A woman who lost her father to brain cancer has opened up on how she grieved her dad before he had even died after the disease left the fit and healthy bus driver ‘childlike’ within just 48 hours.
Peter Pattenden, 59, from Wodonga on the NSW-Victoria border, died in March 2020 just months after doctors discovered tumours in his brain.
Mr Pattenden was once a fit and healthy bus driver who even featured on the front page of his local newspaper after completing a 52km swim in the Hume Weir in 2012.
He became known as the Wodonga Raider’s unofficial mascot when he dressed up as a Viking and played his electric guitar to the delight of the crowd.
However, when Mr Pattenden lost his balance trying to put on a pair of socks in late 2019 his partner knew something was wrong and rushed him to hospital.
Doctors attempted to remove the tumours during gruelling 12-hour surgery at Royal Melbourne Hospital the very next day.
He was then approved for six weeks of radiation and chemotherapy in an attempt to shrink the tumours before undergoing two weeks of rehab.
The father-of-four lost the use of the left-hand-side of his body and soon needed help to eat, go to the toilet and perform basic tasks.
Rachael Williams has opened up on how she was left to grieve her father before he had even died after he was diagnosed with stage four brain cancer. They are pictured together after Mr Pattenden enjoyed a meal at her home for the last time
Peter Pattenden, 59, was the unofficial mascot of the Wodonga Raiders. He has been described as a ‘character’ and much-loved bus driver by his daughter
Ms Williams said her father went from being strong and fit to becoming ‘childlike’ in less than 48 hours. Mr Pattenden is pictured centre with his three sons and Rachel
His only daughter, Rachel Williams, 33, has opened up on her father’s final days, telling Daily Mail Australia his death ultimately inspired her to live life to the fullest.
Ms Williams said her father went from being strong and fit to becoming ‘childlike’ in less than 48 hours, in a transformation that came as a shock to his loved ones.
They celebrated what would be Mr Pattenden’s last Christmas in the wellness room of the cancer centre in Albury, in a day she described as both wholesome and sad.
Eventually, Mr Pattenden was moved to palliative care where a decision was made to limit the number of visitors he could receive to allow him to rest.
‘You could see his head was throbbing,’ Ms Williams said.
‘He was on so many heavy painkillers, his eyes were sort of drooping out of his head.
‘You could see that he was really struggling with the amount of people and the conversations and having to stay awake for so long.
‘At the end of the day, you just want them to be as comfortable as possible.’
Ms Williams said she began to grieve her father before he had even died.
Mr Pattenden (pictured in hospital with his daughter Ms Williams) was once a fit and healthy bus driver who even featured on the front page of his local newspaper after completing a 52km swim in the Hume Dam in 2012
However, when he lost his balance trying to put on a pair of socks in late 2019 his partner knew something was wrong and rushed him to hospital
‘It’s really hard to process, it’s an emotional f*** around in your head because you’re grieving them but they’re still alive,’ she said.
‘And then almost wanting them to die because you know that it’s going to be better for them. I knew that he had no life left in him. I knew he had no quality of life.
‘He couldn’t get out of bed. You feel guilty for just wanting it to hurry up and happen, but it’s like, if the inevitable is going to happen, can it just happen already?’
Mr Pattenden passed away peacefully on March 3, 2020 at Wodonga Hospital.
Ms Williams said his death forced her to re-evaluate what she wanted from her life and pushed her to do the things she had previously been scared of.
‘It just opened my eyes up so much,’ she said.
Loved ones celebrated what would be Mr Pattenden’s last Christmas in the wellness room of the cancer centre in Albury, in a day Ms Williams described as both wholesome and sad. He is pictured with his four children
‘I was just living in La La Land, day in, day out doing the same thing. It was just this huge slap in the face as to how quickly life can be taken from you.
‘Nobody expected my dad to die and nobody expected him to die that way, losing all his mobility and any independence that he had, it was just so unexpected.
‘So for me, I took that lesson and I don’t want my dad to die in vain. I want to change my life and do things I’ve been too scared to do and live my life a bit more.
‘We ended up selling our house and moving from Victoria up to Queensland, we just sold our house down there and bought a house on the internet up here.’
Ms Williams has shared moments of her ‘grief journey’ on TikTok where she hopes to inspire people to share their own experiences of loss.
Mr Pattenden is pictured enjoying the sun on his skin after spending three months in a hospital room
A video of Peter coming to her home for dinner for the last time has had more than one million views on TikTok.
Hundreds of people shared their own experiences of losing family members to the same brain cancer, called glioblastoma, in the comments.
‘I feel like more people should be open about talking about their grief because it’s that saying of we’re stronger together, if more people are open to talking about it and normalising it and allowing people to feel what they need to feel, I feel like [grief] would be an easier process for people,’ she said.
‘Living in a world where illnesses like cancer are so prevalent, it’s good to talk about it because it can mentally prepare people for something like this.’
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