What it’s REALLY like to be beautiful: Women reveal the highs and lows of attractiveness – from getting ahead in their career to the assumption they’re always trying to steal someone’s man
- Mumsnet users from across the UK shared their experience of being attractive
- Discussion began after a woman, 40, compared herself to other holiday-goers
- Many responses claimed beautiful women receive unwanted attention from men
- Others said they enjoy being given freebies and getting ahead in their career
Women who believe they are ‘conventionally beautiful’ have revealed the pros and cons of being attractive in an eye-opening thread.
Mumsnet users from across the UK took to the forum to share their personal experiences of being dubbed attractive by others, including one woman who claims to have been able to get ahead in her career, and another who says that men are willing to do her favours because of her looks.
The discussion began after a holidaymaker admitted to comparing her pale, overweight, 40-year-old body to the other ‘beautiful’ women by the pool in Dubai.
But other responders to the thread told the woman that being attractive has its downsides, including unwanted attention for men and critique from other women.
A 40-year-old holiday-goer who has been comparing her looks to other women on holiday, has been told the pros and cons of being very attractive (stock image)
Posting on Mumsnet, the woman explained that she and her husband have been discussing beauty while looking at other people around their hotel swimming pool
Many responses to the post came from women claiming that being attractive has made them uncomfortable in many situations.
One person wrote: ‘I had quite a lot of bad experiences involving men trying to take photos up my skirt, getting groped on the Tube etc. Oddly enough that never happens now I’m late 30s and a bit overweight with two kids and the lack of sleep is all over my face’
Another said: ‘Women would call me a slut on the street and constant sex pests. Being followed home, men trying to pull you into cars, endless flashers and being ‘accidentally’ touched in public. I don’t think I was amazingly beautiful. I’m later 30s now and I am enjoying becoming more invisible. Feels safer.’
One said that she was always ‘judged’ on who she dated, and told by others that her boyfriends were ‘punching’ above their weight and asked what she saw in them.
A fourth added that it can be ‘lonely’ because people were ‘in awe of her’ and didn’t want to approach her, while men were ‘intimidated’.
Many women claimed they’ve received unwanted attention from men and have found themselves isolated because of their looks
A stream of commenters said their self-esteem has been negatively affected by people constantly commenting on their looks
‘In reality I never thought I’d be considered beautiful, but apparently I was, and it was a lonely place (barring a few bosses making passes at me and one good friend). Now I’m older, fatter and largely invisible but do seem to be more approachable.’
Another wrote: ‘Other women see you as a threat and also make a play for your man. Women scrutinise for flaws in your appearance of personality and discuss them with you or other women.
‘Women think you are flirting with men, even if you are not, and just sitting or standing chatting e.g. to a male work colleague.’
However, others claimed being attractive has been beneficial in their personal and professional life.
Other responses to the thread came from women who admit they enjoy being given freebies and getting ahead in their career because of their appearance
One person wrote: ‘Whilst never in the supermodel league I am good looking and confident. I was probably at my best in my thirties. It was great. No complaints from me. I used to love getting stopped in the street by men telling me I was gorgeous or whatever.
‘I’m 50 now, so those days are gone, but I still like the feeling of power when I’m looking good and attract attention for it.
‘Never had any bother from other women. It made life easier professionally because male colleagues were keener to work with me on stuff. Not because they fancied me necessarily but because I’m afraid that quite a few men like doing favours for pretty women.’
Another added: ‘People are nice to you. I’m not Beyonce or anything but I’m quite attractive. And as a result my everyday interactions with the world tend to be pleasant. People give me things, they insist I go first, they smile at me.’
However, one found it the opposite, saying: ‘I do think people don’t take you seriously, at work for example. You have to work harder to be taken seriously. You get treated like a girl and not a woman. People can be more patronising.’