TUESDAY, MAY 28
There’s no greater badge of honour than getting a name-check on Coronation Street.
So I was thrilled to hear my own was cited on tonight’s episode. Until I heard why…
‘So how’s everybody’s morning been?’ asked Kylie Platt.
I was thrilled to hear my own name was cited on an episode of Corrie. Until I heard why… Turns out Gail (Helen Worth, above with Sue Nicholls as Audrey) tried to throw a tomahawk at me
‘Quiet,’ replied David Platt, ‘though I did have to stop Mum throwing a tomahawk at Piers Morgan…’
The camera homed in on a murderous-looking Gail Platt.
Jeez, when even fictitious soap characters want to kill me, it may be time to review my public persona.
WEDNESDAY, MAY 29
If Gail gets her evil way, at least I’ve finally found the perfect tombstone inscription.
Sir Michael Parkinson, during our Life Stories interview, described me thus: ‘You’re proactive, fearless… and sometimes you’re a total twerp.’
I’ll take that as an epitaph.
FRIDAY, MAY 31
Dinner with Katherine Jenkins and her husband Andrew at Les Graniers restaurant in Saint-Tropez.
My Welsh singer friend recently cancelled an appearance on Good Morning Britain at the last minute, and tonight explained why.
‘It wasn’t just the thought of getting up at 4am to see you Piers, horrendous though that obviously is. I was just having a non-speaking day.’
A what?
Turns out she deploys a fascinating tactic to save her voice during tours such as the one she’s just finished.
‘I don’t say a single word for 36 hours after each show,’ she said.
‘Not one?’ I replied, mindful of the fact that she has two young children.
‘Nope. The kids are used to it and we have no problem communicating.’
I turned to Andrew.
‘How does it work for you?’
‘I love it,’ he chuckled. ‘This is every husband’s dream!’
WEDNESDAY, JUNE 5
My latest interview with President Donald Trump aired on GMB today, attracting a massive audience (the fourth highest in the show’s history), global headlines and the usual mixed-bag reception from my fellow TV news journalists.
My latest interview with President Trump aired on GMB today, attracting a massive audience, global headlines and the usual mixed-bag reception from my fellow TV news journalists
You can tell a lot about people by how they respond to a rival snagging a big scoop.
I got nice messages from the likes of Emily Maitlis, Emma Barnett, Krishnan Guru-Murthy and Mark Austin, the last of whom made me laugh out loud by texting: ‘Call me ungracious but there is little that’s more irritating than the success of a friend.’
(I even extracted a compliment from Lord Sugar: ‘Great interview, well done – amazing coup.’)
Then there was John ‘I liberated Kabul’ Simpson, the insufferably pompous old BBC bore who tweeted: ‘I only saw a minute of Piers Morgan’s long interview with Donald Trump but apparently he didn’t get around to challenging him on pulling out of the Paris agreement. Lots about the Royal Family, though, I’m told.’
Ooh, get him!
In fact, I grilled Trump at length about climate change, and I had previously pushed him specifically about pulling out of the Paris agreement when I interviewed him last year.
The fact that Simpson is so woefully ill-informed probably explains why the BBC barely uses him any more.
But if you want to catch his cutting-edge reporting, he writes a column for the British Airways in-flight magazine. Seems he doesn’t get around to any challenging journalism. But lots about antiques markets, I’m told.
THURSDAY, JUNE 6
My first appearance on Question Time under its new headmistress Fiona Bruce, up in Thetford, Norfolk.
‘Whoever follows Theresa May will have a much easier job than following David Dimbleby,’ I joked when we met backstage.
Fiona laughed. ‘It was pretty nerve-racking at the start, I must admit, but I think we’ve settled into a good groove now.’
True. It was a fun, lively show and Fiona presided over it all superbly.
In fact, the only negative comparison I’d make to the Dimbleby era is that he always hosted a very enjoyable sit-down dinner afterwards, whereas Ms Bruce only dished up sandwiches and cheese until I moaned and take-away pizzas were delivered. (Guests get just £200 for appearing, so the least they can do is feed us properly.)
My take-away from the audience reaction was that Britain is warming to Trump, wants Brexit done, and fast, thinks Labour under Corbyn is even more of a shambles than the Tories, and believes we should all toughen up a bit, stop whining and, as the Queen suggested, show more resilience, like the incredible D-Day generation.
FRIDAY, JUNE 7
‘Comedian’ Romesh Ranganathan has described me in The Guardian as a ‘professional troll’ who sets out to ‘deliberately antagonise and upset people in order to maintain relevance’ and suggests I feed off insults like a ‘hatred vampire’, using ‘the fire of the abuse to forge another made-up opinion for the masses’.
My sincerely held opinion of Romesh Ranganathan (above) is that he’s one of the least funny people on TV; a smug, sneering, self-righteous, virtue-signalling, humourless tool
I have a few thoughts about this extraordinary outburst, which coincidentally comes only weeks after I won Heat magazine’s coveted Secret Crush Of The Year award, beating Ranganathan, who came 20th:
1) Comedians are quite literally professional trolls, so I bow to his expertise in this area.
2) With regard to ‘relevance’, I have 6.6 million followers on Twitter, whereas he has only 488,000.
3) I don’t make up my opinions – they’re genuinely what I think.
For example, my sincerely held opinion of Mr Ranganathan is that he’s one of the least funny people on TV; a smug, sneering, self-righteous, virtue-signalling, humourless tool.
He has admitted to suffering from ‘impostor syndrome’, explaining: ‘I’m constantly waiting for a tap on the shoulder and someone to say, “I’m sorry but you’re rubbish.” ’
Relax mate, it won’t be long.