Reddit sides with autistic dad who wears headphones when his baby cried despite his wife’s protest

Hundreds are slamming a new mum after she demanded her husband stop wearing headphones to muffle out their baby’s cries.  

The dad explained he has diagnosed autism and needs to wear headphones to tend to his crying daughter so he doesn’t get ‘overwhelmed’. 

He said while noise-cancelling headphones don’t completely block out the cries his wife ‘hates it’ and has asked him to stop.

The new mum says her husband should be able to cope with ‘everything’ parenting involves. 

‘She also said that it probably scares our daughter to see her dad with stuff on his head when she’s at her most distressed,’ he added. 

The 33-year-old asked if he was in the wrong and a ‘bad dad’ or whether his wife was making an ‘unreasonable demand’ by dismissing his disability.

The dad says he and his 30-year-old ‘amazing’ wife have a three-month-old who ‘is a chill and happy little thing who makes our world shine’ but, as most babies do, can cry, ‘sometimes a lot’.

‘I’m diagnosed autistic and as a result have some pretty severe sensory issues particularly around sound, and particularly when I’m tired,’ he wrote in a Reddit post.

‘I have noise cancelling headphones which are a godsend so I started wearing them when I found her crying too overwhelming, particularly when I get up at night with her.’

The dad said he can still hear her cries faintly while wearing the headphones and clarified he doesn’t put them on to ignore her sobs. 

‘It’s quite the opposite, I wear them so I can hold her without feeling overwhelmed,’ he said. 

Hundreds sided with the man after explained he has autism and needs to wear headphones to tend to his crying daughter so he doesn’t get ‘overwhelmed’

‘Most of the time she’s a joy, I love our 2am feeds when it feels like nobody else in the world is awake except us, enjoying the stillness and solitude. I love her so much.’

However the mum wants to put a stop to the man’s headphone habit saying he should be able to deal with all the ‘bad stuff’ they ‘signed up for’ when becoming parents.

‘(She said) that it’s important not to block out her crying so I can feel what our daughter is feeling,’ the dad wrote. 

‘What she said makes a lot of sense so I stopped wearing them and handled the resulting meltdowns afterwards.’

The man’s family agree he should stop wearing headphones and he worries he might be ‘neglectful’ of his daughter’s needs by not hearing her cries at full volume.

However, he has one friend who said it was an ‘unreasonable demand’ and his needs with his disability ‘matter too’. 

Hundreds were quick to chime in with their opinions and sided with the dad saying he has come up with the perfect solution to be able to tend to his daughter when she’s distressed without getting ‘overstimulated’. 

‘Why not be able to wear the headphones? There’s nothing wrong with that. It’s really weird to say that the baby will have problems with you having those on your head when she’s distressed. The baby will not know either way!’ one woman said. 

‘This is crazy. What difference does it make? It’s like saying you have to wash nappies by hand to experience the bad stuff,’ a second added. 

‘You’re taking care of your baby, not just in the immediate instance, but in the long-term, by ensuring that you don’t get sensory overload and autistic burnout. That would really impact your ability to co-parent!’ a third replied. 

Others slammed the wife as ‘ableist’ for disallowing her husband to deal with his sensory issues as he sees fit but the dad was quick to defend her.  

‘For the most part she’s amazing with my autism, she can pick up on my needs before I can even articulate them into words and respond accordingly but on this she was in the wrong,’ he responded.