The parents of a Washington State quarterback who killed himself while battling CTE have revealed the agonizing decision they faced in letting their other two sons carry on playing football.
Tyler Hilinski, 21, left a suicide note for his family before shooting himself in his apartment in January after dropping a teammate off on campus for class.
Police said Hilinski shot himself in the head with a .223-caliber rifle that he took from a teammate without the teammate’s knowledge.
An autopsy revealed the promising athlete suffered from Stage 1 chronic traumatic encephalopathy – the earliest stage of the disease that has been linked to the repeated head trauma common in football and other contact sports.
Mark and Kym Hilinski said the decision to let their two sons Kelly (right) and Ryan (second from right) continue to play football was a ‘calculated family risk’ after their other son Tyler (second from left) killed himself in Washington while suffering from CTE
The disease, which can only be diagnosed in an autopsy, is known to cause violent moods, depression, dementia and other cognitive difficulties.
His parents Mark and Kym Hilinski said they don’t know what part CTE might have played in Tyler’s suicide but said ‘we think it’s a piece’.
As they continue to grieve the loss of their son, the Hilinskis said football will remain part of their lives given Tyler’s two brothers are also quarterbacks.
Washington State quarterback Tyler Hilinski, 21, took his own life on January 16 after dropping a teammate off on campus
Oldest son Kelly, 23, played for Weber State and has exhausted his eligibility. Younger son Ryan, 17, is a senior at Orange Lutheran High School who has committed to play at South Carolina next year.
‘Our son (Ryan) wanted to continue to play,’ Mark said. ‘You don’t rip that out on the chance he comes down with CTE.’
Mark called it a ‘calculated family risk’, adding that the threat of a head injury would exist if his son played other sports, like soccer, hockey or lacrosse.
Tyler was going to take over as the leader at Washington State this year and was expected to be the Cougars’ starting quarterback.
He would have been a junior this season and was the expected successor to Luke Falk, now with the NFL’s Tennessee Titans.
He had shown flashes of brilliance in backing up Falk, leading the Cougars to a come-from-behind victory over Boise State last year.
The image of Hilinski being carried off the field after the overtime victory is etched in the memories of Washington State fans. The future seemed to hold more of the same.
His parents Mark and Kym Hilinski said they don’t know what part CTE might have played in Tyler’s suicide but said ‘we think it’s a piece’
Tyler (pictured above with his parents) was going to take over as the leader at Washington State this year and was expected to be the Cougars’ starting quarterback
Then came January 16 – the day of Tyler’s suicide.
The quarterback was last seen alive that morning when he dropped a teammate off on campus for class. Police did not release the suicide note found in Hilinski’s apartment with his body, saying state law restricts its release only to family members.
‘We kept telling ourselves it was impossible,’ Kym said. ‘Tyler was perfect: funny, happy, sweet, kind. He had a wonderful life ahead of him.’
His father said Tyler ‘didn’t leave bread crumbs or a trail. It’s impossible to stop something you don’t know is happening.’
The Hilinskis said they could have been overwhelmed by the grief and sadness following their son’s death as they planned memorial services on the Washington State campus and back home in Southern California.
But letters and boxes began arriving at their home that had been sent by Cougars players, fans and others, saying how much they had been touched by Tyler’s story.
‘No one let us fall in this hole and disappear,’ Mark said. ‘It’s not possible to overstate how great the Cougar family was at that time and continues to be.’
Tyler’s death will no doubt hang over the Cougars’ program throughout the upcoming season. No matter the wins or losses, the questions of ‘what if’ and ‘why’ will follow the team.
But the Hilinskis are trying to move the conversation forward.
Since their son’s death, Mark and Kym have become advocates for greater awareness of mental health issues among student-athletes and are channeling their energy into Hilinski’s Hope, a foundation created to bring resources to bear on the issues
Their younger son Ryan, 17, (above) is a senior at Orange Lutheran High School who has committed to play at South Carolina next year. They said they couldn’t rip that chance away from him over a fear of him coming down with CTE
They want it to be less about what happened – for which they are still seeking answers – and more about how such tragedies can be prevented in the future.
They have become advocates for greater awareness of mental health issues among student-athletes and are channeling their energy into Hilinski’s Hope, a foundation created to bring resources to bear on the issues.
Since the foundation was announced, donations have poured in from around the country and overseas.
‘We wanted to focus on how we keep Tyler’s name and memory alive and how to do good things in his name,’ she said.
‘We’re going to raise awareness and erase the stigma with mental health and illness and suicide.’
Mark, Kym and their sons plan to attend Washington State’s home opener on September 8 against San Jose State.
The team will wear decals with Tyler’s No. 3 on their helmets throughout the season. A Hilinski’s Hope flag will also be displayed inside the stadium.
‘Smiling in that place is how I remember him,’ Mark said. ‘We want to be there and do our best to show we support the Cougs and our son. This is a celebration.’
The Hilinskis said they will continue to share the story of Tyler’s suicide as a way to convince sports programs to commit more resources to mental health issues.
‘There is a need out there,’ she said. ‘People are drawn to our family. We share our pain.’