The mother of a transgender child has shared a list of heartbreaking questions she must ask herself now that her son is headed back to school.
Amber Briggle, 39, of Denton, Texas, has a nine-year-old son, Max, and a four-year-old daughter, Lulu. The mother, who is also an advocate for transgender rights, writes regularly about her parenting experiences and loving her children ‘unconditionally’.
And now, as Max, who was born in a female body but made it clear from a young age he identifies as a boy, heads to fourth grade, Briggle detailed the most common questions she and other parents of transgender children ask themselves at that time of the year.
Opening up: Amber Briggle, of Denton, Texas, has a son named Max (pictured with her left). She described the questions she and other parents of transgender children ask themselves
The school year is always a source of ‘trepidation’ for Briggle, as she wrote in a Refinery29 piece published on Tuesday.
‘Adding to the new school year anxiety is the fact that we also live in Texas, a state that attempted to pass 30 anti-LGBTQ bills during this year’s legislative session and, when that wasn’t enough, Governor Greg Abbott added a “special session” over the summer just to try to eke out a little more hate before the school year started,’ she wrote.
Instead of the usual concerns parents face when their little ones head back to school, such as getting new supplies and making sure their children get fresh haircuts, Briggle must consider whether, and how, Max’s school will support her son.
‘Does the school board have a written policy for supporting transgender students?’ she wrote at the top of her list of questions.
Sharing: Briggle (pictured with her son, her daughter, and State Representative Lynn Stucky) writes regularly about her parenting experiences and loving her children ‘unconditionally’
Explaining: The mom has gotten to know the school officials who can support her son—but pointed out she knew many transgender children who had to be pulled out of school
While Max’s school has a no-bullying policy, it doesn’t have a similar policy explicitly protecting transgender children.
She has instead gotten to know the school officials who can support her son when he needs to—but pointed out she knew many transgender children who had to be pulled out of their schools because of hostility towards them.
Among her practical concerns, ‘Will my kid be able to pee?’ came second in her list of questions.
While Texas’ bathroom bill faltered in the summer, Briggle explained how she and other parents of transgender children must keep the issue in mind.
‘If Max were forced to go to the girls’ bathroom to use a toilet, he’s far more likely to just hold it all day[…] or limit his food and water intake all day, which many transgender people do, so that he won’t need to use public facilities at all,’ she wrote.
Questions: Briggle also explained she has to wonder whether her son will fit in socially, adding ‘Can my child go to sleepovers?’ to her list of concerns
Communicating: The mom (pictured with her two children) also explained how opening up to other parents has helped her create a safe environment for her son
Other concerns having to do with school policies included ‘What happens when there’s a sub, and my kid’s name doesn’t match their school records?’ and ‘Will my child be able to play on a sports team?’
Briggle also explained she has to wonder whether her son will fit in socially, adding ‘Can my child go to sleepovers?’ and ‘Will my child be bullied for being gender non-confirming?’ to her list of concerns.
‘Despite the fact that most schools have an anti-bullying policy, a lot of these kids feel under attack and unsupported, leading to depression and a suicide-attempt rate that is nearly 10 times higher than the rest of the country,’ she wrote.
The mom also explained how opening up to other parents has helped her create a safe environment for her child.
‘On the playground and at school, Max’s friends are good allies when other kids misgender him, but that advocacy didn’t happen accidentally,’ she wrote, ‘it came from having conversations with the parents of his friends, letting them know that these sorts of things were happening, and asking them if they could instruct their kids on appropriate language that could both educate the other children and show Max that they’ve got his back.’