Beauty and lifestyle vlogger Milena Ciciotti, from Michigan, initially took to her YouTube channel in October 2017 to share her experience of waiting until marriage before having sex with her husband Jordan, and also offer advice to other young people waiting until marriage to lose their virginity.
And the devout Christian has taken to YouTube again to discuss the topic for a second time, revealing that her first video got the most traffic of all of her videos and that she ‘got an overwhelming amount of DMs and messages’ from followers asking for more information and advice.
Like a virgin: Milena Ciciotti, 21, from Michigan, pictured with husband, Jordan, took to YouTube to share her experience about abstaining from sex before marriage
Born again: The devout Christian has made two videos about the topic and in her latest one, discussed the concept of being a ‘born again virgin’ after fans asked her about it online
Chapter and verse: Milena also read out passages from the bible to back up her claim that anyone can become a ‘born again virgin’
‘I don’t blame you guys because this is something that is so taboo and no one talks about it, no Christians talk about it, no one shares their stories and their struggles and experience and that’s so wrong. It definitely needs to be said,’ she told the camera.
Disclosing that that she asked her fans on Instagram to get in touch with their questions, Milena shared that three topics ‘stood out’ – being a born again virgin, tips on temptation, and dealing with negativity from friends or family.
‘It is never too late to become a born again virgin, it doesn’t matter if you had sex once or 100 times and then you suddenly realize okay, this is not what I want for myself and I know this isn’t what god wants for me and I want to make a change,’ she explained.
‘You are no more of less of a Christian for previously having sex. You should not be ashamed of that and people should not shame you for that. You’re not impure, you’re not nasty. If you decide to have a change of mind your sins are forgiven and you can move past that,’ she added.
Admitting that because she isn’t a pastor, she searched for bible passages online to prove her point and explained that although god forgives, this doesn’t give people free reign to have sex and then look for absolution.
‘This is just for people who are living different lives now,’ she said.
Milena also brought up the question of whether or not it was okay for a Christian to date another Christian who had already had sex before marriage.
She said she personally thought it was fine but suggested it wouldn’t be easy to put a boundary up.
Moving on to temptation, Milena explained that talking to a partner was the best way to deal with it. She also advised to not lie in bed or on the couch together, thereby automatically removing yourself from a situation.
‘It will feel weird at first but you will get used to it,’ she added.
Long haul: Milena met Jordan when they were 15, and the couple both remained virgins throughout five years of dating until they tied the knot in June 2017
Target: Milena also revealed that the couple were taunted by classmates during high school who didn’t understand why the couple were waiting
And she also broached the subject of oral sex, sharing that she personally thinks intimacy before marriage should stop at kissing and that as her ‘trigger’ is kissing on the neck, she never let her husband kiss her there before they were married.
She revealed that she and her husband tried to never be left in a house alone together but when they were left alone, they would put a bible in front of themselves to remind them god was ‘watching’.
Moving onto negativity, Milena shared that people waiting to have sex should never explain themselves to other.
‘That leaves a bad taste in my mouth. Why do you care that I’m waiting, it’s none of your business,’ she added.
Revealing why she decided to wait in her first video, Milena shared that when she was in middle school and around 12 or 13-years-old, she went to a church concert where they gave out purity rings to encourage people to abstain from sex before marriage.
She said that it was at this point that she decided to ‘stay pure’.
When she was 15 she met her now-husband, Jordan, and says they were both on the same terms when it came to waiting to have sex.
Milena also explained that this in itself made things easier for the young couple.
The couple dated for five years before getting married, and Milena shared that when they first started dating sex wasn’t really an issue as she was ‘way too young anyway’.
However, as they progressed into the teens, she says they got more serous and abstaining from sex became more difficult
‘We got more serious and you have your ups and downs, so it’s not all always easy and it’s not always really hard either. Sometimes you just get into the routine and you forget about it,’ she shared.
She also revealed that they went out of their way to never put themselves in situations that would tempt them more.
This included never lying naked in bed together, staying up really late together, being home alone together without parents being present, go swimming together or wear a bathing suit around each other.
‘I was always tempted, my husband is a good looking man,’ Milena joked.
Her other advice for young couples waiting for marriage is to have a conversation about what would tempt a person more and avoid that.
Pure and simple: The beauty and lifestyle vlogger made the decision to remain a virgin until she got married when she was 12, after her church gave out ‘purity’ rings
Always watching: She also shared how she and her husband used to put a bible in front of them when they were alone to remind them god was ‘watching’
That being said, Milena revealed that they also didn’t talk about sex a lot, reasoning ‘the more you talk about it, the more you get curious about it’.
However, avoiding temptation wasn’t the only thing the couple had to deal with as Milena shared how she felt like a target during high school as people used ridicule her and also suggest her husband was gay.
‘It was really hard people telling me I was weird,’ she told the camera.
She also shared that lots of people felt entitled to comment on her sex life as her wedding day which took place in June 2107 got closer, and she had to field questions from people wanting to know if she knew what to do on the wedding night.
But she said lack of experience is irrelevant in the end.
‘You guys will not know what to do, it’ll be messy, it won’t be perfect, it won’t be like the movies and that is ok.’
She also felt that not knowing what was going to happen helped strengthen their bond.
‘You both don’t know what you’re doing, you’re both learning and experiencing and getting to know each other’s bodies together, and it builds this very intimate, intense moment that you will only have with your husband or wife,’ she added.
Milena’s sex ban is reminiscent of the rules imposed by reality TV family The Duggars, whose 19 children are forbidden from having sex before marriage.
Instead of dating, their children are permitted to ‘court’ prospective spouses but only with a chaperone present.
And while hand holding is permitted after they become engaged, only side hugs are allowed before that and full embraces are forbidden until marriage.