PETER HITCHENS: Brexit can work all it needs is compromise

Pictured: Lord Michael Heseltine

Loyal Tories who have long admired Lord Heseltine have been shocked by his extraordinary suggestion that a Jeremy Corbyn government would be ‘less damaging’ to Britain than leaving the EU.

But could his wild outburst actually be a good thing? It provides a chance for sensible, patriotic people on both sides of the EU divide to combine for a proper British compromise, instead of tearing each other’s throats out.

For Lord Heseltine is not sensible. His behaviour comes as no surprise to me. He has been for many years something of a fanatic, often closer to the Labour Left than to the Tory Party to which he officially belongs.

I do not exaggerate. Like some 1930s world-government utopian, he thinks countries such as Britain are finished.

He said, back in 2004: ‘The nation states have had their day as powers. The world must be more ordered and centralised… it’s unstoppable and irreversible’.

He said this in the midst of explaining why Britain should have abolished the pound without a vote, because Fleet Street would have ‘pandered to the worst and basest instincts of the mass of people’.

Some of you may also recall him, on October 14, 1999, sitting happily at the side of the ghastly Blair creature in a huge Imax cinema in London, emphasising that his support for the EU project was so strong that he didn’t mind consorting with the Labour leader. 

As for the ‘disaster’ of leaving the EU, Lord Heseltine has never ceased to support the abolition of the pound sterling. 

This position was not just politically outrageous. We now know, from watching the dire effects of the euro on most of Europe’s economies, that it would have been economically disastrous too.

Just in case you still harbour any delusions that he is, deep down, a traditional conservative, note that he said in 2001: ‘Marital breakdown, single-parent families, partners, gay rights, a multi-ethnic population are all parts of modern life. Whether for good or ill scarcely matters.’

Scarcely matters? Whether you like or dislike these things, or even whether you would lump them together in this way (as I would not), they matter hugely. 

To say they ‘scarcely matter’ is surely to say that you are in general in favour of the Blairite cultural revolution.

I know plenty of Labour people who are more patriotic, and more conservative, than this.

Lord Heseltine speaks for those who genuinely believe that this country would be better off ruled from elsewhere and he has never hidden it, though he must have realised that the Tory conference crowds who used to cheer him did not understand what his true desires are.

Such fanatics have always been at the heart of the EU project. This is why sensible, independent-minded Switzerland would never join the EU’s political institutions, however closely she trades with her EU neighbours. 

The Swiss, much like us, value their own unique laws and traditions and don’t want them replaced by a committee in Brussels.

It is why Norway, which had so recently won her independence, and then endured a cruel foreign occupation, decided to stay out. And it is why, in the end, a majority in this country voted to leave.

Most of that majority are perfectly happy with a Swiss or Norway-style compromise, in which we trade sensibly and keep our borders as open as possible.

So, I believe, are many Remainers. It is only the wild zealots on both sides who demand all-or-nothing outcomes, at any cost.

Push aside the Heseltines and their Leaver equivalents, and make a practical deal whose main aims are liberty, prosperity and happiness, not some wild, doomed utopia of total free trade or world government.

Apparently 44 per cent of us say we have not seen a police officer on street patrol in the past year. 

This is an amazing statistic, as it means the other 56 per cent are having hallucinations. 

Maybe this is caused by the mounds of ‘antidepressant’ happy pills we are now consuming, in the fond belief that doctors and pharmaceutical companies know what they are doing. ‘When will they ever learn?’ as Marlene Dietrich used to sing.

Apparently 44 per cent of us say we have not seen a police officer on street patrol in the past year, writes Peter Hitchens

Apparently 44 per cent of us say we have not seen a police officer on street patrol in the past year, writes Peter Hitchens

I wish I could rejoice at the return to blue passports. But I cannot. It’s not just that the new design isn’t really the same, and the old words ‘British Passport’ won’t appear on it.

It’s that the world in which such passports existed has gone. It was a world when we still had a proper Navy, unarmed police and a justice system you could be proud of, and when British people abroad were known for their civilisation and manners, not as football louts or nightclub drunks. 

Our passports were different from everybody else’s because we were different from everyone else. If you could bring that back, I’d be keen. Otherwise, it’s hard to care.

I wish I could rejoice at the return to blue passports. But I cannot. It's not just that the new design isn't really the same, and the old words 'British Passport' won't appear on it, writes Peter Hitchens 

I wish I could rejoice at the return to blue passports. But I cannot. It’s not just that the new design isn’t really the same, and the old words ‘British Passport’ won’t appear on it, writes Peter Hitchens 

Who’s really preaching fake news, Archbishop?  

I see the Archbishop of Canterbury, Justin Welby, has been complaining about ‘fake news’. 

As well he might, since ‘fake news’ is a good description of the statement which Archbishop Welby’s church put out to the media, insinuating incorrectly that the late George Bell was a child molester.

Lord Carlile has now produced a devastating report which shows that statement was full of false claims. 

It said Bishop Bell would have been arrested if he’d still been alive, when he wouldn’t have been. It said there had been a thorough investigation, when there hadn’t been.

It said experts had found no reason to doubt the charges, when one expert most definitely had found such a reason and clearly said so.

Yet despite this total demolition of a case that any court would have thrown out, Archbishop Welby continues to claim (more fake news?) that there is a ‘cloud’ over George Bell’s name, like some dim wiseacre in a pub, utterly defeated in an argument by facts and logic, intoning doggedly that ‘there’s no smoke without fire’.

The only cloud over Bishop Bell’s name hangs there because Justin Welby’s pride prevents him from admitting he got it wrong. He knows what he needs to do.

I see the Archbishop of Canterbury, Justin Welby, has been complaining about 'fake news', writes Peter Hitchens 

I see the Archbishop of Canterbury, Justin Welby, has been complaining about ‘fake news’, writes Peter Hitchens 

 Help! We have been invaded by Lib Dem Daleks 

What is Doctor Who for? Does anyone really enjoy watching it any more? The Christmas special was mostly composed of long soliloquies of pseudo-philosophy, with what looked like incredibly expensive special effects. 

Almost nothing happened, and when it did, it quickly stopped again so we could have more fake philosophy, and heavy-handed political correctness.

There was even a good Dalek, a contradiction in terms if ever there was one. You used to be able to rely on the Daleks to shock some life into a series that long ago ran out of ideas. 

What is Doctor Who for? Does anyone really enjoy watching it any more? Asks Peter Hitchens

What is Doctor Who for? Does anyone really enjoy watching it any more? Asks Peter Hitchens

Now that even the Daleks have become Liberal Democrats and have taken up Pilates and mindfulness, what is there left to look forward to – perhaps a female Dalek, which shouts ‘Exfoliate!’ instead of ‘Exterminate!’ and cruelly injects her enemies with Botox, so immobilising their faces and making their acting even more wooden than it was before.

It couldn’t be any more sexist than the first action of the new female Doctor (hardly big news in a country which has a female head of state and where even the Tory Party has had two female leaders, both of whom became premiers).

She pressed the wrong button on the computer keyboard, and was immediately flung out of the Tardis. You could almost hear Nigel Farage cackling about women drivers. 

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