People who believe their relationship is ‘destined to be’ could lead to problems later on down the line, academics warn

Some romantics might think that finding their partner was down to fate.

But be warned – as believing your relationship is ‘destined to be’ could lead to problems down the line, a study suggests.

Researchers have discovered that those who think relationships grow through effort, instead, tend to maintain higher levels of satisfaction over the years.

A team from the University of Basel recruited 904 couples from Germany, Switzerland, Austria and other countries.

They ranged in age from 18 to 81 and had been relationships for varying lengths of time – from just a few months to several decades.

Researchers have discovered that those who think relationships grow through effort  tend to maintain higher levels of satisfaction over the years (stock image)

The researchers asked participants to fill out a questionnaire that assessed their destiny beliefs and growth beliefs when it came to a relationship.

For example, they rated how much they agreed with statements such as ‘A successful relationship is mostly a matter of finding a compatible partner’ or ‘A successful relationship is mostly a matter of learning to resolve conflicts with a partner.’

Their relationship satisfaction was also measured through a questionnaire, which asked, for example, how much a person loved their partner, how often their partner met their needs, and how good they think the relationship is compared to most.

Analysis revealed that individuals with strong destiny beliefs were more satisfied with their relationship at the start of the study.

However, their satisfaction declined more steeply over the two-year study period compared to those who had strong growth beliefs.

The findings, published in the European Journal of Personality, suggest that the idea relationships can improve through effort helps maintain higher levels of satisfaction over time.

Dr Fabian Gander, lead author of the study, said: ‘In romantic relationships, relationship satisfaction generally tends to decrease over time.

‘However, how we think about love can shape our satisfaction.

Analysis revealed that individuals with strong destiny beliefs were more satisfied with their relationship at the start of the study. However, their satisfaction declined more steeply over the two-year study period compared to those who had strong growth beliefs (stock image)

‘People who believe that ‘love is meant to be’ are more satisfied with their relationship than those who do not, but this belief does not protect them from becoming less satisfied with their relationship over time.

‘However, for those who consider ‘love to grow with effort’, relationship satisfaction goes down less strongly over time and they have better future expectations for their relationship.

‘Convincing people that relationships can be cultivated and teaching them some ideas on how to do so could, if effective, provide evidence for a causal association between beliefs and relationship satisfaction.

‘It could also lay the ground for practical applications in couples therapy.’