A New York State assembly woman bravely opened up about being raped aged 14, and how the ordeal fueled her fight for survivors’ rights years later.
Amy Paulin, 61, who has been a member of the state assembly for almost 17 years, detailed her harrowing experience in two new videos published today as part of the Real Women Real Stories project, which gives visibility to hardships experienced by women in a wide array of professions and settings.
The assemblywoman, who grew up in Brooklyn in a ‘very poor’ family but has been based in Westchester, New York, for most of her adult life, explained she became involved in politics as a teenager, and was returning from a local Democratic club when she was sexually assaulted.
New York State assembly woman Amy Paulin, 61, bravely opened up about being raped aged 14, and how the ordeal fueled her fight for survivors’ rights years later
Past: The assemblywoman, based in Westchester, New York,, explained she was returning from a local Democratic club when she was sexually assaulted as a teenager
Paulin would typically go to the politics club with another teenage friend as well as two older pals in their twenties, and the group would go out for coffee at the diner after the meetings.
One night, her ‘two buddies’ didn’t come, and Paulin couldn’t recall where her other 14-year-old friend had gone.
But someone who went to the club ‘on a frequent basis’, whom Paulin knew, offered her a ride home.
‘He pulled up in a—I don’t know if it was an alley. I just remember it was dark and it felt spacious,’ Paulin said.
‘So it could have been a schoolyard. I don’t really know where we pulled up but it was very dark and very secluded and there was nobody there.
‘And he sexually assaulted me. My first sexual experience was being sexually assaulted.’
Paulin didn’t disclose the rape until many years later, when she was advocating in favor of a bill to get rid of the statute of limitations for rape cases in New York State, which passed in 2006.
‘I don’t even know how long it took to heal,’ she said in another clip. ‘I don’t know what healing is exactly. Going on with your life. I guess I could have fallen apart. I could have had all kinds of diseases.
‘It’s hard to know what could have resulted, but the resolve I had to just go forward with my life, because I didn’t want anyone to say you can’t do that, overpowered everything else.’
Speaking out: Paulin didn’t disclose the rape until many years later, when she was advocating in favor of a bill to get rid of the statute of limitations for rape cases in New York State
‘I was very proud to have changed the law in New York,’ Paulin (pictured during the Women’s March in January) said of the bill, which the assembly passed in 2006
The assemblywoman had been in the state legislature for six years when she was approached to defend the new bill.
At the time, she said, it didn’t even occur to her that she had a personal experience connected to the proposed change in legislation—but her past ended up playing a key part when she made the case in favor of the bill during a public session.
Paulin’s time to speak came after a man told the story of his sister, who had been raped and then committed suicide, and after a woman opened up about her own daughter, who had been raped by her brother.
‘And then it was my turn,’ Paulin recounted. ‘And all of a sudden, inside myself, somewhere came my story. I had never shared it with a soul, and I shared it with the conference.’
In what she called an ‘amazing coincidence’, one of her two friends who used to take her out for coffee all those years ago after the club meetings was sitting right opposite her.
‘Instead of advocating for the bill with all the talking points that I had I told my story. I told my story to all of my colleagues,’ she said.
Activism: Paulin (pictured discussing legislation to train hotel staff to recognize trafficking victims) has also supported legislation against child marriages
That session marked the first time Paulin opened up about being raped to anyone at all. Her husband, with whom she has had three children, found out that day.
Paulin, who didn’t name her attacker in the two videos, opted not to identify him in front of her colleagues either, because she was afraid he would deny assaulting her.
‘I didn’t even reveal his name at that moment. Now I’m sorry, but at that moment I couldn’t do it,’ she said.
‘I didn’t want him out there saying it didn’t happen. It would have taken something away from me. I didn’t reveal his name. I now talk about him a little better, but there’s still a hesitancy.’
The assembly passed the bill passed in June of 2006—a milestone for Paulin, who has also supported legislation against child marriages and once directed an agency supporting battered women.
‘I was very proud to have changed the law in New York,’ she said. ‘It’s the only State in the entire country that has eliminated the statute of limitations for rape. It’s a very important bill for women or law. I feel very gratified that I took something that was such an awful experience and now I can think about it positively.’