The term ‘fetish’ has earned a very negative connotation, but according to a dating expert – having an unusual turn-on is actually a lot more common than many may realize.
A fetish is a defined as a ‘form of sexual desire that’s linked to a particular object, activity, or body part other than the sexual organs.’
Unfortunately, many people tend to hide their deepest bedroom fantasies from their partners out of fear or embarrassment, but licensed relationship therapist and author Jaime Bronstein insisted to DailyMail.com that keeping them a secret will only make things worse for your relationship in the long run.
The Los Angeles-based writer explained that despite having a reputation of being taboo or bizarre, fetishes are completely normal – and being honest with your partner about yours can actually spice things up in the bedroom and help you form an even deeper connection down the line. That is, if you approach the topic in the right way.
The term ‘fetish’ has earned a very negative connotation, but according to a dating expert – having an unusual turn-on is actually a lot more common than many may realize (stock image)
Licensed relationship therapist and author Jaime Bronstein shared five vital tips for telling your partner about a secret fetish you may have exclusively to DailyMail.com
Jaime went ahead and shared five vital tips for telling your partner about a secret fetish you may have – including how you should start the conversation and what to do if your admission is met with criticism.
The love expert explained that it’s vital speak about your turn-ons without fear – no matter how odd they may be – because seeming nervous about them will instantly make it seem like they’re something to be ashamed with.
Instead, you should go into the conversation confidently, and don’t forget to throw in some humor if things do start to become tense.
According to dating coach Jaime, here are the best ways to tell your partner that you’ve got a strange sexual desire.
Communicate with confidence because acting nervous makes it seem like a bad thing
According to Jaime, the best way to let your partner know that you have a fetish is to do it with confidence.
While she knows that being open about it means putting yourself in a ‘vulnerable position,’ she explained that seeming nervous during the conversation can make the fetish seem a bad thing, so it’s important to ‘communicate without fear.’
The dating expert explained that if you feel ready enough to tell them about it, then you need to ‘trust that your partner will not judge you.’
‘At the beginning of the conversation, express that you will be sharing something you’ve been weary of sharing and ask them to please not judge you and continue to love you unconditionally,’ she recommended.
‘If you are going to share your fetish and put yourself in a vulnerable position, you need to trust that if your partner loves you, they will not judge you.’
Use it as a chance to ‘mix things up’ in the bedroom
Jaime, who has penned the book MAN*ifesting, explained that sharing a fetish can actually pose as a great opportunity for couples to ‘mix things up’ in the bedroom.
She suggested that when you tell your partner about it, point out that you can use it to spice up your romance – and you might be ‘pleasantly surprised by their reaction.’
The relationship therapist added that your partner may even have their own secret sexual fantasy that they’ve been hiding.
‘Start by expressing how much you love your partner and your relationship and that you thought it would be fun to mix it up in the bedroom, and then share your fetish and see what they say,’ she said.
‘You might be pleasantly surprised by their reaction. Then ask your partner if they have any fetishes. You may feel more connected and less alone [afterwards].’
Remind your partner that fetishes are a lot more normal than many realize
According to Jaime, fetishes are actually more normal than many realize – so remind your partner that while it ‘may sound weird’ at first, you’re likely not alone (stock image)
According to Jaime, fetishes are actually more normal than many realize – which is why it’s important to remind your partner that while it ‘may sound weird’ at first, there’s likely tons of other people who have similar interests.
‘Explain that although it might sound weird to your partner, it’s not just you that has this fetish,’ she suggested.
‘Request that your partner still loves and respects you regardless of your fetish. And [point out] that you only told them because you trust them.’
Be light-hearted about it
Jaime pointed out that bringing ‘humor to any conversation’ can help ease tension, so she suggested being ‘light-hearted’ about it when you bring it up.
‘If you bring humor to the conversation, it can lighten up the situation,’ she dished.
‘For example, you could share your fetish and then say, “Just kidding.” That way, you plant the seed, laugh about it, and then reveal that you were serious.’
Don’t put pressure on your partner to participate in your fetish if they’re not comfortable
Last but not least, Jaime warned against putting pressure on your partner to participate in your fetish if they’re not comfortable.
While it’s important that they don’t make you feel bad about it, she explained that they don’t have to be interested in the same thing.
‘Let your partner know that if they don’t want to appease you by participating in your fetish, it’s OK,’ she told DailyMail.com readers.
‘Explain that you at least wanted to share it with them so that you wouldn’t feel like you had any secrets.
‘Whether your partner is on board or not, you will feel relieved that you shared what was on your mind, which is always a plus in a relationship.’
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Read more at DailyMail.co.uk