their owns thoughts, with some saying the female colleague was ‘over familiar, inappropriate and rude.’ 

One person said: ‘SHE was over familiar, inappropriate and rude. I’d have been furious and reacted in exactly the same way OP.

‘This whole “work wife” thing is a load of absolute b***** and your husband should not be encouraging her.

‘It could just be his flattered ego, but sorry to say it – are you sure they aren’t having an affair?!’

Another said: ‘I would probably have reacted like you! She overstepped the mark in my opinion. Surely he wouldn’t break up the marriage over this, unless there is something else going on? I really dislike the term ‘work wife’.’

Someone else agreed saying: ‘Whaaaaaaat, 1 Work wife: no thanks, 2 She sounds annoying, 3 It was completely normal to be somewhat taken aback by this weirdness, 4 He should have told you about her if he’s going to be like that about it.

‘YOU should be annoyed with HIM for having a bloody ‘work wife’ ewww. I wouldn’t automatically LTB over this but it needs to be talked over and over until the sting of what happened and his response to it is gone, and I suppose the sting of you being in his mind rude (even though I’m firmly on your side) has gone too.’

People rushed to the comments with their owns thoughts, with some saying the female colleague was ‘over familiar, inappropriate and rude’

Meanwhile others thought that the wife was ‘rude’ and completely overreacted in the situation

A fourth said: ‘I’d be asking him why he’s more concerned about her feelings than yours. Her behaviour was clearly very odd and overstepping, and I think your slightly rude response was perfectly justified.

‘I’d think he has a guilty conscious in your shoes (unless there’s some massive drip feed like she’s actually very senior and this could cause him problems professionally).’

Meanwhile others thought that the wife was ‘rude’ and completely overreacted in the situation. 

One person said: ‘I find myself agreeing with your husband. She just sounds like every batty employee that my own husband works with. 

“Who the hell are you?!” would utterly mortify my husband and he’d make sure I never mixed with his colleagues again.

‘My job at his work events is to be socially gracious and ingratiate myself with everyone. If your husband is senior then even more so.’

Another said: ‘i think the issue here is that many people commenting here haven’t been in that office environment before. this was an innocent exchange and i am not surprised DH is upset.’

Someone else wrote: ‘Well yeah you were obviously rude and over reacted. Not sure what else there is to say there really.’