Texas officials investigating the death of a 14-year-old cheerleader have released a suicide note written by her alleged killer, in which he professed his love for the victim and pointed a finger of blame at a mystery intruder.
Silsbee High School student Tristan Dilley was found fatally shot in the head at her home in Buna, Texas, on October 1.
The following day, the prime suspect in Dilley’s death, 19-year-old Paul Adams, took his own life, possibly with the same gun used in the girl’s slaying, as Jasper County Sheriff’s deputies closed in on his campsite in a wooded area outside Vidor.
On Tuesday, Jasper County Sheriff Mitchell Newman revealed to the media that a search of Adams’ tent and car has yielded survival tools, a hatchet, rope and multiple pairs of handcuffs.
Among the items discovered at Adams’ encampment was a handwritten suicide note, which was apparently found resting on top of an iPhone box and weighed down with a knife, according to Beaumont Enterprise. Yellow and lavender flowers were affixed to the letter.
This is the suicide note left by homicide suspect Paul Adams, 19, a day after the killing of 14-year-old Tristan Dilley
Murder investigation: Paul Audrey Adams (right), 19, was identified as the last person who spoke with 14-year-old Tristan Dilley (left), a high school cheerleader
‘I know what you’re thinking but I didn’t kill her,’ the homicide suspect wrote. ‘I loved Tristan with all my heart.’
Confirming speculations that he and Dilley were in a secret relationship, Adams said they ‘snuck around’ because of their age difference, but he insisted that the pair ‘cared about each other deeply.’
Turning to the events of October 1, Adams wrote that he came over to Dilley’s house to see her before her birthday, but they were interrupted a few hours into his visit.
‘We thought it was her parents, but it was some man,’ Adams claimed. ‘He looked to be in his mid 50’s, wore blue jeans and a Boston Red Sox ball cap.’
PAUL ADAMS’ SUICIDE LETTER:
A photo of Adams’ handwritten note
‘I know what you’re thinking but I didn’t kill her. I loved Tristan with all my heart. I know we shouldn’t have snuck around but I also know she’s 14 and I am 19 but that did not matter to us. We cared about each other deeply. It was her birthday soon and we just wanted to see each other. When I got to her house everything was fine for a few hours but then we heard someone come in. We thought it was her parents, but it was some man. He looked to be in his mid 50’s, wore blue jeans and a Boston Red Sox ball cap. Thinking it was her parents, I hid in the bathroom, but I realized it wasn’t her parents when Tristan started screaming. I didn’t see what happened, but I believe she was (assaulted) because she kept screaming for him to get off her and I just stood by. I wanted to try and help her, but he was threatening her with a gun. I knew if I tried anything he would shoot me too but if I knew now what I knew after it all happened I would gave my life to try and save her.
Now this is all happened I feel it will just be better to end my life. I can’t live knowing I was too much of a coward to do anything about it. I don’t even know Tristan’s parents’ names, but I am so sorry this happened. I’d do anything to go back and stop him if I could. Mom, I love you with all my heart, you were the best mom anyone could ask for. I wish I could’ve finished college and got a job with good family but now things will never be the same. I feel they will hold me responsible and after watching so many shows of Lock-Up, I’d rather die than be locked up in a cage my whole life. I have so many questions as well. Why did this happen to us? But I guess the universe if full of surprises. Yes, I am scared to die but the alternative to staying alive seems hopeless. I just hope my death is quick.
I believe Tristan died instantly. I just remember hearing two shots and then silence. When I looked in her room, all I could see was a perfectly still body and a huge puddle of blood. I didn’t know what to do besides run but even running from something like this is useless. My only wish is to be cremated and I want all of my possessions to go to my parents. I know people will think that I killed her or I was responsible for letting it happen but I know what happened. I felt like a drop of water in all the oceans. I wanted to scream but no words could come out. It was as if the breath was knocked out of me.’
Thinking it was Dilley’s parents, Adams said he hid in the bathroom, but he realized something was amiss when he heard the 14-year-old girl screaming.
He went on to say that while he did not witness what happened, he believed Tristan was assaulted ‘because she kept screaming for him to get off her and I just stood by,’ he said. ‘I wanted to try and help her, but he was threatening her with a gun.’
The 19-year-old man added that had he known then that Tristan will be killed, ‘I would gave [sic] my life to try and save her.’
Turning to his decision to commit suicide, Adams explained that he ‘can’t live knowing I was too much of a coward to do anything about it…I’d do anything to go back and stop him if I could.’
Addressing his mother, Adams wrote: ‘Mom, I love you with all my heart you were the best mom anyone could ask for.
‘I wish I could’ve finished college and got a job with good family but now things will never be the same.’
in his note, Adams expressed concern that if he lives, he will be held responsible for Tristan’s death, and says that, having watched the MSNBC prison documentary series Lockup, he would rather die than be ‘locked up in a cage’ for the rest of his life.
Sinister tools: Texas deputies discovered a collection of tools inside Adams’ tent after his suicide, including this hatchet
Among Adams’ possessions was this revolver, but it’s unclear if it was the murder weapon
The 19-year-old suspect in Dilley’s shooting death had purchased eight pairs of handcuffs
A box of rope was recovered from Adams’ makeshift camp in the woods on the Texas-Louisiana border after Dilley’s death and his own suicide
The evidence also included these dumbbells commonly used in weightlifting
‘Yes, I am scared to die but the alternative to staying alive seems hopeless,’ he wrote. ‘I just hope my death is quick.’
Pivoting back to Dilley’s death, Adams said he remembered hearing two shots, followed by silence.
‘When I looked in her room, all I could see was a perfectly still body and a huge puddle of blood,’ he recounted.
‘I know people will think that I killed her or I was responsible for letting it happen but I know what happened.’
Adams concluded his final testament by waxing poetic.
‘I felt like a drop of water in all the oceans. I wanted to scream but no words could come out. It was as if the breath was knocked out of me.’
A search of Adams’ tent turned up a hatchet, rope, burlap sacks, eight pairs of handcuffs, dumbbells, bottled water, a water purification kit, food supplies, a book about human anatomy and $577 in cash, according to Jasper County Sheriff Mitchell Neman.
‘We have no idea what he was planning on doing with them,’ the sheriff told the Beaumont-Enterprise.
Mitchell speculated that Adams was possibly planning to dismember the Silsbee High School student and dispose of her body parts in a canal.
An investigation has uncovered that Adams had purchased the tools and supplies at a nearby Walmart on September 28, three days before Tristan Dilley’s shooting death.
Well-prepared: Police say Adams had stocked up on Army-style ready-to-eat meals (pictured)
Deputies recovered more than $500 in cash after Adams killed himself as they closed in on
Cases of bottled water and a water purification kit were also found at the camp
Surveillance footage obtained from the Vidor store captured Adams shopping there.
A review of the contents of Dilley’s phone revealed numerous text messages that the teenage girl had exchanged with Adams in the days leading up to her death, suggesting that the 14-year-old had a secret relationship with the older man.
On the day of her slaying, Dilley stayed behind at home, saying she was too tired to go shopping with her family and wanted to rest from a dance at her school the night before.
When the family returned, ‘her mother hollered at her and when she didn’t answer, she told her brother to go upstairs and wake her up,’ Newman said.
That’s when the 13-year-old boy made a grisly discovery.
Newman said the girl was found in a second-floor room with two gunshot wounds to the head.
The family of a Silsbee teen thought she was still asleep when they first checked on her but later made a horrible discovery when she was found fatally shot in bed Sunday evening
When investigators searched phone records they discovered Adams was 19-years-old and not 16 as Dilley’s family believed
Adams purchased all of the supplies, including this tent, at a Walmart, three days before Dilley was found shot to death at her home
Surveillance footage obtained from the Vidor store captured Adams shopping there
Authorities noted that there was no forced entry into the home nor, signs of a struggle anywhere in the house, leading investigators to conclude that Dilley was most likely acquainted with the killer.
When detectives searched her phone, they found that a person named ‘Adam’ was the last person to be in contact with Dilley.
The family confirmed that Dilley spoke of a 16-year-old boy with whom she began to communicate.
Investigators later searched phone records and discovered that Dilley was actually speaking with Paul Adams.
‘From what we could gather, they were trying to see each other when her mother was gone,’ Newman said.
Shortly thereafter, authorities set out to track Adams’ cellphone in order to locate his whereabouts.
He was later pinged to a wooded area in Orange County located on the Texas-Louisiana border.
Jasper County Sheriff deputies were able to track Adams’ location to a secluded stretch of FM 1135 in Orange County on Monday (Pictured: Memorial held for Tristan Dilley)
An all-night search failed to track Adams down, but authorities caught a break when he called his mother Monday morning while police had come to question her at her home.
Although Adams admitted to being at Dilley’s house the night of the murder, he maintained that he was not the one who shot her, Newman said.
Instead, Adams claimed that an intruder was responsible for Dilley’s death, and that he ran from the residence because he was scared.
Jasper County Sheriff deputies were able to track Adams’ location to a secluded stretch of FM 1135 in Orange County around 11.30am last Monday, according to the Enterprise.
Newman said that Adams had tried to set up camp at the site and that ‘It didn’t look like he had been there long.’
When the officers attempted to approach him, Adams took his own life.
‘You say you get used to it, but you just don’t,’ Newman said. ‘They were both seasoned officers. But no matter how long you are on the force, you don’t ever want to see that.’
A preliminary test on Adams’ weapon showed the same revolver to shoot himself that was used to kill Dilley, The Enterprise reported.
‘He ruined two families,’ Newman said. ‘Not just her’s, but he ruined his too.’
Police said that Adams had written a suicide note, which will be made public in the coming days.
Tristan Hope Dilley was born October 3, 2002 in Beaumont, Texas. She was a cheerleader and student-athlete whom friends described as kind, sweet and compassionate.