The daughter of Princess Martha Louise of Norway has broken down in tears while speaking about her father Ari Behn’s suicide nearly five years ago.
Maud Angelica Behn, 21, appeared on her mother’s HeartSmart Conversations podcast as a guest, where she spoke of her regrets over her father’s suicide on Christmas Day 2019.
She burst into tears as she said she had ‘so much love for him that I could not show him’.
Maud was just 16 years old when her author father took his own life. A week after his death, she gave a rousing speech about mental health support at his funeral which saw her given a ‘bravest woman in Norway’ award by a Norwegian magazine. To this day, she said people still stop her in the street and thank her for the speech.
Speaking four-and-a-half years later, Maud told her mother and co-presenters of the podcast, Mari Manzetti and Lilli Bendriss, how the death still affects her to this day.
Since her father’s death, Maud’s mother Martha Louise has found love again with controversial American Shamanic Healer Durek Verrett – and eventually stepped down as a working royal due to scrutiny levelled at her beau for his controversial views about modern medicine.
Maud Angelica Behn of Norway, pictured, broke down in tears during a conversation about her father who died by suicide while she was a guest on the podcast HeartSmart Conversations
Maud Angelica Behn (centre), Leah Isadora Behn (left) and Emma Tallulah Behn (right) leave at the Cathedral of Oslo, on January 3, 2020, after attending their father’s funeral alongside their mother, Princess Märtha Louise (second back)
Speaking on the podcast, Maud said: ‘My dad committed suicide on Christmas and since he was an author, there was a public funeral and I really wanted to give a speech.’
‘It was a week until the funeral after I heard the news so I had to write the speech in that time in the worst mental space.
‘In that moment, I felt like I had been more nervous to do school projects than at the funeral because I felt like my need for doing this was stronger than fear.
‘I knew that if I didn’t do the speech, I would regret it for the rest of my life because I really wanted to have that moment to say goodbye to my dad.’
Maud said she was inspired by the tragedy of her father’s death to give a speech that she hoped might help others who were either be struggling with their own suicidal thoughts, or have also lost a person to suicide.
‘I also appreciated that mum could also be right beside me during the speech because it’s hard not to cry when giving a speech like that and she was able to be beside me.’
In a heartwarming moment, Maud confessed how grateful she was that her mum had been with her to help her grieve.
She then thanked all her loved ones for rallying to support her. ‘I love crying!’ she added, praising its powers of release.
After her father died, Maud (pictured) explained that she had started making origami birds to help her to grieve soon after her father died, an experience she called ‘meditative’.
After her father died, Maud explained that she had started making origami birds to help her to grieve, an experience she called ‘meditative’.
During her sorrow, she remembered hearing a line that resonated with her experience. ‘Grief is love without a place to go’.
‘There’s many painful things about my dad’s death but one of the most painful things was that I had so much love for him that I couldn’t show him,’ she said before breaking down in tears.
‘Sometimes I do think of heaven and that he’s watching over me and sometimes I can feel him on the other side but other times it’s painful that he isn’t physically here.’
During the conversation, she was comforted by her mother, Märtha Louise, who considers herself deeply spiritual and even ‘clairvoyant’. Her mother told her a heartwarming anecdote where she saw her deceased former husband where he was finally at rest.
After her father’s death, Maud’s upset eventually turned to anger. She realised how devastated she was that she wouldn’t be able to gift any of the birds to her late father.
Nevertheless, she never stopped making the birds and ended up leaving them all over her school. Many of them were picked up and taken home by her classmates and other locals as a symbol of sympathy.
The three daughters of Ari Behn, pictured, mourning their father’s death as their mother holds two of her children under her arm
‘It was really healing for me because I could take something painful into art, into something beautiful that I could use my pain for creation.’
The 21-year-old has continued to express herself through creative outlets ever since her father died and now experiments with her own image.
Last year, she shaved her head and has recently dyed her hair green. Maud described treating herself as a piece of art she likes to dress for her own image.
Maud now honours her father in many ways including using his old typewriters and listening to jazz, his favourite kind of music, which hadn’t managed to get into when he was alive.
Mr Behn was best known for his marriage to Princess Märtha Louise of Norway, Maud’s mother however, at the time, their marriage was shrouded in criticism. Mr Behn was deemed an unsuitable match for the former princess since he as a self-styled Bohemian author and artist.
They married in a lavish ceremony at the historic Nidaros Cathedral in Trondheim in 2002 but chose to flee to London ten years later following sustained scrutiny of their married life.
After their wedding, the couple had three children together Maud Angelica, 21, Leah Isadora, 19, and Emma Tallulah. Princess Märtha Louise of Norway is the only daughter of King Harald V of Norway and Queen Sonja. She has a brother, Crown Prince Haakon.
Official royal family photograph celebrating Crown Prince Haakon (Up 2nd L) 45th birthday with his family, while he poses beside Princess Martha Louise (Up L), Crown Princess Mette-Marit (Up C), Princess Ingrid Alexandra (2nd R), Maud Angelica Behn (R), (Bottom L-R) Prince Sverre Magnus, Queen Sonja and King Harald V, in July 2018
However, Martha-Louise and Ari began divorce proceedings in 2016 because, as Princess Martha said, they had ‘grown apart from one another’ and ‘no longer meet like we did before’.
At time, she said: ‘We have tried everything over a long period of time, and when we still can’t meet where we did before, it’s impossible for us to continue,’ she said reports Norway’s News in English.
In an interview with the BBC last year Martha spoke about her first husband and the ‘cristicism’ he faced.
She said: ‘His mental health depended a lot on him getting criticism in the media.
‘But I am not saying it was anyone’s fault. It is always how you handle criticism. The press took self-criticism after he died, that they were perhaps a little harsh towards him, and that he only received criticism and was actually a very nice person.’
After the divorce Mr Behn wrote a book Inferno, which critics described as ‘oozing with despair and sadness’ and describes his struggles with mental health, headaches, hallucinations and difficulty breathing.
Pictured: Princess Martha Louise’s husband-to-be Durek Verret with his celebrity client Gwyneth Paltrow
Since the death her husband, Princess Märtha Louise has become engaged to Durek Verrett, an American businessman who is a friend of Gwyneth Paltrow’s.
The relationship has been another controversial chapter in the Norwegian royal’s life as Mr Verrett’s controversial opinions were thrust into the limelight when their romance became public.
Eyebrows were raised when the Princess first began dating Verrett, who holds some controversial and pseudoscientific views, including that cancer in children can be caused by ‘being unhappy’.
In November 2022, Princess Martha announced she was stepping down as a senior member of the Royal Family in a move labelled ‘Norway’s Megxit’.
In an interview with the BBC last year, she praised her parents, King Harald and Queen Sonja, for keeping the dialogue open while she made her decision and they worked out the details about how the arrangements would work.
When asked about her decision in comparison with Prince Harry and Meghan Markle, who also stepped down as senior royals, she spoke about her ‘amazing’ family, including King Harald and Queen Sonja, and how the dialogue between them has always remained open.
If you are struggling with depression or suicidal thoughts, you can contact the Samaritans online or call their 24/7 hotline 116 123
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