Phoebe Burgess has revealed she still misses her NRL star ex-husband Sam as she opened up on his affair, battle with drugs and alcohol and a toxic sport environment.
The 32-year-old admitted that she frequently thought about her former lover two years after they split in October 2019. She compared the separation to losing a loved one.
‘I live every day as though I have been through a loss. I loved him dearly. I miss him so much,’ she told The Weekend Australian.
The pair’s marriage made headlines over several scandals with Sam at the centre of them. Details of his infidelity, struggle with alcohol and drug abuse and stint in rehab were all made public.
Phoebe Burgess has revealed she still misses her NRL star ex-husband Sam as she opened up on his affair, battle with drugs and alcohol and a toxic sport environment
![The 32-year-old admitted that she frequently thought about her former lover two years after they split in October 2019. She compared the separation to losing a loved one](https://i.dailymail.co.uk/1s/2021/10/16/02/49238041-10097905-image-a-2_1634347401518.jpg)
The 32-year-old admitted that she frequently thought about her former lover two years after they split in October 2019. She compared the separation to losing a loved one
Phoebe partly blamed their marriage breakdown on the NRL claiming the clubs did little to help her then-husband.
‘He wasn’t looked after,’ Phoebe said. ‘He wasn’t protected in the right way, in the way that may have – not saved our marriage, but it might have led to a true rehabilitation, a true sense of responsibility, owning behaviour, wanting to change that behaviour.’
Phoebe said she tried to put on a brave face throughout the difficult times but revealed she was the victim of taunts and jeers while pregnant with her second child Billy and watching Sam play at Stadium Australia.
‘I was heckled by the crowd, drunk people asking me if I wanted to FaceTime, and asking me where my husband was and, you know, was it his baby? It was demeaning and humiliating,’ she said.
Phoebe reflected on the sexting scandal and recalled that Sam ‘went white’ and ‘looked like he was going to vomit’ when he confessed to her he was embroiled in the allegations made in 2018 – a bombshell he dropped after the pair had enjoyed a date night at the movies.
Sam was cleared of any involvement in the NRL ‘sexting’ affair months later.
However in the wake of the scandal, Phoebe got a call ‘in the middle of the night’ with the news that a Melbourne woman was claiming she’d an affair with Sam in 2017.
‘That was probably the worst night of my life. I felt physical pain when I found out about that. I howled for about two hours on the ground,’ Phoebe told the paper.
Sam later admitted to the infidelity, which occurred while he was away captaining England in the Rugby League World Cup, during a confessional on the latest season of the reality show, SAS Australia.
![Phoebe said she tried to put on a brave face throughout the difficult times but revealed she was the victim of taunts and jeers while pregnant with her second child Billy and watching Sam play at Stadium Australia (pictured, Phoebe at ANZ Stadium in 2019)](https://i.dailymail.co.uk/1s/2021/10/16/01/49237741-10097905-image-a-10_1634345702102.jpg)
Phoebe said she tried to put on a brave face throughout the difficult times but revealed she was the victim of taunts and jeers while pregnant with her second child Billy and watching Sam play at Stadium Australia (pictured, Phoebe at ANZ Stadium in 2019)
![Phoebe got a call 'in the middle of the night' with news that a Melbourne woman was claiming she'd an affair with Sam in 2017. 'That was probably the worst night of my life. I felt physical pain when I found out about that. I howled for about two hours on the ground,' she said](https://i.dailymail.co.uk/1s/2021/04/01/00/41198480-9424787-Turning_over_a_new_leaf_A_source_close_to_Burgess_who_for_the_pa-m-7_1617231821467.jpg)
Phoebe got a call ‘in the middle of the night’ with news that a Melbourne woman was claiming she’d an affair with Sam in 2017. ‘That was probably the worst night of my life. I felt physical pain when I found out about that. I howled for about two hours on the ground,’ she said
![Phoebe partly blamed their marriage breakdown on the NRL claiming the clubs did little to help her then-husband](https://i.dailymail.co.uk/1s/2021/10/16/01/49237551-10097905-image-m-9_1634345309558.jpg)
Phoebe partly blamed their marriage breakdown on the NRL claiming the clubs did little to help her then-husband
‘I don’t think I was the greatest husband at times. I embarrassed my wife. I’d had an affair with a girl, a woman in Melbourne. That’s true,’ he said tearfully.
‘I was away on tour, and regretfully that happened. Which would have been… it would have been a tough place for Phoebe to be.’
While pregnant with their son Billy in late 2018, Phoebe says she underwent multiple tests for sexually transmitted infections as a result of Sam’s cheating.
She claims that during the pregnancy, she also suffered through Sam’s ‘substance- induced screaming rages.’
![Exes: Phoebe Burgess has revealed harrowing details of her split with her former husband, Sam Burgess. Both pictured](https://i.dailymail.co.uk/1s/2021/10/16/01/49237553-10097905-image-a-7_1634345294084.jpg)
Exes: Phoebe Burgess has revealed harrowing details of her split with her former husband, Sam Burgess. Both pictured
![While pregnant with their son Billy in late 2018, Phoebe says she underwent multiple tests for sexually transmitted infections as a result of Sam's cheating. Pictured with son Billy and daughter Poppy](https://i.dailymail.co.uk/1s/2021/03/08/04/40189352-9337211-Phoebe_shares_daughter_Poppy_four_and_son_Billy_two_with_Sam_who-m-20_1615178272351.jpg)
While pregnant with their son Billy in late 2018, Phoebe says she underwent multiple tests for sexually transmitted infections as a result of Sam’s cheating. Pictured with son Billy and daughter Poppy
‘These were things that I shouldn’t have been tolerating in a relationship’, she said.
‘I was still protecting someone who was broken and behaving in such an abhorrent way, you know, leading up to the birth of my son, the drugs, the alcohol, partying, the benders, the begging.’
Sam discussed his drug and alcohol abuse on SAS Australia, and attended rehab earlier this year.
‘I had a lot of personal issues going on, which turned me to drink and drugs,’ he said on the show.
![Phoebe claims that during her pregnancy, she also suffered through Sam's 'substance- induced screaming rages.' 'I was still protecting someone who was broken and behaving in such an abhorrent way, you know, leading up to the birth of my son, the drugs, the alcohol, partying, the benders, the begging' she said](https://i.dailymail.co.uk/1s/2021/04/01/00/41198488-9424787-Upheaval_Burgess_personal_life_has_been_in_upheaval_since_his_se-a-25_1617233201655.jpg)
Phoebe claims that during her pregnancy, she also suffered through Sam’s ‘substance- induced screaming rages.’ ‘I was still protecting someone who was broken and behaving in such an abhorrent way, you know, leading up to the birth of my son, the drugs, the alcohol, partying, the benders, the begging’ she said
‘Caused a lot of pain for my mum. She doesn’t deserve that, she’s a great mother, I love her to bits. Caused pain for all my three brothers, who I love more than this world,’ he added
The NRL star was also honest in revealing that co-parenting his young children, daughter Poppy, four, and son Billy, two, with ex-wife Phoebe, is difficult.
‘On top of that, my kids, I don’t see as much as I want. And that’s my biggest pain in my life at the moment, that I let my addictive personality take me the wrong way,’ he admitted.
Phoebe was critical of her former husband’s appearance on the reality show, which he won after airing private details of their past and marriage issues.
![Sam later admitted to the infidelity, which occurred while he was away captaining England in the Rugby League World Cup, during a confessional on the latest season of the reality show, SAS Australia. 'I don't think I was the greatest husband at times. I embarrassed my wife. I'd had an affair with a girl, a woman in Melbourne. That's true,' he said tearfully](https://i.dailymail.co.uk/1s/2021/10/15/15/47841819-10095871-Sam_later_admitted_to_the_infidelity_which_occurred_while_he_was-a-9_1634306461525.jpg)
Sam later admitted to the infidelity, which occurred while he was away captaining England in the Rugby League World Cup, during a confessional on the latest season of the reality show, SAS Australia. ‘I don’t think I was the greatest husband at times. I embarrassed my wife. I’d had an affair with a girl, a woman in Melbourne. That’s true,’ he said tearfully
She says what viewers are seeing is, ‘a careful edit, a carefully curated comeback show’ instead of Sam showing, ‘a true sense of responsibility’ and ‘owning behaviour, wanting to change that behaviour.’
Sam and ex-wife Phoebe split in October 2019, after four tumultuous years of marriage.
They had initially separated in December 2018 – shortly after the birth of their son, Billy – but reconciled in April, only to end things for good six months later.
After splitting from the former Rabbitohs captain, Phoebe and her two children had resided with her parents in Bowral, located in the Southern Highlands, before moving to her own home in the same area earlier this year.
!['I was away on tour, and regretfully that happened. Which would have been... would have been a tough place for Phoebe to be,' he said](https://i.dailymail.co.uk/1s/2021/10/15/15/47841813-10095871-_I_was_away_on_tour_and_regretfully_that_happened_Which_would_ha-a-8_1634306461524.jpg)
Sam also discussed his drug and alcohol abuse on SAS Australia, and attended rehab earlier this year. ‘I had a lot of personal issues going on, which turned me to drink and drugs,’ he said on the show
Sam was embroiled in a series of legal woes following the breakdown of his marriage.
He spent four weeks at Gold Coast Detox after he was caught driving with traces of cocaine in his system while on his way to pick up his children in February.
He has told The Sydney Morning Herald of his rehab stay, ‘It has changed my life and I have to say that I wish I did this some time earlier.’
The South Sydney captain retired from NRL due to a shoulder injury back in 2019.
![Sam spent four weeks at Gold Coast Detox centre earlier this year, after he was caught driving with traces of cocaine in his system while on his way to pick up his children in February. Pictured at Moss Vale Local Court](https://i.dailymail.co.uk/1s/2021/10/16/01/40659952-10097905-Sam_spent_four_weeks_at_Gold_Coast_Detox_centre_earlier_this_yea-a-37_1634345891220.jpg)
Sam spent four weeks at Gold Coast Detox centre earlier this year, after he was caught driving with traces of cocaine in his system while on his way to pick up his children in February. Pictured at Moss Vale Local Court
![Sam was announced the winner of SAS Australia on Tuesday, after becoming the only recruit to pass selection. He told Fitzy and Wippa on Wednesday he'd found 'clarity' on Seven's military-style show](https://i.dailymail.co.uk/1s/2021/10/15/12/49212465-10095871-image-a-39_1634299038670.jpg)
Sam was announced the winner of SAS Australia on Tuesday, after becoming the only recruit to pass selection. He told Fitzy and Wippa on Wednesday he’d found ‘clarity’ on Seven’s military-style show
Sam was announced the winner of SAS Australia on Tuesday, after becoming the only recruit to pass selection.
He told Fitzy and Wippa on Wednesday he’d found ‘clarity’ on Seven’s military-style show, especially after having to write a ‘death letter’ to his family.
‘In moments of discomfort or fatigue, when you’re at the bottom of the barrel, you do found some clarity,’ he explained.
‘The death letter exercise was a total surprise and when I went to put pen to paper I felt a wave of emotion, so many things I wanted to say.
‘Then reading it out loud, it killed me. I’m a big softy at heart, love my family, my kids my mum, my brothers more than anything in the world.’
![Phoebe was critical of her former husband's appearance on the reality show, which he won after airing private details of their past and marriage issues. Phoebe says what viewers are seeing is, 'a careful edit, a carefully curated comeback show' instead of Sam showing, 'a true sense of responsibility' and 'owning behaviour, wanting to change that behaviour'](https://i.dailymail.co.uk/1s/2021/10/15/15/49218929-10095871-image-a-30_1634309187173.jpg)
Phoebe was critical of her former husband’s appearance on the reality show, which he won after airing private details of their past and marriage issues. Phoebe says what viewers are seeing is, ‘a careful edit, a carefully curated comeback show’ instead of Sam showing, ‘a true sense of responsibility’ and ‘owning behaviour, wanting to change that behaviour’
![The South Sydney captain retired from NRL due to a shoulder injury back in 2019](https://i.dailymail.co.uk/1s/2021/10/15/12/47842185-10095871-Another_loss_The_separation_came_two_days_after_Sam_announced_hi-a-37_1634298937621.jpg)
The South Sydney captain retired from NRL due to a shoulder injury back in 2019
In April, Phoebe told Stellar Magazine that her parents, Mitch and Sarah Hooke, and her children, have kept her from falling apart.
‘Motherhood is something I took for granted for so long. I mean, some days it was a real inconvenience,’ she told the magazine.
‘But in the past 18 months, it’s literally been everything. It’s why I’m here. It’s why I haven’t checked out.
‘I have days when I want to give up and fall apart and I just want to break; I want to go to sleep and not wake up for a while, for everything to stop, but you can’t.’
![In April, Phoebe told Stellar Magazine that her parents and children, have kept her from falling apart. 'Motherhood is something I took for granted for so long,' she said. 'But in the past 18 months, it's literally been everything. It's why I'm here. It's why I haven't checked out'](https://i.dailymail.co.uk/1s/2021/10/16/01/27228856-10097905-In_April_Phoebe_told_Stellar_Magazine_that_her_parents_and_child-a-36_1634345891119.jpg)
In April, Phoebe told Stellar Magazine that her parents and children, have kept her from falling apart. ‘Motherhood is something I took for granted for so long,’ she said. ‘But in the past 18 months, it’s literally been everything. It’s why I’m here. It’s why I haven’t checked out’
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