My mother-in-law demands we spend Mother’s Day with her every year – she thinks SHE’S the only one who should be celebrated, I can’t bear to do it again
A woman has hit back at her mother-in-law for demanding the whole family always spends Mother’s Day celebrating her.
Posting on UK parenting forum Mumsnet, the anonymous woman explained how her husband’s mother makes them feel guilty if they ever decline the invite to his parents’ house on Mothering Sunday.
She added that her husband and her children want to spoil her by taking her out and that her husband’s mother should accept that Mother’s Day ‘isn’t about her anymore’.
Online users have flooded to the comments section saying that her mother-in-law is ‘still a mother’ and should be part of the celebrations while others have pointed out that it is her husband’s responsibility to look after his own mother on Mother’s Day.
Explaining the situation, the mother wrote: ‘My mother-in-law has just sent me an email asking that our family come to hers for Mother’s Day.
An anonymous woman took to Mumsnet to explain that she is invited to visit her mother-in-law on Mother’s Day every year and is made to feel guilty when she declines. Stock photo
‘I honestly cannot think of a worse way of spending Mother’s Day.
‘She extends this “invitation” every year and every year we get guilt tripped when we decline.
‘I have a husband and two daughters who try to spoil me on the day by taking me out to brunch or similar. I think it’s really sweet that they try to give me a day off.
‘However, my mother-in-law seems to think we should be celebrating her motherhood and can’t understand why we wouldn’t want to go to their house and spoil her on the day.
‘[My husband] is on my side and doesn’t want to spend the day at his parents’ either.
‘He’ll send her flowers, call and send a card but am I being unreasonable to think that the torch has passed and Mother’s Day isn’t about her anymore?’
People rushed to the comments to say that her mother-in-law is still a mother and that it is right for the family to recognise her on Mother’s Day.
One user wrote: ‘She didn’t stop being a mother when you became one. Why wouldn’t she want to see her son on Mother’s Day?’
The woman explained that her husband and her children want to spoil her and that her husband’s mother should accept that Mother’s Day ‘isn’t about her anymore’
Some users posted in the comments that the woman’s mother-in-law ‘didn’t stop being a mother’ and should be recognised on Mother’s Day
Another said: ‘How would you feel when your daughters become mothers themselves and decide that you are not important on Mother’s Day.
‘She is still your husband’s mother, maybe try and see it from her prospective.’
A third user argued that Mother’s Day ‘is actually more about visiting the mother you don’t live with any more.’
They added: ‘Fair enough if you want to go and see your mother, as long as you don’t stop your husband seeing his.’
Other users said that it was her husband’s responsibility to look after his own mother on Mother’s Day and the woman should not be obliged to spend the day with her
Other posters recommended that the family celebrate with each mother separately, with one writing: ‘I’d just do things on different days and go out for brunch with her husband and daughters on a different day – added bonus, less busy restaurant.
‘Or just invite her with you. Or offer to see her the day before.’
Meanwhile other users defended the woman, saying that she should no have to spend the day with her husband’s mother.
One user wrote: ‘As long as your husband is sending something for her then I don’t see why you have to spend the day with her. She isn’t your mother.’
Another said treating her mother-in-law on Mother’s Day is ‘life admin that [her husband] should sort out’ and that the woman should not be ‘obliged to do what [her mother-in-law] wants for Mother’s Day.’
One mother said she experiences the same situation with her own mother-in-law, writing: ‘She forgets I have a mother I might want to do something with. We do every other year with her but it’s never enough.’
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